Fault Line
by FeistyFeist
Summary: It's summer. Pony's older, Darry's tired. Pony doesn't want to listen and Darry makes a mistake. For the both of them, taking off is only the beginning.
1. Chapter 1

So I got an idea. And I wrote. Let's see how this goes.

Bear with me…storylines will be revealed.

Please review. They make the heart grow fonder.

XxX

I. Don't Fence Me In

XxX

It's all Two-Bit's fault, if you look at it the way I do.

And sure, it's easy to blame my friend but he got me into this mess.

XxX

Soda shakes me. Hard. "I'm going to work, Pony. Right now." His whisper is loud and he breathes it into my ear. He reaches out and tickles my side.

I bury my head in the blankets, muffling a laugh. "Leave m'alone, Sodapop. It's not my fault you gotta work. You stayed in school, you'd get summer break too. Stop bein jealous."

"Oh, ho," Soda chuckles. "Bring that up, kiddo." He swats me on the head and I hear the bed creak as he hops off of it.

"Ponyboy." There's another, deeper voice in the room. "You clean up the house today, get dinner ready."

Giving up on sleep, I wriggle underneath the covers and sit up stiffly. I wipe my eyes. Darry's in the doorway, staring at me. He looks amused and annoyed at the same which is nothing new for him as of late. I've pissed him off pretty good and by the look of his face he isn't nearing forgiveness anytime soon.

"You hear me?"

"Sure, Dar. No problem."

Soda grabs his shoes, giving me a cautious glance. He straightens up and claps Darry on the shoulder. "Let's get to work, Darry."

"And stay on our side of town too," Darry hollers as the two of them are leaving.

I glare at the empty doorway. "Aye, aye, Captain."

XxX

"Give him a break, Dar," Soda tells me. "You know it wasn't his fault. At least most of it." Leaning over, Soda fiddles with the radio, bypassing Elvis, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones…

I grunt and take a right on Avondale Street. "Soda, I don't want to hear this right now." I eye the dial, still turning. "And can you stop messing with that thing?"

Soda rolls his eyes, leaving it on an old Hank Williams song which would make Pony's skin crawl. Soda cranks the window down. There's the flick of his lighter and then he's breathing in cigarette smoke. "You can't stay mad at him forever. And you definitely can't yell at him anymore."

"Don't you worry," I snap. "He can definitely hold his own." Feeling my voice begin to rise, I take a breath and point at my brother. "Look—I'll try not to. I promise."

The minute I say it, I know I shouldn't have. Pony's stumbled into his teen years and even though the same kid's still there, he's even more stubborn and wily than ever. He's growing up and it scares me something fierce.

The DX comes into view and I pull up on the curve next to the gasoline pumps. Steve waves at me from inside the shop.

Satisfied, Soda finishes the smoke and grinds it out in the ashtray. "He'll have a good summer, get his shit together."

Soda jumps out of the truck, slamming the door so hard the window shakes.

XxX

Late afternoon sunlight finds my face, waking me up. I yawn and stretch, having managed to go back to sleep after Sodapop's antics earlier this morning. I toss on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before heading into the living room.

There's a rattling in the kitchen and I find Two-Bit searching the ice box. "You got cake?" he asks without turning around.

I sit down at the table. "You ate it last weekend."

"We could cook another one." Shrugging, he shuts the door and turns around. "Your eye looks better. It's not black anymore."

"Yeah, but it's blue." I bring a hand up to touch the tender bruise under my right eye. "A different color don't count, Two-Bit."

Two-Bit grins at me. "How about that cake?"

XxX

"Well, I think we've been productive today, don't you? You're spending summer vacation the right way, kiddo."

I survey the kitchen, now a disaster, with chocolate spread everywhere and flour coating the floor. "Are you kidding me Two-Bit? We made a cake and then ate it. In under an hour."

"As I said before," Two-Bit ruffles my hair. "Productive. I think it's a world record."

"I doubt it," I mumble, suspiciously feeling my hair for any bits of chocolate Two-Bit might have managed to slip in there. "I gotta clean this up…Darry'll go crazy." The house suddenly seems too small and I realize I'm bored. I'm really, really bored with no place to go.

Two-Bit's busy cleaning his nails with his blade. "He still mad at you?"

I grab the broom from the closet and sigh. "Yeah. I don't blame him though."

"I don't either."

"Thanks a lot."

XxX

Dinner's on the table when I get home and the house is spotless. The tension, however, is heavy in the air. All I do lately is yell at Pony and neither one of us can stand it. Or each other. But this time he's older and he yells back.

"I made chicken," Pony offers as I hang up my tool belt and toss my wallet on the coffee table. The thing's as thick as a brick.

"Smells good."

My brother's lounging on the couch, reading a book I've seen him read 20 times now. "Haven't you read that before?"

"Yeah, but it's ok. It's a good one." He smiles, eyes still on the page in front of him, and sometimes I wonder how I can stay mad at him. But his black eye keeps reminding me to be pissed.

Walking into the kitchen, I say, "If you can get a ride to the library tomorrow afternoon, I'll pick up you from work. You can get some new books." It's close to a stalemate as I can get.

"Okay, Dar. Thanks."

My mouth opens and closes, working on a half-ass apology. "Listen, Pone…" Pony stares at me like I'm a fish out of water. "Sometimes I don't mean—"

Before I can get any further the front door bursts open and Soda and Steve roll inside. They're talking about the latest poker game to organize and any conversation Pony and I have been about to discuss falls down the drain.

I stick my hands in my pockets and Pony opens his book.

XxX

It's late and the smell of cigarette smoke and quiet chatter float through the screen door into the house. I grab my pack of smokes and go join the front porch.

"Howdy," Soda drawls, his face lit up by the glow of his cigarette. Steve's out there with him too, sucking down a beer.

Soda's been smoking a lot lately and I know I'm the reason. He's worried. Worried about what happened, about me and Darry and (if I were any kind of brother) stuff I'm sure I don't even know about. Sometimes I really think I don't deserve Soda one bit.

"Hey." I rest against the railing of the porch.

Steve's scrutinizing me in the dark and unconsciously I cover my eye. "Give it a rest," I mutter. I face the lawn, watching the grass blow in the light evening breeze.

Steve's smile is smug. "I didn't say nothin."

XxX


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimers: SE Hinton owns the Outsiders.

II. I Don't Know

XxX

Ponyboy's up the next morning, making some sort of egg concoction that rivals Sodapop's cooking skills. I give it a glance and pour myself a cup of bitter coffee. I take a sip and watch him poke the eggs with a spatula, hoping he's not planning to mope around the house all summer.

"Still need a ride home from the library?"

He nods; his green eyes wide. The bruise surrounding the right is now a neat blue color. "Sure thing, Dar. Two-Bit'll give me a ride there." He holds the pan out to me. "Want some breakfast?"

"No thanks, I'm gonna be late." I check my watch, patting my pockets for my wallet. "Soda will eat some though." I eye the countertops, still searching.

"It's on the coffee table…" Pony mutters.

"What is?"

"Your wallet," he says, shuffling around the kitchen. He finds a plate and scrapes a measly portion of eggs onto it. He fixes it with a stare, stabbing the eggs with his fork.

"Go sit down and eat, Pony," I tell him, darting into the living room to grab my wallet. "You weren't raised in a barn."

He's still standing when I walk back to him, the eggs cold and untouched. I reach my hand out, moving his cheek to get a better glance at his eye. Pony jerks his chin out of my touch, pressing his tense body back against the counter.

I stare at my brother, already feeling myself bristle. I give him another quick look over to make sure he's okay, then I'm heading out the front door, telling him to put some ice on that eye and that I'll see him at six tonight.

XxX

I watch Darry leave and dump my eggs in the sink. Just two weeks ago everything had been a-okay. Now we can't even stand each other…

XxX

_It's the first argument Darry and I have in a while, nearly a year. Since Windrixville we've been heaps better. Bickering slightly at times, yet never truly angry. He gets me, I know he really does. And I get him. But as I stare at the sight in front of me I know I've changed since I was 14. _

_The kitchen table's littered with brochures and pamphlets and all kinds of college paraphernalia. Only it's not mine. It's Darry's – for me. I see a majority of the brochures he's collected are colleges in Oklahoma, one's in Texas and one's in Kansas; border towns._

_I stand high above them, mere paper on the kitchen table, and they still scare me for reasons known and unknown._

_Lately, I've been dreaming about Johnny and Dal; what they did and didn't do. Talking to guys on the track team and watching Two-Bit finally graduate and I've come to realize I have no idea what I want to do with my life. And even though I'm almost, only 16, I realize as I stare at the brochures that college isn't top of my list. _

"_I requested some information."_

_Darry's voice scares me and I jump. "Glory Dar!" I exhale. _

_He looks sheepish. "Sorry, kiddo." He crosses his broad arms. "So what do you think?"_

"_Well, I think you really shouldn't go sneakin up on people like that. Fixin to give someone a heart attack."_

_Now Darry looks annoyed. "No. I mean about the colleges." _

_I shrug, wishing Soda would make an appearance. "It's okay, I guess. Can't really think about college right now."_

"_Why not?"_

"_It's just so far off, Dar. Ya know?"_

"_It's not that far, Ponyboy. It's the summer, you can do some research."_

_I raise an eyebrow. "Research, huh?" _

"_I'm just thinkin about your future." _

"_Yeah, _my_ future."_

"_I know that." Darry squints at me and I wonder if he really does._

_We leave it like that; for a week nothing more is spoken of college. A few nights later I catch Darry complaining to Sodapop about how ornery I'm getting and he blames puberty. "He's a teenager," Soda excuses. "He's gonna give you shit."_

"_How come he doesn't give you any?" Darry grumbles, causing me to wince. _

XxX

"So the library, huh?" Two-Bit asks.

I nod and snap my seatbelt on.

"I know a few more interesting spots that'll keep your attention better than a book," Two-Bit suggests, putting his blinker on and veering hard to the left, cutting off an approaching Mustang. He checks his rearview mirror and chuckles at the sucker behind him.

I raise an eyebrow and pull out a pack of smokes. "I'm not interested in a disease, Two-Bit."

He chuckles. "I gotta stop teachin you my suave lines."

"Shoot, you ain't teachin me nothin."

"What you need kid, is a vacation."

"Hell, maybe I'll run away to Timbucktoo and make everyone happy."

Two-Bit really seems to be considering this when he finally says, "You know, Pone, I think it's about time you wiped the unending scowl off your face."

I can't help it; I scowl. "Easy for you to say. You didn't get the shit kicked out of you and then have Darry shove it back in your face."

"He was just mad—"

"Yeah, yeah, I know why he was mad. I heard it from Sodapop, I don't need to hear it from you too, so can it."

"Alright. I'll shut the hell up."

"That'll be a first."

XxX

I'm caught up in work, so caught up in my thoughts about Ponyboy that when my co-worker asks me to get a drink after my shift's over it sounds like a blessing in disguise. It's been a while since I've had a good stiff drink…

XxX

"_Dar…" Ponyboy ventures the night after I complain to Soda about him. I'm reading the paper in my recliner, a beer on the end table next to me. _

"_What, Pony?" _

_It's a bad night for a conversation and I should have stopped him at that. Work's been hell and Soda's giving me grief about I don't know what. I hate to admit it, but it's one of those weeks when I think about the what-ifs. _

_And sometimes I hate myself for it. _

"_I've been thinkin about college…"_

_I set my paper down._

"…_and maybe that I don'twanttogo." Suddenly, he's 14 again, earnest and scared. _

"_That's not an option, kiddo." I shake my paper open, thinking he's joking and I'm not in the mood. There's a long pause and then—_

"_Well, why the hell not?" _

_It's the voice that riles me – adult yet young. Confused yet experienced. I get it then that he really means what he just said. I make a note to ask Soda if Pony's said anything to him about this. _

"_You don't know what you're talking about," I sigh. Pony just stares, his shaggy brown hair in his face, scrawny body standing in front of me."You're young…you…just…" I trail off, searching for what to say._

"_It's just an idea," he mutters. "I thought I'd tell you."_

"_You'll grow out of it."_

_His eyes narrow. "Yeah, because you know what I want." _

_Irritated, I sit up and snap, "Ponyboy, I don't have time for this right now. But listen – the next time you need my help, consider yourself on your own. How about that?" _

_Ponyboy blinks in surprise and then nods. "Whatever you say, Dar."_

_And I think that's that. I know he's hurt and the week before school gets out I keep meaning to apologize and really listen to him – even though I think he's still wrong._

_But I don't._

XxX

Soda, Steve and Two-Bit are involved in a poker game when I get home from work. I sling my tool belt on the floor, ignoring the mess of shoes and jackets piled on the floor. I don't care for once, Social Services be damned.

I'm tired; I'm really tired and as I watch the guy's up their antes and bluff I'd give anything to be my real age for once. Then Soda glances up and asks, "Where's Pone?", and all of it comes crashing back down.

Shit.

"You forgot him?" Soda's frowning at me. "Dar?"

XxX

Pardon typos.

Thank you, thank you for the reviews. Many thanks - I owe you another fast chapter.

As always, please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimers:

SE Hinton owns the Outsiders.

Cursing in this chapter.

III. Truckin'

XxX

"If Darry thinks this is funny, I ain't laughin," I mutter to myself. The five books I've checked-out from the library are giving me a workout and I really wish I would have rethought _Moby Dick_.

I pause to rest, switching my backpack from one shoulder to the other.

I waited as long as I could have at the library. When it came time for them to lock up, I rushed out of there like a carpetbagger. I had no change to call anyone and I didn't mind walking but was slightly hurt by the fact that Darry…what? Forgot about me? Left me to learn some sort of lesson? Again?

Whatever it was, I was still clueless.

I continue the walk for a few more minutes, thinking about Darry, until I trip over my feet and land in the gutter. The books are strewn all over the ground, their pages now dirty and tattered. "Shit." Hastily, I scrape the books back in the backpack, stand up and stick my thumb out.

I'm hitchhiking. And if Darry don't like it, there ain't a lot he can do about it…

XxX

_I go to a party Darry tells me I can't. _

_And he doesn't just randomly mention it to me in passing. He flat out tells me I can't – even Sodapop echoes his warning._

_It's a graduation party for one of my track buddies – who's a year ahead of me. His name's Jeremy Connors and he's a soc, which Darry considers a big deal. But Jeremy invited me and even though I don't care if I go or not I'm still pissed at Darry and so I think that if he won't listen to me, I won't listen to him. _

_I have one beer; one beer and that's it. I chat with a few friends from school, talk about track finals, even college, chat with Susie Phillips, the blonde from my English class. The night winds down and I find myself having fun. Everything goes great until they get drunk. _

_And then I'm the Greaser and they're the Socs and they just want to have a fun old time. _

_I hold my own pretty well but still. I don't have Soda or Two-Bit or even Steve to get my back. When they're finished, I'm spitting blood onto the sidewalk and my right eye hurts something awful. _

_At least I knock a tooth out of one of them. _

_I kick it into the gutter. _

_My pride's hurt more than I am; it hurts even worse when I find that my ride left._

_I hobble to a supermarket down the block and manage to dig a few coins from my pocket. The phone rings about five times and then Darry answers. He barks his greeting into the receiver and it's a miracle I don't hang up right then and there._

"_Hey Dar…"_

"_Ponyboy, where are you? It's nearly midnight." Darry's voice is raspy; making me think I've just woke him up. _

"_I need a ride…"_

"_What?"_

"_Dar, I went to that party…" I close my eyes, practically feeling my brother's blood boil over the phone. I resist asking for Sodapop, knowing this will irritate him even more. "Can you come—"_

"_That party in Burnham?" Without waiting for a reply, Darry sighs then snaps, "Ponyboy, I have work tomorrow. I can't be driving all across town to pick you up from a damn party you shouldn't even be at."_

_I frown at the receiver. "But Darry—"_

"_Are you drunk?"_

"_No, but these guys—"_

"_Then find a ride home, Ponyboy. You're on your own, kiddo." He hangs up and all I can do is stare in awe at the phone in my hand. _

XxX

"Lookin worse for wear there, stranger." The man pops the passenger side door open and I crawl into the Chevy.

"Thanks." I nestle my backpack on the floor between my feet.

The driver's Darry's age, with long blonde hair and a thin face. He has a twine bracelet on his left wrist and a tattoo on his neck. He looks lost but seems comfortable with that.

"Where to?" he asks, glancing my way.

"Just a few miles down," I tell him and offer him an apologetic smile when he gives me a puzzled glance. "I'm from Tulsa."

His laugh's a low, easy sound. He smears his hair back. "Shoot man, and I was thinkin we were in for an adventure of sorts. Crazy times on Route 66 or something like that."

I chuckle. "No, more like my _brother-forgot-about-me-and-I-need-a-lift-home_."

"Rough, huh?" When I nod, he stretches a hand out. "Name's Joey."

"Curtis. Just Curtis," I say, not wanting to get into a long explanation about my first name.

Joey nods. "Okay, Just Curtis." His voice is tinged with amusement.

My eyes brush over the car; there's a map spread out across his dashboard, fast food wrappers strewn in the backseat. His wallet is stashed on the floor, next to a six-pack of Bud, which I don't think is such a hot idea but who I'm laying off the judgments.

I rest my head against the window, watching the familiar surroundings of my neighborhood swing into view. "Where are you headed?"

"California," he says. "Maybe LA. See the ocean."

"That'd be nice."

"Right?"

"Yeah…"

"Kid, I mean, take a right here?" I shake out of my daze to see that we're at a stop sign.

"Oh, yeah…" I mumble. "Then the first left and you can let me out."

"Nice neighborhood you live in…"

I'm about to snort when a sideways glance at Joey tells me he's not kidding. I bite my tongue, feeling like a heel. He pulls his Chevy up to the curb and cuts the engine. "There you are."

When I look at my house I feel nothing, just an intense wonder I can't place. I open the door and slide out. "Thanks. I mean it. Thanks a lot."

"No worries," Joey says.

I'm halfway up the driveway when there's a "Hey, Just Curtis!" from behind me. Turning, I see Joey, still behind the wheel, holding my backpack up. He's grinning.

"Idiot," I mutter, rushing back to the car. Joey hands me back the bag through the rolled down window. It's lighter than usual and that's when I notice Joey has _Moby Dick_ in his hand.

"Your backpack's zipper broke," he volunteers. I reach for the book and he stops me. "One second…" Joey whips a pen out, flips the book open and scribbles something on the inside cover of the library book.

"Hey! That's not mine!"

"It is now," Joey says. He plops it in my palm.

XxX

"How could you have forgotten?" Soda keeps asking.

Not used to being on the receiving end of Soda's scolding, my hackles rise. But he's right; I screwed up. Again.

"I know, I know." I run a hand through my hair, scouring the dark streets. Any chance I had of making up with Ponyboy doesn't seem too good at the current moment.

"He wouldn't have waited for us," Soda says, his left leg bouncing up and down. He's smoking again, something he's been doing recently.

"Relax, Sodapop. I'm sure he's at home…" I drive once more down the block near the library and then turn the truck in the direction of our house. Soda's mad at me and this time I can't blame him…

XxX

_I wait half an hour and then grab my keys. _

_Any pretense of letting Ponyboy stick it out in Burnham searching for a ride has long since vanished and I figure I've let him sweat it long enough. Besides, now I'm cooled down enough to realize I acted like a giant jackass. Even Steve would have known better. My stomach clenches, worry and irritation battling it out._

_I'm about to walk out when Soda walks in, Two-Bit behind him, smelling like he bathed in a bucket of beer. _

_Soda eyes my jacket. "Hey, Dar! Where you off to at this hour?"_

"_Hot date?" Two-Bit asks. "Lady of the evening?"_

"_Two-Bit, how many six-packs did you slurp down tonight?" I chuckle and turn to answer my brother. "I gotta go get Pony," I say, shrugging my jacket on. "He called me about 30 minutes ago from Burnham. He went to that party and now he can't find a ride—" _

"_Why are you just now leaving?"_

"_Thought it'd be good for him to find his own ride home."_

_Soda shakes his head like there's water in his ears. "Um, you did what?"_

"_C'mon, Soda. He's gotta learn. He ain't listening to me anymore and it's gotta stop. This nonsense with college…"_

"_So you just…just left our brother out there in BFE?"_

"_Soda, I ain't gonna argue—"_

"_Shit! I'll go pick him up if he's so much fuckin trouble for you." Soda snatches the keys from my hand and storms out the front door, hollering, "Two-Bit, you coming?"_

_Almost apologetically, Two-Bit slides by me, punching my shoulder. "Boys will be boys…" He shuts the door softly behind him. _

XxX

I let out the biggest exhale of relief when I pull into the driveway. Ponyboy's on the front porch, trying to get himself in. He fumbles with the door, drops something and then his face screws up. He kneels down, shoulders sagging. Soda and I slam our doors and are on the porch before he realizes it. We both squat next to him, seeing what's delayed him.

Books.

Books everywhere.

"Are you okay?" Soda asks, squinting at Ponyboy in the dim light.

Ponyboy murmurs something low and then says, "Just help me, will ya?"

I grab two of the books, which seem to weigh 5 tons, and Soda piles two into his own arms, standing up to kick the front door open, making way for Pony and us to enter. When we're inside, Soda flicks the light.

I wish I could stick my hands in my pockets but the books stop me. Instead, I just hold them awkwardly in my arms. "Kiddo, I—"

"I waited for you – for hours." Pony fixes his green eyes on me. "What happened? You forget about me?"

"Kiddo, picking you up just…just slipped my mind." The apology seems lost as Ponyboy's jaw tightens and he glares at me. I'm not good at this and the hurt look on Pony's face makes me feel even worse.

Soda jumps in. "We were out lookin for you, Pone. Figured you made it home yourself when we couldn't find you after awhile."

Ponyboy's eyes move to Soda, flicker once, and then move back to me. "Yeah, some guy took pity on me and let me hitch a ride."

"You hitchhiked?" I can't help it. "Pone, you know how—"

"Look, what did you want me to do? I didn't have any change to call Two-Bit or anyone else and I sure didn't feel like waiting around anymore for you."

"Ponyboy I'm sor—"

Pony sighs, shaking his head. "I'm tired; I just want to go to bed."

XxX

Pardon typos.

Many thanks for reading and the reviews. Please keep at it.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders. SE Hinton does.

Thank you for all the reviews. Much appreciated.

IV. Hold On You

XxX

The next morning I get up, take a shower and have a quick smoke on the porch. Darry's inside tidying the house up; not even bothering to call me to breakfast.

Soda sticks his head out the screen door. "Kiddo, you hungry?"

"Nah, I'll eat later."

"Remember," Soda says, joining me on the porch, the bright morning sunlight making him squint, "Mrs. Burrows is stopping by at six tonight."

"How's my eye look?" Worried, I tilt my head to give him a better view.

Soda purses his lips, frowning. "It's still bruised. Don't worry kiddo; Darry has a plan for that."

I scrutinize Soda's mischievous grin, not liking what it implies. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." Glancing back towards the screen door, Soda says, "I think Darry's cleaning up right now but just make sure Two-Bit doesn't get his hands on the house before then."

I nod; the last Friday of the month signals our monthly visits from the State. "You think Darry needs a reminder to show up tonight?" I ask, trying to keep a smile off my face.

Soda snickers. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." He pats his pockets for a smoke, coming up empty-handed. Seeing that he can't find any, I reach over to hand him my pack. He takes a stick out and holds it without lighting it.

"You know, Darry's really sorry….He just wasn't thinking last night." Even though Soda says it, it doesn't sound like my brother feels like sticking up for Darry at the moment.

"Yeah," I snort, ashing my smoke. "And how come when I "don't think" I get the verbal lashing of the century?" Soda just looks at me and I grin. "It's okay; I'm used to it by now."

"He's just worried about you. We both are. Ya'll been fighting so much…"

"You ain't gotta be. It's not all Darry's fault. I messed up."

Soda reaches over to pat my leg. "He'll lay off. He's gotta learn to apologize too." He gives me an odd sideways glance and I realize Soda's probably still more upset with Darry than I am.

The screen door slams, announcing Darry's arrival and Soda drops his unlit smoke. "Soda, we better git," Darry says, slinging his jacket over his shoulder. Soda hops down the steps and as Darry passes me he says, "See you at five, Ponyboy."

I give him a wave goodbye and Soda looks over his shoulder to wink at me.

XxX

Soda looks none too happy, climbing in the truck. Sighing, I pull my ride away from the curb, heading to the DX. Soda's eyes are still on Ponyboy who's on the porch, smoke lingering in a cloud above his head. I swear my brother can sometimes zone out the world.

I grip the steering wheel, getting a hold on myself before I chicken out. "Okay, tell me," I say, causing Soda to make eye contact. "What do I do with him?"

"First of all, no yelling."

"I told you—"

"Yeah, yeah," Soda says. "I know."

"What do you want me to say, Sodapop? He just don't listen. He fights with me so much I'm starting to think he enjoys it."

"You know, I can't blame him Darry. You can't even say you're sorry to the poor kid."

It's like a punch to my gut. I remember our last big fight – the talk at the park; Ponyboy young and confused, Soda stressed, all of us promising to work at _us_. Soda was right then and he's right now. Somewhere along the way I just forgot.

"Soda…I am sorry."

Soda arches a brow. "Well, you sure got a funny way of showing it." When I'm silent he slugs my shoulder. "Just be _nice, _Darry."

"I won't yell," I mutter.

Soda laughs. "You got two ears ain't you, Darry? Listen to him."

XxX

I don't leave the porch for a long time. It's nice and hot and mellow and I sit out there, smoking cigarette after cigarette until I get bored and mosey inside. The house is spic and span, with nothing left for me to clean. Darry still gets pretty jumpy the day of the whole State Inspection thing.

We all do.

I grab the books that Darry's stacked into a nice and tidy pile on the kitchen table and head back out.

I flop in the chair, feeling lame that I'd rather be doing nothing else than partying with my books right about now. I eye the sun in the sky and estimate it to be about noon. I light another smoke. "I really got to get a job or something this summer," I moan thinking of the two months of freedom awaiting me with nothing fun to do.

Seeing as how it's given me nothing but trouble since I've checked it out, I pick up Moby Dick. It's long, probably the longest book I've ever read. Starting at the back of the book, I brush the pages with my thumb, flipping through the words, the print. When I get to the front I see the scribble on the inside.

_SOS. 310-654-2100. Joey._

That's when I remember my ride from last night…

XxX

_My side hurts something awful and of course, with nothing to do, my imagination gets the better of me. I'll bleed out into the gutter and then won't Darry really feel awful? Maybe I won't even go home, go crash at Curly's and wait it out until morning, make Darry worry._

_But I know I won't do any of those things. I'm tired and I hurt and I just really want a ride. _

"_This is bullshit," I mutter, still seething about Darry's refusal to come pick me up. What's even worse is that Darry was right. I never should have gone to the party. I touch my swollen eye, wincing under the pressure. _

_No one's answered at Two-Bit's or Steve's house and I'm slowly trudging up the street, giving into the idea that I may actually have to walk the 30 miles home when the squeal of tires make me turn around. _

"_Ponyboy!" _

_It's Darry's truck but it's Soda and Two-Bit who are inside. They're idling on the curb, blocking a fire hydrant. Relieved, I limp up to the passenger's side. The window's rolled down and Two-Bit's grinning like a damn fool, no doubt a witty retort on his mind, but then draws back. "Shit kid, who gave you that shiner?" _

"_A bunch of Socs that's who." I rip the passenger door open and Two-Bit scoots out, helping me inside. I plop in the middle and Two-Bit hops back in, bookending me between him and Sodapop. _

_Soda's gaping at me. "Jesus, Ponyboy. What happened?" He examines my eye, his long fingers tilting my head back to get a better look. _

"_I guess I didn't duck," I tell him dryly. I shake him off. "Look, I'm okay, Sodapop. Just sore." _

"_I oughta kill those little bastards," Soda snaps, throwing the car into drive and peeling out into the street. His face is dark like the night sky surrounding us. _

_Not used to seeing Soda so serious, I give him a grin. "Could have used you there for back-up." My brother barely glances at me, pressing the gas so hard the MPH's keep climbing. _

_Two-Bit slugs my arm. "I thought you had skills, kid." He cocks his head, long sideburns trailing down his face. "Hope you got a few good shots in there."_

_I nod, thinking of the missing tooth left behind in the gutter. I sink down into the seat and cross my arms. "Yeah. Yeah, I did." _

_Soda shakes his head, taking another look at me. "I can't believe him. I can't goddamn believe him." And I know he's talking about Darry. _

XxX

Pardon typos.

Please review.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: In the last chapter I made an error. The area code should be 415 not 310. I inadvertently pulled one from the 90's. My mistake. Thanks to Meadowgirl for calling it to my attention. I tried updating the chapter but not sure it took.

Disclaimers: SE Hinton owns the Outsiders. Minor swearing.

Please review. Much appreciated.

V. Don't You Want to Share the Guilt?

XxX

"Curtis!" Jay hollers. "You gonna stand there all day looking at that roofin or are you gonna move your ass?"

"I got it!"

I shake out of my daze and pick up the pile of lumber, shouldering it and hauling it to its rightful spot. My concentration's worth shit today and even though I'd like to blame Ponyboy, I can only blame myself.

My talk with Soda helped some, making me see what an ass I've been, which isn't really a big relief in retrospect. Ponyboy's no angel but he's a good kid and I just forget that sometimes. With two boys—one to raise and one to keep an eye on—I can't believe we're almost there. Soda's 18, free to do what he wants; Pony nearly 16.

I see the itch in Pony's eyes and it scares me something fierce. Hell, I had it. I thought I was too cool for mom and my brothers, only wanting to play football with my buddies and hunt with my dad. Now my little brother has it and I wish to hell I knew what to say to him. My dad's not around to tell me to put my foot down or ease up. I have my instinct and that's about it.

I drop the lumber, straighten up and wipe my brow. I eye the sun high in the sky. The long hours at work have been taking their toll on me although with Soda's promotion to Shop Foreman and my own promotion we're finally doing alright.

I shake off my thoughts and get to work. The next time I look at the sky, it's stormy, the sun masked by gray clouds. There's a hiss behind me and suddenly Two-Bit's sauntering up to me, holding a rolled up paper bag.

"It's about time you crawled out of bed," I say, checking my watch.

His eyes dart around. "I got your stash, man." He grips the paper bag close to his chest. "Don't let the fuzz see, we'll get the slammer for su—"

"Give me that, Two-Bit."

Shrugging, Two-Bit tosses the bag to me and I catch it with one hand. "Fine. Don't method act. See if I care."

I shake my head, opening the bag. "I don't even want to know what that is." I grin, looking inside at the contents. "Thanks, Two-Bit."

"Thank Kathy. She put up quite the fight surrendering her make-up. Believe me she needs it with those dark circles. I keep telling her to stop working nights but apparently she loves changing bedpans." Two-Bit flexes his bicep, wincing in mock agony. "She really packs a punch."

"I'm surprised that's all she hit." I pull the tube from the bag and grimace, shaking the flesh colored liquid.

Two-Bit wiggles his eyebrows, propping a hand on one of his hips. "I really think Ponyboy will make a pretty girl."

Snorting, I ball the bag up, gripping it in my fist. "As long as this covers up his black eye I don't really care."

XxX

Bored at the house, I grab Darry's duffel bag, sling my book into it and take off for the lake. It's a nice day out and I'm not gonna waste it on the porch.

I take the short way; cutting through yards, heading in the direction of school and then detouring through the small grove of trees that line the outskirts of town. I duck through the gnarled branches, coming out on the other side of a rocky bank. I slide once, catch myself and then run down the sloping earth.

The lake is large, glistening in the afternoon sunlight. I choose a spot under some trees and pull out my book. Lying on my back, I prop the duffel bag under my head as a makeshift pillow. The phone number catches my eye as I open _Moby-Dick_ and I wonder what city the area code is from.

Then I'm reading about Ishmael, a whaling voyage and before I know it, I'm asleep.

I dream about Johnny and Dally and the strangest things. Everything's black and white, hazy almost, like you're underwater. They're in the park where Bob was killed, standing in the fountain. The fountain is drained, nothing but cement in it. Dallas is holding a handful of darts. Johnny's smoking but the cigarette is unlit and snow white. No one says anything; I put my hand out, palm facing Dally and he aims a dart. I'm not frightened; I wait for it and when he throws the dart it pierces its target.

When I pull my palm back to inspect it, instead of a dart, the letters SOS are stitched into my hand. Curious, I touch the raised lettering and before I can figure out their meaning, they crack and crumble.

And all that I'm left holding in my hands is dust.

The dream disappears as something wet hits my face. I open my eyes to see that the sky's clouded up, blackness brewing above. My breath hitches and I sit up fast, the dream the last thing on my mind. I check my watch and exhale in relief; it's only four. I thank my lucky stars I haven't overslept – that'd be the last thing Darry and I need. Scrambling, I grab my book and my bag and get the hell out of there.

The run to the house refreshes me.

Halfway back, the sky opens up, letting loose. Thick drops pelt me and without a jacket I get soaked. I pull the duffel back closer to my body and pick up the pace, my tennis shoes smacking puddles, splashing water all around. It feels good to run and I let myself go.

I decide to take the back way home, darting through the alleyway and skirting through Mr. Hanson's yard. The thorny bushes lining his perimeter scratch my arms as I slide through them. I hop over the edge of his lawn, my house now in sight, and dart into the street at the exact moment Darry's pulling into the driveway.

I slow my pace as he exits, watching me shamble up to him. "Hey, Dar."

"Hey kiddo, where were you? I tried calling before I came home." He slams the truck's door shut, a brown bag clenched in his fist. Yet, he doesn't sound irritated, just curious.

"I uh—I went to the lake. Took a book."

Darry eyes the duffel bag. "Anything good in there?"

I give him a tentative smile. "_Moby-Dick_."

"I think I read that in school." Darry chuckles. "Or tried to at least. That book's as thick as a brick."

"Shoot, you're telling me. Try luggin it across town." I go to laugh and end up sneezing. I sniffle and push wet hair out of my face.

Darry places a hand on my shoulder, firmly steering me toward the house. "C'mon Pone, let's get you inside and get you dry."

XxX

Soda shows up right as I'm putting the finishing touches on Ponyboy's eye. "Would you look at this?" Soda whistles. "My kid brother in make-up. It just ain't right, Dar."

"Shut up, Soda," Ponyboy sighs at the same time I snap, "Soda, what do you want me to do?"

I'm not in the mood; the social worker arrives in about 15 minutes and I don't even want to take the chance of her seeing the black eye, let alone thinking one of us gave it to him.

Soda squats down next to the couch and squints at Ponyboy. "Girls really wear this stuff?"

"Darry, it smells funny," Ponyboy says, his face scrunching up, making him look about all of 10 years old.

I try and keep a smile off my face. "Yeah, it sure does. Now hold still, I'm almost done." The gummy cover-up is coating my fingers and I tilt Pony's head back and apply one last dab near his temple. The bruise is a yellow-blue, almost green and still hanging around. I blend the liquid in and sit back to inspect.

It worked. Pony's eye has an odd flesh-colored tinge to it but it there's no trace of his fading black eye and I'll take it.

"Good?" Pony asks.

"Good," I tell him.

XxX

Mrs. Burrows caps her pen and smiles at me across the table. She's an older woman, in her 50's and the first decent Social Worker we've had in a long time. She's strict but she likes us at least.

"Well," she says, shoving the notes she's taken into her briefcase, "All looks well here." She glances at Darry, who is leaning against the counter, arms crossed against his chest in typical fashion. "You're doing a good job." She eyes Sodapop. "You too."

"Thank you ma'am," Darry says. Mrs. Burrows stands and Darry reaches out to shake her hand. "Same time next month?"

The older woman cackles good-naturedly, letting Darry lead her to the door. "Oh, you can bet on it, Mr. Curtis." Soda and I follow them into the living room.

Stopping in front of the screen door, Mrs. Burrows turns to me. "You're almost 16 aren't you?" Without waiting for a response she smiles broadly. "You got this one for two more years," she tells Darry, laughing as if she's just made a joke.

"That I do."

And Darry smiles; it's soft and genuine, making me really want to give my brother a hug at the moment. I must be staring because Darry glances my way. I duck my head, embarrassed.

Mrs. Burrows cackles once more, pats her briefcase and says goodbye to us, giving Soda an extra long smile. When she's gone and the door's shut, I tug at Soda's arm, grinning. "She loves you."

Darry barks out a laugh. "Cut it out, Ponyboy," Soda scoffs, his face turning red. He shakes me off, ruffling my hair as I scoot to the bathroom, ready to wash the make-up off my eye.

"C'mon, help me with dinner, lover boy," I hear Darry tell Sodapop.

Smiling, I dip my head and splash icy water on my face, scrubbing gently. As I turn off the faucet, the memory of the dream hits me. I look at my hands, the water dripping off of them and landing on the tile in little beaded puddles, my palms shiny and flat.

XxX

I help Soda with the dishes after dinner. He's chattering so much about his and Steve's Friday night out that I finally tell him to let me finish the dishes and to go. There's only so much about poker I want to know about.

The washing becomes almost mechanical, the hot water, the bubbles, the plates in my hand that I barely hear Darry behind me until he clears his throat. "Glory, Dar." I twist around. "You sure like sneakin up on people don't ya?"

"Sorry."

"It's okay…"

I shrug, going back to the dishes when Darry says, "No, Pony. I'm sorry about—about yesterday. About not picking you up. I didn't mean to forget, kiddo."

"That's okay too. I know you're busy. I made it home." I give him a smile to let him know I really mean it. I smirk inside; it can't be easy for Darry to apologize.

Then, Darry moves to sit down at the kitchen table, wiping his hands on his jeans. He's got that look on his face, that awkward, uncomfortable look that means we're probably going to have a conversation I'm not going to like.

I wait for it. Family's funny. One minute you love them so much, everything's so good – like it was earlier with Darry and I; the next minute you can't wait until you're away from them and you wonder if you're even related anymore.

"So…" Darry says. He stops, frowns and then continues. "I know you're confused about college and…I…get that or trying to at least. But…I really think it would be a good idea to get some research in this summer. You're aimin to get a scholarship." Darry's voice is stilted, like he practiced the speech in the mirror a few times.

I keep my hands in the water, not budging from the sink, hoping it will keep me anchored. "Okay…"

"I just want what's best for you. You oughta give it a shot."

"Okay, sure, Darry. I'll research colleges." I nod, knowing it won't hurt. If it will help, I'll do it. I reach over to grab a bowl resting on the counter and dunk it in the sink.

Pleased, Darry grins and stands up. He squeezes my shoulder. "Thanks, kiddo."

And he should leave it at that. He should walk out of the kitchen and sit in his recliner, maybe crack a beer open, watch a football game. Instead, he continues, saying, "You just can't mope around here all summer—"

I raise an eyebrow, bristling at the unfair insult. "Who's moping?"

"Jesus Ponyboy, all I'm saying is that maybe you can get focused on school and—"

"Darry, I brought home straight A's this semester!" Darry's frowning like I've just told him I'm joining the circus. "I mean, what else do you want from me? I'd offer you my liver but somehow don't think that's gonna cut it either."

"Hold up," Darry says. "I'm trying to talk to you and you keep making smartass comments."

"Darry, I just want a break. For the summer." I utter a small laugh. "You know? That's why it's called summer break."

Darry doesn't so much crack a smile. "Sometimes I don't know what's going through your head. For such a smart kid…" He trails off but I know what he wants to say.

"Glory, Dar, you'll never listen to me." I shake my head and go back to the dishes. I feel Darry staring at my back for a long moment and then he turns to go, heavy footsteps thudding down the hall.

My heart's pounding in my chest. Angry and distracted, I reach over to grab the wrong end of a filet knife. Before I realize what I've done, the pain causes me to instinctively tighten around the blade and then jerk away, the blade slicing right down my soapy palm. It hits the floor with a clatter.

"Shit," I hiss, gripping my right wrist with my left hand. I spread my palm open as wide as I can to inspect the damage. I can't tell how deep the cut is but it stings like hell. The blood from the cut begins to run down my wrist to my elbow, showing no signs of slowing.

"Darry!" I holler, really wanting my brother at the moment. I grab for a towel, knocking the salt and pepper off the counter in the hurried process. I scowl at the salt, thinking more bad luck is in my future.

Darry's voice, irritated and rough, floats into the kitchen. "Ponyboy, what—" Darry blanches when he sees me and has my hand in his own before I know it. He pulls the towel away, wincing. "Aw, shit, Ponyboy…" He twists my palm gently.

"It's not that bad, Dar, it just won't quit bleeding."

Replacing the towel, Darry holds it tight against my palm. He doesn't say much more, the tension surrounding us momentarily eased. We wait in the kitchen, until the blood clots and then Darry disinfects the cut and wraps it tight in gauze. He tells me it's late and that I should go to bed and when I turn off the light in my bedroom and shut the door, I hear the creak of his footsteps outside in the hallway making sure I'm okay.

XxX

Hope you enjoyed the friggin longest chapter ever.

Pardon typos.

Please review – many thanks abound.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimers: SE Hinton owns The Outsiders. Cursing involved.

Uber-thanks for the read and reviews. Appreciated always. Please spread the love and keep it up.

XxX

VI. Help Me, Help You

XxX

"Darry!" Soda shouts, barreling outside. He's wearing goggles and holding a spatula. "Did you get groceries?"

"I did," Ponyboy murmurs. He's sitting on the front step, nose stuck in _Moby-Dick_. "I got 'em a few days ago while you guys were working."

"Did you buy burger?"

"Yep. It's defrosted."

Soda shoots Pony a grin before ducking back inside. Although I doubt our brother sees it, his eyes still on the book in front of him. But they're not moving across the words and I have a feeling he's deep in thought about something. He turns a page with his bandaged hand.

Steve sidles over, waving the football in front of my face. "We on for a game?" He sets a six-pack of Miller High Life on the porch, his contribution to the day. "Only the best."

I chuckle. Lately, every other Saturday or so has turned into a BBQ-Football game. It's the closest thing to a tradition any of us have. I open the grill, checking the coals. "As soon as we eat."

"Where's Soda?"

"Inside working his magic on the burgers." Frowning, I eye the front door. "Let's hope he doesn't add cinnamon again."

Steve grimaces. "Someone really needs to cut him off." Steve pulls a lighter from his pocket, handing it to me. I use it to light the coals and he nods at Ponyboy. "Soda says he don't want to go to college no more?"

I keep my voice low, calm. "Yeah, he's been talking some nonsense." I eye Steve. "What's it to you?"

Steve's dark eyes flick back and forth. "I just hear Soda talkin is all." He shrugs. "I could give two shits." He shrugs and goes inside to join Sodapop, the screen door clacking behind him.

"Can I borrow that?"

I glance down at the sound behind me. Ponyboy's jutting his chin my way, a cigarette sticking out between his lips. "Steve's lighter."

I toss him the lighter and he snatches it with his good left hand. "How's your hand, Pone?"

"Just sore," he says, making a fist and wincing. "That's all. Don't worry about it."

Pony turns away from me and I stab the coals with the tongs, wishing I knew the right thing to say to my brother…

XxX

_When Soda brings him through the front door, he gives me an _I-told-you-so _frown. _

"_Jesus Christ." I take a move toward my youngest brother. His right eye's black, a faint bruise dusting his cheekbone._ _He's standing in the middle of the room in a rumpled t-shirt and faded blue jeans; all skinny limbs and mussed brown hair. "Ponyboy, are you alright?"_

"_Oh, I'll live," he shoots back. Soda and Two-Bit hover in the entryway; Soda's face matching Ponyboy's. I blink; it's an odd time to realize the two of them could double for each other but at that moment I do. _

"_C'mere, I want to look at that eye of yours." Ponyboy doesn't budge and I stick an arm out, grabbing his shirt. "Ponyboy…"_

_He jerks away. _"_Leave me alone! Just don't touch me!" __And he yells. It's loud and I've never heard him yell like that before. Not even when he's been in trouble. It's adult and disappointed. Ponyboy's face is red, his mouth a thin, white line. Even Soda is stunned at his outburst. _

_Two-Bit jumps in. "I'll look at it, kid. C'mon, let me." He wraps an arm around Pony's shoulder. Pony doesn't shake him off which irritates me further. _

"_Who did this?" I snap._

_Pony's stare is hard. "Don't worry; it happened before I called you for a ride. You're in the clear."_

"_Hey, don't be a smartass. I'm just trying to help—"_

"_Some Socs from the party jumped him tonight, Dar," Soda explains. "His ride left."_

_I eye Ponyboy. "I told you that you shouldn't have gone and look what happened..." A choking sound comes from left field and I realize that Sodapop is gawking like I've went crazy._

_Pony draws back, his face pale, the black eye a beacon. "You're blaming me?" He pulls away from Two-Bit. "I get the living shit kicked out of me and it's my fault?" _

"_No, but Ponyboy, Jesus, I told you that party was bad news and you still went…" __I want to say a lot of things to my brother right then. Yelling sounds good, grounding his ass sounds better. I want to give him a hug and shake some sense into the stubborn kid I have no idea how to raise. __Instead, I say, "Ponyboy, what am I gonna do with you? You can't seem to listen to a lick of sense anyone offers you and you get yourself into these messes you can't stay away from."_

_Pain crosses Pony's face for a brief second before it's replaced with anger. "Jesus, Darry! I get it; I'm a screw up, a pain in the ass. You don't have to keep reminding me." _

"_Kiddo, I'm not—"_

"_Well, you know what," Pony draws himself up and takes a step towards me. "You ain't much better. You're a big—"_

"_Oh! Oh, oh, oh, hey now!" Two-Bit takes a quick jump forward, grabbing Ponyboy by the shoulders. "Let's not fight dirty, kids. Relax." _

_I point at my brother, afraid if he or I say anything more we'll regret it. "Go to bed, Ponyboy. And stay there. Right now." _

_Two-Bit wraps a hand around Pony's bicep tugging him in the direction of the hallway. "C'mon, kid. Your face must hurt something awful. Let me work my magic…" He gives another tug, finally managing to drag Pony to the bathroom. "Let's go." _

_My brother gives me one last glare, the bathroom door slams and then Sodapop really lets it rip. _

XxX

"War wound?" Two-Bit asks, squatting on the step beside me, holding a beer. He nods at my hand. "What happened?"

"Something stupid," I shake my head and shut my book. Then, I open it back up, to the inside front page. "Hey, Two-Bit, you know area code?"

So far today I've asked everyone; Darry and Soda had no clue and Steve suggested France and then snatched his lighter back before taking off for a beer. Surprisingly, Two-Bit knows. "Yeah, it's California." He takes a sip of his brew. "My aunt lives in San…San Something. Haven't seen her in a while…" He shrugs. "Think she's still out there. Somewhere over the rainbow."

Draining his beer, Two-Bit, crumples the can and tosses it into the front yard. "You gonna play some ball?"

"I guess."

"That's not the Saturday Attitude we need today, Ponyboy Curtis." There's a long pause and Two-Bit sighs. "You and Darry get into it again?"

"It's just getting really bad," I admit to Two-Bit. "Like we _really_ can't stand each other now..."

"Well…sounds like the two of you need a break. Maybe you could…"

Suddenly trailing off, Two-Bit's eyes follow the football that flies overtop of us. Soda hollers something in the background and then Steve's laughing. Suddenly, a baseball shoots past the house and there's the smack of it against a glove.

I glance at my friend, a little light flickers on in my head. "Hey, Two-Bit…"

Before I can say anything more, Two-Bit claps his hands together, stands up and looks down at me. "C'mon kid. Put the book down and let's go play with some balls."

XxX

Instead of dreaming that night, I lay awake and think; staring at the ceiling and the long white cracks it houses. My brain's spinning a mile a minute and I swear if I could get a job in thinking I'd be a millionaire by now.

I'm scared. I'm scared of my life. And I don't even know how to express it to anyone. Darry's so gun-ho on me going to college, of getting out of here, I don't have the time to form an opinion for myself.

Darry wants it. Maybe I do too but how the hell should I know. Sighing, I twist onto my side. Sometimes I want to turn 18 so bad so I can hit the road and let my brother's – Darry especially – live their lives. Because I know I'll have _my_ chance.

I don't know what's going on and it's not an excuse. I'm tense and antsy, wanting something different. It's lousy of me, giving Darry shit all the time but sometimes my mouth opens and whatever pops out Darry obviously ain't too fond of. I'm just really sick of seeing him as a parent. I miss my brother. And it's not his fault; he's done better than expected with Soda and I. He's a lifesaver. If it weren't for him I'd be in some boy's home, probably pissed at the world.

Soda keeps snoring and I roll onto my back again. Two-Bit's words haven't left me since the afternoon: _Well…sounds like the two of you need a break_.

A break sounds nice. In fact, a break sounds so good, I start thinking about faraway places and different faces and soon a fitful sleep follows.

XxX

One night later, Soda sticks his head into the room. It's nine at night, Darry's on a date and I've holed myself up in the bedroom. "Whatcha doin, kiddo?"

I gesture at _Moby-Dick_, stifling a yawn. "Getting through this book."

Soda props a hand in the door frame and raises a mischievous brow. I close my book; I know his look by now. "What, Sodapop?"

"Wanna go to The Pass?"

"You know I do."

XxX

The Pass is a deserted stretch of land on the outskirts of town where no-good deeds take place. It's rocky, it's dusty and every Sunday it hosts the local drag races. Soda and Steve don't go often but when they're bored with poker they go see the cars.

All kinds of kids are milling about; Socs, Greasers, Hippies, Girls. It's a big deal. Besides I'm glad to get out of the house and spend some time with my brother. Although, it doesn't look like I'm going to get much talking in tonight. Soda's hanging on the fence that looks out onto the field. His leg's bouncing and his eyes are hyped. Next to him, Steve's smoking, chatting up another kid with a '65 Impala.

"So, uh, Sodapop," I begin, sounding like we're two strangers who never speak. "How're you doin?"

"I'm great, kiddo, why're you asking?" Soda gives me a quizzical smile, slapping my back. "Is everything ok with you?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm fine." Two Mustangs gun their engines and Soda's eyes are diverted to the race. I wait until they take off, screaming down the lane, to say, "Soda – I sure am sorry Darry and I've been fighting so much. I know it ain't no picnic."

"It's okay, kiddo." He smiles again and then says something low to Steve. They both laugh and Steve points at a girl across the way. Soda shakes his head, chuckling. I stare at him, feeling my jaw clench, as he turns back to the race. Soda keeps shoveling his feelings under the rug even when I try and talk to him. Either that or he just really doesn't care. It's stupid, but I want him to know that he matters too.

"Shit!" Steve screeches as the black Mustang passes the red one. Soda swears under his breath.

I grab Soda's shoulder, shaking it. "But Sodapop, it's not okay and I've been thinking—" I drop my hand, seeing that Soda's too engrossed in the race to give a damn about what I'm saying. To him, it's the same-old, same-old: Darry and me and our excuses. Resigned that nothing will get settled at The Pass, I plop onto the damp grass, wishing I had brought my book and a flashlight.

"What's that, Stranger?"

A coarse voice catches my attention and turning I see that the guy is talking. Beside me on the lawn, a haggard hippie sits, smoking a cigarette. Without asking, he hands me his beer and I take a long sip.

"Thanks, man."

"I dig ya, kid."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You want to blow this joint, don't ya?"

It makes sense that only a perfect stranger would get me. "Yeah," I tell him. "I want to get the hell out of dodge."

The Hippie won't let me return his beer, pushing it back into my hands. "Don't we all, Stranger. Don't we all."

XxX

Pardon typos.

Please R&R.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimers: SE Hinton owns the Outsiders. Cursing below.

Thanks for the reads, the reviews and as always, coming with me on a harebrained story. Many thanks.

Please review.

XxX

VII. The Gambler

XxX

I'm already half asleep when Soda brings us home from The Pass. And I don't know if Soda's in denial or oblivious but since I'm finding no hope in talking with my brother tonight I hit the sack and dream.

Hard.

This time Darry's at the park. He stands far away from Johnny and Dallas, wearing an expression that scares me. I can't read it, no matter how hard I stare at him. It's just blank.

I cross the park and the fountain begins to fill with water. Johnny and Dal step out, walk off into the distance and disappear while Darry's still standing there.

"Darry!" I holler, my voice lingering in the air. My brother doesn't move and as I begin to run it's as if I'm on a conveyor belt moving backwards. It's endless, the going nowhere. Finally, I kick my legs and am running forward again.

I reach my brother. The black water's to his waist. "Darry!" I put a hand out, grab his shoulder and only when I realize it's cold, stone; that Darry's a statue, do I holler again.

XxX

I stab the cigarette out in the sink, running the water to rinse the ash down the drain. I shouldn't be smoking in the house but needed one after the dream to calm my nerves. Opening the medicine cabinet, I spritz some of Soda's cologne around the bathroom, grimacing at the musky smell.

I sit down on the edge of the bathtub and rub my eyes. Somehow while trying to analyze the—nightmare? dream?—the Hippie from The Pass floats into my mind.

_You want to blow this joint, don't ya?_

_Yeah…I want to get the hell out of dodge._

An inkling of an idea begins to brew…put there by Two-Bit suggesting I need a break from Darry. But then when I _really_ think, _really_ put a picture to it, the signs have been there all along. Piling up like a landslide.

I think of Joey and his long-distance phone number scrawled in _Moby-Dick_. Of California, my need to get-up-and-go, the feeling of not belonging. Of the strange Hippie and his words of wisdom…

I think.

I think…

I think I've been waiting all this time to go somewhere I could never find.

XxX

Pony's asleep. Curled into himself, a mess of blankets piled on top.

I give him one last glance and tug the bedroom door shut tight. Late last night, I thought I heard him hollering in his sleep. After the first yell, I stayed in bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for the second yell that never came.

I find Soda in the kitchen wolfing down a bowl of cereal. "Soda, did Pony have a nightmare last night?"

Soda shakes his head. "Ain't sure, Dar. I heard him tossing and turning a few times but that's about it. If he did, he was quiet about it."

Taking a sip of coffee, I wince. It's lukewarm and I dump it down the sink, setting the mug on the counter. "How was The Pass?"

"Fun. Loud." Soda shovels the last of the cereal in his mouth, adding his bowl to Ponyboy's growing collection of dishes to do. "You oughta go sometime, Dar."

Smirking, I check my watch and make for the door, seeing Two-Bit bounce up the steps. "I'll be sure to pencil that one in."

XxX

"Afternoon pardner," Two-Bit swaggers, tipping an invisible hat. I shuffle out of the bedroom, yawning, still in PJ's. He sets a plastic sack on the seat of Darry's recliner.

I raise an eyebrow. "Make it out of bed today?"

He scoffs. "I make it out of bed every day. Only this time I'm sober." Two-Bit points at my bare feet. "I oughta ask you the same thing."

"Hey, this is my house. I can do what I want. Sleeping in until 10 counts." I scratch my head, glancing around the house. "Darry leave?"

"Yup, saw him on my way in. He says to do the dishes, Cinderella."

"Sure," I murmur absentmindedly. I know what I want to do…just unsure as to how or if to tell Darry. I eye Two-Bit, wondering if he can give me some advice. He's always been the best at finding loopholes.

"So, kid, what's on the agenda today besides laundry? A not-so-quick trip to the library?"

Laughing, I give Two-Bit a shove. "Hilarious, Two-Bit." I grab the sack and sit in the recliner, rummaging through its contents: a six-pack of Budweiser, some beef jerky, a _Playboy_, a liter of Pepsi and some SnoBalls. I grab the jerky and tear the package open. Handing Two-Bit a stick, I ask, "So where'd you scrounge up the dough for all this stuff?"

"Nowhere."

"Aw, c'mon Two-Bit…"

Two-Bit, chewing thoughtfully on the stick of jerky, says, "You can't tell anyone kid…"

"What? You bump off a liquor store?"

"I mean it, Ponyboy."

"Oh, I get it. You got a job…" I grin. "You're embarrassed you actually have to work for once in your life."

"Shit no!" Two-Bit scoffs. "Believe me, when I am finally employed, the whole world will hear. I'll shout it from the rooftops." I raise an eyebrow and he swallows his hunk of jerky. "I won a poker game – made 75 bucks."

I whistle. "That's a lot of money, Two-Bit." I frown. "You didn't cheat did you?"

"Never!" Two-Bit clasps a hand across his heart, staggering backwards to fall on the sofa. "You hurt me with your question, Saint Ponyboy. I leave cheating to your fine, upstanding older brother Sodapop." He throws his feet on the sofa without bothering to take off his shoes. "Nope. Won it fair and square."

"So, then why can't I tell anyone…?"

"To keep the element of surprise. If people know I can play poker…it's all over!" Moaning, Two-Bit throws an arm across his eyes.

"Like James Bond?"

"Exactly. Like James Bond."

Laughing, I stand up, ready for a shower. "Well, don't go spending it all on this crap, Two-Bit."

"I know," he grunts. "I should have at least bought something useful. Like condoms." He sits up. "Here, Pony, I bought you a present too."

"What?"

Two-Bit reaches under the back of his shirt and tosses me something. I catch the forked Y-shaped frame, look at it and then back at Two-Bit. "A slingshot? What am I supposed to do with this?"

He strokes a long sideburn with his thumb. "Don't worry. I'll think of something, kid."

XxX

I call the house at noon to check on Ponyboy. "Yeah?" Ponyboy barks into the receiver.

"Pony, you don't answer the phone like that."

There's a long beat then he says, "You want me to hang up and you can call back and we can try again?"

"No, I don't want to hang—listen, do you have dinner covered tonight? I have to work overtime and—"

"Yeah, yeah, Dar, sure. No problem." Suddenly, he gasps, pulling the phone back. His voice sounds very far away as he shouts, "Two-Bit! Don't you dare!"

"Pony…" I warn.

"I know, I know. Laundry. Dinner. Control Two-Bit. I gotta go."

XxX

It takes me an hour to clean up the pig-sty of a mess that Two-Bit makes in the house. He sits in the recliner watching me. "Are you gonna help or not?" I snap, in the process of scrubbing melted SnoBall off the side of the fridge. Apparently, SnoBall's double in size when you heat them with a lighter and are fun to slingshot around the house.

Two-Bit sighs. "Well...that would require movement of some sort...and I just...don't care for that."

"You're an ass."

"I try." Two-Bit flips his _Playboy_ open, thumbing through it, watching me over the top. "Kid, you really need to put some elbow grease into that." He chuckles and flips a page. "At least you have all summer to practice your cleaning techniques."

On my knees, I twist around. "Actually, I have another idea. I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh yeah?" Two-Bit asks. Although his eyes are glued to the page and I can tell he's not really into this conversation.

"Yeah." Suddenly feeling shy, I resume my scrubbing, unsure of what to say. "I was thinking of trying to get Darry to let me go somewhere for the summer…"

Two-Bit's doesn't hear me; instead whistling a tune from some cartoon show and tilting the magazine in awkward angles. "Two-Bit." After another moment of silence, I set my rag down, stand up and walk over to him. I snatch the magazine away.

"Hey!"

"Oy vay, kid! What're you doin touchin the merchandise?" He grabs the magazine back. "Ms. July is fragile." He gives it one last look and sets it aside, folding his hands together business-like. "Now what may I help you with?"

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Sadly no."

"I was talking about maybe taking a trip or something this summer…"

Two-Bit begins to laugh. "Oh yeah? For what?"

I think quickly…something Darry would buy. "College research?"

"Uh huh. And just where would you go?"

"Not sure…maybe…California?"

Two-Bit's laugh turns to a frown. "California huh? That's pretty far. Where'd you get that stupid idea?"

"You."

"Me? Kid, I was suggesting something a little more along the lines of avoiding each other for a few days or crashing at my place. Not a cross country road trip. 'Sides, I don't know how you'd get your older bro—"

I smile and Two-Bit immediately rights the recliner into upright position. "Oh no. No, no, no, no. Whatever you're cooking up in that brain of yours cut it out."

"But wouldn't it be swell if I told Darry—"

"I don't hear you!" Two-Bit claps his hands over his ears. "I was just talking shit. I didn't mean any of it!"

"It was your idea!"

"It was a crazed notion with no real meaning behind it. Kind of like Steve dating Evie or Soda attempting to cook. It means nothing!"

"I'm driving Darry crazy, he ain't exactly listening to me – I don't know how to ask—"

Two-Bit groans. "Kid, you may as well get your blindfold and last smoke ready now if you ask Darry. He ain't never gonna go for it."

I toss my hands up. "I know! I know. Look, I ain't planning to lie but I ain't exactly gonna tell him the truth. I just need your help—"

"Forget it, kid. Have you seen those shit kickers Darry wears? I'm not itching to be on the receiving end." Two-Bit's out of the recliner, _Playboy t_ucked under his arm. He sighs, hand on the doorknob. "Look Ponyboy, I'm quite experienced in helping you keep things from your brother and kid, believe me it wasn't a fun time. You dig? You remember that?"

"Yeah, I dig." I barely hear my voice it's that low.

Two-Bit's face truly looks pained as he stares at me. I don't even think he knows what he wants to say. His mouth flaps once and then he says, "Just—just be _smart_, Ponyboy. Whatever—however you do it." He runs a hand through his hair, swears once and then lets the screen door slam in my face.

There's a long silence and then I plop in Darry's recliner, chewing my nail and thinking that I don't blame Two-Bit for running out. I'd do the same thing.

XxX

Pardon typos!

Please review.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimers: SE Hinton owns the Outsiders. Minor cursing in this chapter. Long chapter below so get ready.

Thanks to all who have read, reviewed and are still reading. Please keep it up.

VIII. Careless Love

XxX

"Shit!" Black coffee goes everywhere, hitting my boots and soaking the tile in the break room.

"Jesus, Curtis, what's with you today?" Teddy Daniels raises an eyebrow, chewing on his sandwich.

"Nothing," I mutter, wiping coffee off my jeans. I'm getting as bad as Ponyboy, spilling things. I find a rag and quickly wipe up the mess, tossing the now-soaked rag in the sink. It lands with a plop, murky coffee oozing from it. Teddy watches me for a second, considering. A good pal from work, he's familiar with my situation.

"Youngest brother?"

"You have no idea."

"I can always tell. You get this…this constipated look on your face."

I bark out a laugh and gather up my thermos. "Good to know, Daniels." I crank the faucet on, letting cool water fill my thermos for this afternoon's late shift.

"Man, I feel you. I have three of 'em. Pains in the ass. Although they sure don't seem to give me half as much shit as they do you."

"Ain't that the truth." The instant I say it I regret it. Even though it earns me a chuckle and conspiratorial grin from Teddy I still feel like a traitor.

Wolfing down the last bite of his sandwich, Teddy stands up, chair squeaking as he shoves it out of his way. "Tell you what, you outta come out with us this weekend."

"Where's 'out'?"

"Jerome Lake. Annual camping trip. We go for about three days, fry up the fish, play cards…" Teddy turns the faucet off. "You should come. Get away from your kids."

I roll my eyes and cap my full thermos. "Who says I need to get away?" Although the idea of a camping trip – any kind of trip – is mighty tempting. I haven't been away from my brothers or Two-Bit and Steve for so long sometimes I forget what I'm like without them around.

"Don't give me that bullshit," Teddy says. "You got the time. What's stopping you?"

"I'll think about it," I tell Teddy.

XxX

The closest notion I have of California comes from what little I've read or seen. Darry's copy of "The Carpetbaggers", news broadcasts featuring a street called Haight and another Ashbury, Hippies, Hollywood and most importantly, the ocean.

It may be stupid but something inside tells me I need to see it. I bet it looks a whole lot different than the lake in front of me.

After Two-Bit booked it out of the house earlier, I escaped to the lake, managing to come up with an excuse on my own. Whether or not I'll pull it off remains to be seen.

I've already thought about the most important factor: the social worker – Mrs. Burrows. In the whole year that she's been assigned to us she's never done surprise visits. She always comes the last Friday of every month. It's a risky chance but I'm willing to take it. If she does show up…well, I hope Darry tells her he sent me to camp for the summer.

I don't have too much else thought out. But I'm willing to roll with the punches. Whatever happens, it's on me. I need to go it alone and for once in my life do it right. Maybe find what I want. Or remember who I was. Fix me and Darry.

I lie back on the bank of the rocky lake, a cigarette sticking out from my mouth and take a puff; smoke clouds hovering above my head like halos. The irony makes me chuckle and I don't know why anyone else can't see. Darry wants me to be an adult, Soda sees me as a kid. I'm stuck somewhere in the middle – responsibility and rebelliousness warring.

So far rebelliousness is winning.

I know I'll be in for it once they find out where I really hopped a bus too. I wish I could talk to Soda about this. But lately he seems either unwilling or unable to listen to me.

I get it. We need breaks. Soda's tired. Two-Bit's done. Darry's exhausted.

Heck, so am I…

XxX

_Two-Bit practically drags me in the bathroom, away from Darry. He tosses me against the wall and slams the door shut. I pace the small space. "Calm the hell down, kid," Two-Bit says. "Let Darry cool off and you'll both be fine and dandy." Kneeling, he pulls the first aid kit out from underneath the sink. _

_Outside, I can hear Sodapop hollering at Darry. I'm grateful he's sticking up for me but it sure don't make me feel any better. _

"_So he snuck out to a party? What's the big deal? You gonna be pissed at him for the rest of his life?" Soda's voice shakes. "I remember plenty of times—"_

_Darry's big voice booms throughout the house. "Soda, that don't mean a lick! He didn't listen to either one of us so it's beyond me why you even…"_

_My fists clench and I really want to hit something. Anything. I eye the mirror in front of me and suddenly Two-Bit grabs my wrist. "No, you don't." I must look surprised because he says, "I know you better than you think, Pone." _

_He grins and then so do I. _

_The fight goes out of me and I sit on the edge of the tub, mashing my face in my palms. My voice comes out muffled. "I just don't, can't, will never, ever, win with Darry." _

_A squeaking tells me that Two-Bit has settled on the toilet lid. He sighs. "I betcha you'll win one day." I lift my eyes from my palms and Two-Bit dips his head to catch my gaze. "Only it won't feel as good as you thought it would."_

"_What made you so wise?"_

"_All that beer, kid." Two-Bit rubs his stomach. "All that beer."_

XxX

When I get home the house is unnaturally quiet. And not the quiet where someone's broken something or know they're in for it. It's an eerie type of quiet. I don't mind it so much especially since I hate the first type. Despite the fact that I can yell pretty damn well, I get awful tired of doing it.

Pony's made dinner that much is clear from the plate of cold sandwiches sitting in the middle of the kitchen table. They're covered with Saran Wrap, a white piece of paper resting next to them. Sure it's a note from one of my brother's I call out, making sure no one's home.

"Pony? Sodapop?"

I plop onto the couch, tugging off my work boots, wondering whether or not my father ever felt this way: relieved when he had a minute of peace and quiet. I only saw him as the man happy to see his wife and three boys after coming home from a long day at work. But now, with Pony and Soda my responsibility, plus a full time job on my hands, I'm getting closer to seeing how he might have felt at times.

Tossing my boots into the corner of the room, the clock on the wall catches my attention and I realize I'm later than I should be. It's nearly eight and the thought of going back to work in another few short hours is enough to make me groan.

I think of Teddy Daniels, ready and willing to take him up on his offer.

XxX

I hear the front door creak at about nine. Ponyboy's voice is low, probably talking to Sodapop who's watching TV with Steve in the living room. A few moments later there's a tapping at my bedroom door.

"Hey Pone, it's open," I call out, putting away the last of my laundry that Ponyboy had folded earlier that day.

My youngest brother sticks his head in, giving a slight grin. "Hey, Dar."

"Hey, kiddo. Thanks for doing the laundry."

"No problem."

"How'd you do with Two-Bit today?"

Pony pales slightly, eyeing his tennis shoes. "He made a mess but I sent him running." I chuckle, stuffing a pair of socks into my dresser drawer and notice Pony's still lingering.

"What's going on, Ponyboy? You okay?"

"Sure, Dar…I just had something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Shoot," I say, bracing for an argument.

"Well, I was doing some research on colleges today—"

"You were?"

"Glory, Darry, don't act so surprised." Ponyboy blushes and enters the room, sitting hesitantly on the edge of my bed. "So I had an idea…"

"What kind of idea?"

"Well, I know an old track buddy, he's a freshman at the University of Oklahoma and I was thinking of maybe visiting him over the weekend…to see the college…?"

I'm shocked and pleased, if not a little relieved. Ponyboy gone for the weekend would free me up to go camping with Daniels. Plus, he's actually listened to me for once. I don't know what to make of this except be grateful.

And suspicious.

"What's his name?"

"Who?" Pony blinks.

"The track buddy."

"Oh, Matt Jacobson. He ran varsity."

I nod, filtering through my brain to remember the name. And I do. Matt was on the team, a few years older than Pony, only I don't remember him and my brother being friends but on that I could be wrong.

"Pony…I don't know…"

"C'mon Dar. When you were my age, mom and dad let you go that football camp in Oklahoma City. Besides, it'd only be for a few days," Pony rushes on. "Since it's a long weekend, I figured I could stay through Monday…?" His face is so hopeful, eager and as much as he wants it, I do too. It'd be easy to go away for the weekend, come back and regroup.

I grunt, remembering what I was like at 16. "Pony, I don't want you up there, boozing the weekend away…"

Pony's shaking his head, "No, Darry, I wouldn't. I swear."

"Who would take you? Soda has work and I'm planning—"

"Bus."

"And Matt's ok with this?"

"Yeah, Dar. It'll be like I'm not even there."

"Ok," I say, giving in. "But I want you to be careful." Ponyboy grins an oddly strained smile and slinks off the bed.

"Thanks, Darry. I mean it."

"Pony." I point at him. "I expect you to call and check in with Sodapop. Make sure to leave him the phone number just in case he needs to get in touch with you."

Ponyboy pauses at the door. "What about you? Where're you gonna be?"

The way he says it – so interested and curious as to why I'm leaving – makes my stomach flip,. Guilt hits me for a second but then I shake it off. That's my problem, I worry too much. I always will; just this weekend, I won't.

"Going on a camping trip with some fellas from work."

There's a long pause and Pony finally says, "That'll be fun." Pony gives me another look, bites his lip. "Goodnight, Darry. See ya tomorrow…"

My brother exits the room, shamefaced and I wonder if I've made the right call.

XxX

"Ponyboy…kiddo, wake up."

Darry fades into the darkness, his flesh melting as it disappears. I toss onto my back and only when I feel a hand in my own do I open my eyes. It's warm. Warmer than the dream.

In the dim darkness, I can see Soda giving me a small smile. "Hey, Pony, you were laughing in your sleep. Who told the joke?"

"No one." I cover my eyes, feeling wetness beneath. "Bad dream."

Soda's silent and then he squeezes my shoulder. "You're okay, kiddo."

"I know."

"Do you remember it?"

"Yeah…" The dream brews up in my memory: Darry melting, his stone-body falling into puddles around me while I laughed at him. He, confused and hurt, asking _where_? I had no answer, only stopping my laughter once my hands turned to sand, breaking apart in front of my face.

"I did something. Bad."

Soda's silent and then he brushes my hair back. My forehead's sweaty and the hair sticks, unwilling to be pushed away. It's at this moment my heart pops in my chest, screaming at me to tell my brother, to ask him for advice but then Sodapop yawns and I'm reminded that he needs sleep more than I do.

Sodapop scoots closer to me. "You could never be bad, Ponyboy. You don't have it in you."

I roll onto my side, letting Soda hold me close. "I don't know about that," I whisper into the pillow, thinking about all the lies I've already told.

XxX

"Ponyboy!" Soda yells down the hall.

"I'm comin, I'm comin," Ponyboy mutters, running into the living room, duffel bag slung over his shoulder. Taking the turn too fast, he slams his shoulder on the corner of the wall He winces, rubbing his bicep and I shake my head at my clumsy brother. Sometimes it's a wonder he can run as fast as he does.

"You're gonna make us late for work," Steve lectures. "Taking you to the bus station and all."

Pony grabs the apple I hand him, eyeing Steve. "It must be hard being a jerk your whole life, Steve."

"Not as hard as being a pain in the ass. My ass especially." Grinning, Ponyboy tosses Steve the apple and Steve takes a bite out of it, munching heartily. Oddly enough, the two of them seem to enjoy their special type of arguing.

Soda laughs and grabs Ponyboy's duffel bag. "Great, I gotta listen to this all morning." He nods at me. "Dar, have fun camping. Remember bears are our friends."

"Thanks a lot, Sodapop," I tell him as he shoots me a grin and clambers out of the house, Steve following and shouting, "Move your ass, Ponyboy!"

"You got enough money?" I ask my brother, walking up and clapping him on the shoulder.

"Yeah, I do." Pony glances around the house, taking things in. I watch him; for the last few days he's been teetering between an odd calmness and a frenetic energy. I don't know what's gotten into him but I'm hoping his trip will do him some good.

"Be careful, call if you need anything and have fun."

"I will. You too." Ponyboy says, reaching out to give me an unexpected hug. He squeezes tight. I get over my surprise and hug him back quickly before he pulls away.

"I'll see you, Darry," he says almost shyly and then he's gone.

XxX

"Where've you been?" I ask as Two-Bit waltzes through the front door. Expecting that the brief knock on the door had been my ride, I throw my bag back onto the couch. "And since when do you knock?"

"Since today. And I've been here and there," Two-Bit says. " But mostly here. With a little of there mixed in." He plops on the couch, patting my bag. "Where you gallivanting off to?"

"Headed down to Jerome Lake for some camping."

"Sounds like fun," Two-Bit muses. There's a long beat and then he clears his throat. "The kid around?"

"No, he took off for the weekend too." Seeing my ride pull up, I reach over and grab my bag again. Teddy Daniels is parked in my driveway. He gives the horn a brief honk. I head for the door.

Two-Bit jumps up, quicker than I've ever seen him move, following me out onto the porch. "Where'd he go?"

"Soda and Steve took him to the bus station. He's staying with a buddy at the University of Oklahoma." Chuckling, I pull my keys out of my pocket, locking up the house for the first time in a long time. It's a freeing feeling, responsibility falling away. "Hope he gets a taste of college."

"Something tells me he won't." I glance over at Two-Bit who looks like he just bit into a lemon.

"What?"

"Nothing!" he yelps, backing off the porch. "So, uh, you said the bus stop?"

"Yeah, the one by the DX. They were going to drop him on their way into work." Daniels honks again and I hold up a finger, signaling I'll be there in a second. "What's going on, Two-Bit?"

Two-Bit shakes his head, moving away from me. "Nothing, you have fun this weekend. Get your kicks in. Sow your wild oats." He runs a hand through his hair, causing it to stick up in wacky spikes. "I, uh…I just remembered…I have this rash…" Without bothering to finish, Two-Bit darts for his car, shouting, "Don't worry, Darry!"

"Two-Bit, why would I…?"

Shaking my head, I give up trying to decipher his ramblings, instead watching him take off for his car at a slow run, leaving me mighty relieved that I'm getting away for the weekend and I don't have to deal with any craziness Two-Bit Mathews is trying to cook up.

XxX

Pardon typos.

As always, please review and thanks to all who have done so already. Me so happy.


	9. Chapter 9

As always, read and review. It makes the world go round.

Disclaimers: SE Hinton owns The Outsiders. Cursing included.

XxX

IX. Driving Sideways

XxX

The duffel bag slung over my shoulder is heavy, much like my stomach at the moment.

Inside it's filled to the brim with three sweatshirts, two pairs of jeans and a few t-shirts. _Moby-Dick_, my sketchpad, and some comics top off the mess of clothes. Already, as I stand in line waiting to buy my bus ticket, rationalizations begin making their way through my head. Five or six days gone; that's hardly running away. They'll be glad for the break. Darry's on vacation, he won't care.

Then doubt sets in, my brain screaming: Are you serious? They're going to be worried sick. Darry'll never trust you again. Then I think of the Hippie and take a breath. I gotta. I just gotta go.

I pull out the five dollars I've scraped from my savings, palming the bill. I'll get my ticket, sleep on the bus and when I wake everything will be sand.

The clerk calls "next" and before I can step up to the window, someone jerks my elbow roughly, tugging me out of line. "What's your problem?" I snap. I take a step back and blink; it's Two-Bit.

"What're you doing here?"

He coughs out a laugh. "What am _I _doing here?" Two-Bit punches his pointer finger in my chest and then hisses in one long breath, "What the hell are _you_ doing, kid?"

"Leave me alone, Two-Bit. As long as you ain't involved, you should be happy."

"Aw, shit, Ponyboy. I didn't think you'd actually take off." The bag's heavy and I shift it to the other shoulder as Two-Bit sighs. "Kid, you gotta go home."

"No way…" I back up, inching towards the ticket counter.

"Ponyboy, don't make me hog tie you and—"

I'm shaking my head. "No, Two-Bit, I ain't goin back. Tell Darry if you want to, I don't care, I'm just...I just have to do this."

"Pone, you can't go gallivanting all over the godforsaken country."

"A week. One week. Seven days, Two-Bit. Please."

"What's so dang important you can't do it here?"

I think about it. Really think. And then I say, "It's like I'm not home, even though I am. Darry and I…we're both so…so out of touch…I don't even know anymore."

"And you think this is the answer?" Two-Bit's staring at me strangely, his tone bordering on actual listening for once.

"Yeah…."

"And if I drag you home right now, tell Darry, you're still gonna find a way to go ain't you?"

"I am."

Two-Bit mutters something under his breath, shuts his eyes briefly and then glances at the blue sky above us. "Oh lord, forgive me for what I'm about to do. And protect me from the wrath that will soon follow." He reaches out and grabs my bag. "I'll take you." Turning around, he walks a few paces before stopping to look back. "Kid, stop gawking at me. Did you hear what I said? I'll take you to freakin California."

"Two-Bit, I don't want you to—"

"Shut up before I change my mind, Pone."

"Ok."

XxX

From the passenger seat of Two-Bit's truck I watch my friend exit his house, striding quickly down the drive. He tosses his bag in the bed of the truck, a dark object tucked under his arm, and climbs in, slamming his door shut. Handing me the object, which turns out to me a roadmap, he cranks the truck into gear and I watch his house disappear in the rearview mirror.

I hold up the map, impressed. "Prepared ain't you, Two-Bit? You bring your toothbrush too?"

"You're pretty mouthy for someone fixin to take off." He glances over at me. "You sure about this, kid?"

"Yeah, are you?"

"You both know we're going to be in for some serious ass-kicking's? Darry for sure. Sodapop if he can run fast enough to catch you. Maybe even Steve. But lo and behold, asses will be kicked in four score."

"That's 80 years, Two-Bit. I think we'll be back by then." He doesn't say anything except nod, concentrating on the road ahead. I lower my voice. "You ain't gotta do this, Two-Bit."

I heard both Darry and Soda's versions on how bad off Two-Bit was when he thought it was all his fault when I collapsed after the rumble. I don't want to put him through that again. Especially when I'm the one shaking things up.

"Shit, I ain't got nothin better to do."

Sighing, he takes a side road that leads to the freeway. I stare at my hands, wondering what I'm getting my friend into when he pats my leg. "Look Pony, I know I don't have to go with you. I ain't got to take you. But I want to. Besides, if you went to California all by your lonesome and something happened to you…" Two-Bit whistles. "Hell, I'd never forgive myself. This way I can at least babysit you here."

I roll my eyes, ducking my face closer to the window so he can't see me smile.

XxX

The stake goes in, down deep into the earth, anchoring my tent. Except for Daniels trudging around in the thick of the woods, it's quiet, the sounds of the wilderness something I haven't experienced since God knows when. Maybe hunting with my dad? But even that's a blur.

Straightening up, I survey my work, proud I still remember the correct way to set-up a tent. A loud whistle echoes through the woods and Daniels steps out between two large trees. He props his hands on his waist.

"Tent looks good, Curtis. Were you in Scouts?"

"No, just smart."

Daniels guffaws and then eyes the coolers resting next to the stone fire pit he's concocted. "I ain't sure we brought enough beer."

"How much is enough?"

"Oh, not to worry," Teddy says as an approaching van honks its horn. It's speeding and we watch it fishtail down the dirt road, stop, turn around with a squeal and then park itself in front of the tent. "The cavalry has arrived."

The van's doors fly open and two guys and three girls pile out. The guys are smart-looking – in jackets with short cut hair; their only saving grace is that they're wearing hiking boots. Daniels shouts a greeting, slaps hands with one of them and introduces me. I'm barely shaking the blonde-guy's hand when one of the girls eyes me. She sticks a hand out, white teeth and pink lipstick.

"Hi! I'm Lucy."

XxX

After about an hour of driving and one stop at a gas station to pick up snacks, Two-Bit's perked up, excited about the trip. Already the dash of the truck is littered with my pack of cigarettes, a package of beef jerky, an empty soda can and the roadmap.

"So I figure we'll drive straight through, switching off shifts. It's gonna be a long drive, kid. About a day." He grins at me. "After a quick stop in Norman, that is."

I wrinkle my nose. "What's in Nor—?" It dawns on me. "Oh, Two-Bit, we're not."

"We are!"

"But that's gonna waste a whole day."

"Kid, you told your big brother you were going to the University of Oklahoma. And go to the University you shall." Two-Bit grins. "Who knows maybe you'll learn something."

I can't help it; I grin back and punch his arm. "Loophole my ass."

"Shit, kid, we can't make a liar out of you yet."

XxX

The blonde girl's hovering over my shoulder. "I'm Jenny," she says, making no effort to extend a hand. "My sister likes you."

"Which one's your sister?"

"Her." Jenny juts her chin to Lucy, the first girl I met earlier today. She has the reddest hair I've ever seen it's almost scary, blood-like. The two of them don't cut it as sisters; the resemblance not even there. I decide to chalk it up to some hippie term that's going around these days.

Jenny leans in closer. "Do you need help?"

I cinch the cord tight. "Nope, I got it."

"Are you sure?"

"Jenny!" a voice screeches. "C'mere, you got to see this!" Suddenly, Jenny scatters like a cockroach, running over to the other blonde girl with short hair.

"She's kinda kooky," Teddy Daniels says, ambling up.

"No shit." My eyes brush around the camp, the folks included, and briefly I wonder what on earth I'm doing here.

XxX

"What about her?"

"Nah."

"That one?"

"Sure, she's pretty cute…" I squint at the passing blonde girl and take a sip of my soda. "You know Two-Bit, I don't think this was what Darry meant when he said 'do research'."

"C'mon, I bet there are just tons of pretty little fillies around here that need a younger man."

"They ain't horses, Two-Bit." I shift my weight on the bench, eyeing the quad where students walk and talk and play Frisbee. Done touring the campus, we've stopped for a break, each of us getting Cokes, Two-Bit bemoaning the fact that what he really wants is a beer.

"So, what do you think?"

"It's okay," I say with a shrug, trying to seem uninterested. Truthfully, being on campus has made me see what college could be like and I'm surprised to think that it may not be so bad after all. I scowl at my shoes: Damn Darry and him being right.

"How about that library, kid? Huh? You sure seemed to like all those books…"

"Yeah, those were pretty cool." I grin, thinking of the ancient library with its mountains and rows and stacks of books. I could get a job there and—I shake my head, clearing it of my eager thoughts.

Two-Bit tosses his can in the nearest trash, standing up and rubbing his palms on his jeans. The sun's hot and bright above us and he wipes his forehead. "Let's finish this tour up, Pony. Then we'll grab some grub and some beer."

XxX

It's not that late – only about nine at night but Two-Bit's insisted we stop at a motel outside of Norman for the night. "This way we'll be refreshed for the long drive ahead," he says, banging on the front desk for service.

A balding clerk walks out from the back room. "Can I help ya'll?"

Before I can get to my wallet, Two-Bit slides some cash to the clerk. "Your finest room, sir. Preferably something without a dead hooker under the bed…" he calls out as the clerk goes into the back for a key, giving Two-Bit a disgusted glare.

I push some money at Two-Bit, juggling the six-pack of beer I'm carrying for him. "Here, Two-Bit…"

"Nah, kid, you keep your money."

I groan. "Two-Bit, that's your poker money; I don't want you to—"

"Shoot Pony, I didn't have nothing else to spend it on. Besides we'll stay with my aunt when we get to San Fran. That'll free up some dough."

"Yeah but…but you shouldn't have to…"

"Relax, kid," Two-Bit says, knocking my shoulder. "If you really get worked up about it, pay me back. Or better yet, set aside some future bail money for me."

XxX

"So then," Teddy Daniels says, flailing his arms. "We were together. Then single." He points at the blonde girl, Jenny, who's sitting next to him, hand on his thigh. "Then decided she wanted to take a break until she gets her act together…" Everyone laughs except Jenny.

Adam, one of Daniels' friends from high school says, "Then it's gonna be a long break. She's freaking Looney Tunes."

Scowling, Jenny reaches over and slaps Adam hard on the shoulder. Still laughing, Daniels leans over and whispers something, causing her to break out into a smile.

"Maybe I got the right idea," I say. "Staying single."

Adam raises his beer and I raise mine. "That you do, Darrel. That you do."

I nod and take another drink. I like these guys. Letting loose with people I don't know is easier done than I would've expected.

The other guy, Jeff, would be a Soc if he lived in our city. He's an out-of-town friend of Adam's, not saying much, too concerned with looking good and the girl to his right.

"You want to play cards?" Jenny offers. "Pinochle?"

"What?" That's Lucy, the redhead to my right. She's snuggled up on my thigh, quiet the whole night except for this. "Pinochle's for old farts," she says. "Let's play strip poker."

XxX

I'm on fire, burning hot and not even the water around me can cool me off. It's the same old dream – Darry's stone. My palms, sand.

Something faint brushes my brow and I wake with a jolt. "Jesus," I breathe, sitting up straight. "Soda, I—"

My eyes focus and the dark form shifts. The person standing awkwardly in front of me tells me it's not my brother. It's Two-Bit. "Pone, I, uh, think you were dreaming. Hollering, that's for sure." He gives me a shaky smile.

"Sorry," I tug a hand through my sweaty hair. "It's a bad habit."

Two-Bit sits on the edge of the bed and I remember. We're in a crappy motel room, on the outskirts of Norman. It's got two twin beds, cable and warm water but it sure ain't home. Not by a long shot.

"You want to call Soda?"

I take the phone he hands me. "Sure, yeah…" I stutter as he punches the numbers in. The phone rings once and then—

"Hello?"

"Hey Sodapop!"

"Hey kiddo! You make it there? I was getting worried...hadn't heard from you…"

"No, I made it…I just wanted to call and say hey."

"Hey yourself. How the campus?"

It's a relief not to actually have to lie to Sodapop and I make a silent vow to thank Two-Bit for taking me up here. "It's good," I tell my brother. "Kind of deserted…but summer classes are in session so I'm seeing some stuff…the library is really neat…"

I'm aware that Two-Bit's watching me and I stop twisting the phone cord in my hands. The bed creaks as he stands up, walking to the blaring TV and switching the channel. It lands on some sort of nature program where two lions are fighting over a deer carcass. They bite into it, ripping and tearing the flesh and I have to turn my head away. I mumble a few more quick words to Sodapop and then hang up the phone.

The channel flips again and Two-Bit eyes me. "You want to watch this?" It's an old _Keystone Kops_ movie and I think that nothing's ever looked so good.

XxX

Before I can climb out of my tent, zip it up and walk away, she does.

"Hey," Lucy grunts, tugging a sweater over her t-shirt. "Morning."

"Morning."

"Is there coffee?"

"I uh, think Jenny made some…"

Yawning, she mashes her face in her hand. "Oh, good. I need some java." She gives me a bleary look, red hair strewn about, and then heads off for the fire pit where Jenny's crouched, tin coffee pot percolating over the coals.

As soon as she's gone I exhale. Loudly.

XxX

Pardon typos. Please review this extra long chapter, much sweat has been toiled over my keyboard.

Also, there's a little thing going around known as the Outsiders Fan Fiction Awards. Thanks to all who nominated my stories – much obliged. And thanks to the folks who set this up. It's awesome and important to have such a great community.

Don't forget to vote for your fave (whether it be me or another great writer) on Sept 15th! Woot!

www (dot) ggscawards (dot) webs (dot) com.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimers: SE Hinton owns The Outsiders; Cursing below.

X. More Adventurous

XxX

"You sleep okay last night, Pony?" Two-Bit asks.

"As good as I could." Sighing, I roll my head away from the window and towards my friend. I stifle a seven-am yawn. "Couldn't fall asleep. Thinkin of home, I guess."

"It ain't too late to go back, kid." He gives me a knowing look.

I straighten up from my slouch in the seat and pull out my smokes. "Are you kidding me, Two-Bit? This is an adventure."

Two-Bit laughs, a deep, hearty chuckle, and I can tell he's relieved I'm not reeling from the nightmares of last night. I must have had two or three of them, waking poor Two-Bit up and scaring the living daylights out of him.

"Glad to hear it, Pone." Reaching over, he flicks the radio on, static sounds of The Beach Boys floating through the speakers. "Because it just might be your last."

"And why's that?"

"You do know Darry's going to lock you up when you get back, don't you?"

"Yup."

"Big time."

"Oh, yeah.

XxX

Jenny refills my coffee without a word and I move off to meet the guys. They're huddled on the edge of the camp, next to the lumber pile we constructed yesterday. Teddy Daniels keeps checking his watch and muttering soft curses. Adam pats him on the back. "C'mon man, don't worry."

"What's goin on?" I settle near the group.

"My dumb-ass brother," Daniels swears. "He was supposed to meet us up here."

Jeff nods, looking smug. "Yesterday."

"They'll get here," I tell him. But that old familiar ache begins to brew in my gut. And as it does I realize I haven't thought of my brothers in nearly 24-hours. Yesterday it had been a relief, today my job I wouldn't want anyone else having.

XxX

"How can you read in the car?"

"Habit."

"Don't it make you sick?"

"No."

"Well, good. Here, read the map, smarty."

"Keep going, Two-Bit. We're on this straight road through to California. We'll hit Texas soon."

"Texas."

"Yeah."

"Hell, I remember when Dallas told me ya'll were on your way there…You and Johnny, kiddo."

"I remember that, Two-Bit."

"I told Dal I'd go and get you…bring you back to Tulsa…"

"Yeah, I remember that too."

XxX

A little ways outside of Amarillo, Two-Bit pulls over to the side of the road. There's a shoddy makeshift stand selling homemade salsa and beef jerky a few feet away from us. Dust swirls over the truck as we climb out. "Man, it's hot."

Two-Bit takes his shades off when he looks at me. "Shit, you ain't kidding, Pone." He scours the line of trees bordering the forest. "You go see about that salsa, kid. I'm gonna go hit the head." With that he rushes off into the brush of trees to use nature's bathroom.

I light a smoke and mosey over to the stand. When I get closer I see it's deserted. The sign advertising SALSA and JERKY is aged, the white paint chipped and cracked. I nudge a few empty wooden cartons with my foot. They topple over, breaking in two. I wince at the loud noise and then really wince when I see what's slithering out of the woodpile.

The rattlesnake is huge, intricate markings up and down its back. And there's no mistaking its rattle, the hollow beads shaking a warning. It coils up, about a foot away from me, the rattle still going.

"Shit." I begin backing up slowly. "Nice work, Pony." There's a crashing through the trees behind me and suddenly Two-Bit's hollering.

"Hey kid! You find any of that salsa?"

I give up trying to back away; I turn and run, the rattle sound disappearing behind me. Reaching Two-Bit, I grab his arm, tugging him back to the truck. "Nope. All closed up for the summer."

"Aw, hell's bells. Kid what's with you?"

"Nothing." I climb in through the driver's side, holding the door open for Two-Bit as I settle in the passenger's seat. "C'mon, Two-Bit. Let's just go."

"Don't you got to piss?"

"No, I don't. Let's go, man."

"O-kayyyy…" Two-Bit drawls, eyeing me strangely as he takes his sweet time climbing into the cab of the truck. He starts the truck, waits for a clear opening and then pulls back onto the highway. "I swear Ponyboy, you're getting weirder by the second."

I prop my hands on the dash, watching us speed by the brown lump on the side of the road, still hearing the rattling in my ears. "Tell me about it."

XxX

Four hours later, Daniels and I decide to drive to the nearest gas station to use the payphone. His brother still hasn't showed and for all his bitching I can see he's worried. I know the signs by now especially with all the practice I've had.

"Hey. Hey ma, it's Ted. Look, is Billy there?" Daniels listens intently for a moment and then frowns. "Ok, thanks….No, nothing's wrong….Yes, we're having fun, ma….Yes, ma, I love you too."

I stick my hands in my pockets. Just Daniels' phone call has me nervous for mine. It had been a relief not thinking about my brothers for an entire day but now that I have, I find myself missing them. Two-Bit and Steve too.

Shit. I smear my face in my hands; am I gonna be like this when I'm 30?

Daniels hangs up the phone with a clatter. "Jesus."

"Any news?"

"Yeah, he left this morning instead of last night." Daniels shakes his head, exhaling. "That little shit! I'm going to kill him." Daniels exhales again. "You gonna use the phone?"

"Yeah, call my brother this time."

"Shit, we got issues, Curtis." Daniels leaves me with the phone, walking towards the convenience store. "I'm gonna buy some more beer."

I snort, dropping some change into the phone's coin slot. The amount of beer I've drank the last two days might meet my yearly quota.

Soda picks up on the fifth ring. "'lo?"

"Soda, it's Darry."

"Hey, Dar. You just caught me leaving. How're the great outdoors?"

"It's been fun. Nice to get out of the house for a few days."

"Hey, I can dig that. It's pretty quiet around here without you and Ponyboy hollerin' at each other all the time." Soda laughs. "I kinda miss it."

"Yeah, well, remember that when we get back. How's Ponyboy?"

"He's good, called the other night, letting me know he made it." Soda sighs. "I think he likes the school alright. I ain't sure…"

"It's okay, Soda," I tell him. "I ain't looking for a report. Just want to make sure you two are good."

I twist around when I hear the door bells jingling in the convenience store. Daniels is propping two cases of beer in the bed of the truck, leaning over to reorganize our packs. The sun's hot, beating down and I shield my eyes against the glare.

"Right as rain, Dar." There's a faint yell in the background and then Soda says, "Hey look, I gotta go. Steve's gonna throw a fit – he's waiting on me."

"See you guys tomorrow night, Sodapop."

"See you, Dar."

XxX

"Kid? Hey kid, you asleep?"

I crack one eye to glare at Two-Bit. "Not anymore."

"I just wanted to tell you," he says in an exaggerated whisper, "to try not to dream. If you scream, I'll damn near drive off the road."

"Shut up, Two-Bit."

I feel a pat on my leg. "Go back to bed. I don't know what you're doin up. You have to drive in five hours."

"Shut up, Two-Bit." I rest my head back against the passenger-side window and close my eyes, letting the soothing motion of the moving truck drift me off to sleep.

XxX

Jerome Lake is calming and I'm beginning to see why Ponyboy takes his weekly escapes to the lake that's near our house. I bait my pole with a long worm and then cast it into the clear blue. I settle back into my rickety plastic fishing chair and tug one of Soda's DX caps on.

"Shit," Adam laughs, nodding at something to my right. "Would you look at that?"

I turn, seeing what he's found so funny. Ten feet away, the girls sit on the bank, chatting and puffing away on cigarettes. Next to them, one of their fishing poles is jerking like crazy. The blonde with the short spiky hair smokes cigarettes like it's her business while the other two – Jenny and Lucy – continue on, oblivious.

I raise an eyebrow and turn back to Adam. "They'll figure it out."

"Let's hope so."

I shut my eyes, hearing Adam crack a beer open, the girls' faraway chattering, waves lapping onto the rocky bank and when I open my eyes next, the sky's dark and cloudy. Yawning, I take the cap off, running a hand through my hair. A shadow passes by and I look up.

"Hi, sleepyhead," Lucy says.

"How long was I out?" I ask, standing up and stretching.

"About an hour or so. Do you know you snore?" She grins.

I cross my arms, feeling myself blush. "I do not."

"We're about to cook some burgers and dogs." Lucy pats my arm and then starts to walk away. "C'mon."

After a last glance at the lake, I grab my fishing pole, and head after Lucy. I jog uphill easily and when I come up over the ridge, through the trees, there's Daniels and another kid I haven't seen before.

"Alls I'm saying is that you scared the shit out of me," Daniels is saying. "I even called mom today and you know how she is."

The kid is thin with dark black hair and blue eyes. He shrinks away, backing into a tree. "I'm sorry, Ted. Plans change, man. Jesus, cut me some slack."

"Cut you some—? Billy, you keep doing this to people and I'm getting sick of it. Grow up."

"Hey, Daniels," I say, deciding to make myself known. "This your brother?" I nod at the kid, who gives me a thankful smile.

"Yeah," Daniels mutters. "This is Billy. Billy, Darry."

Billy nods, shaking my hand. "Good to meet you, Darry."

"Finally made it out here, huh?" I ask. There's a beat-up jalopy that Soda would just love to get his hands on, parked near a newly set-up tent at the edge of the camp.

"Sure took his sweet time doin it," Daniels growls.

"Whatever, man." Billy stalks off in the opposite direction but not before I see the hurt expression cross his face. Daniels mumbles something I don't hear and takes off after his brother, leaving me to wonder whether Pony and I really sound like that and if we do, what we're doing to each other.

XxX

Two-Bit and I both climb into the truck at the same time, each of us done with our tasks. I had to call home, Two-Bit find food. It's eight pm and we're leaving Winslow, Arizona. And this time, I'm driving.

Two-Bit has two bags of food from McDonald's that he sets on the ground, grease smelling up the car. We slam our doors and I hold my palm out for the keys. He plops them into my hand while asking, "You get a hold of Soda?"

"Nah," I say, sticking the key in the ignition and starting the truck up. "It's Saturday, I'm sure he's out." I flip the headlights on, darkness is nearing.

Hunched over, digging around in the bags for a burger, Two-Bit finds what he wants. "Cheese or plain?"

"Cheese."

I take the burger he hands me and for a moment the truck is filled with the sounds of crinkling wrapper paper. Between mouthfuls of burger, Two-Bit asks, "You think about what you're gonna say to Darry yet? You know you have to call tomorrow when he gets back, right?"

Chewing slowly, I pause and then swallow. "That it was better to ask forgiveness instead of permission?" I toss Two-Bit a hopeful smile and check my blind spot before merging onto the freeway.

"Not sure that's gonna slide in a court of law, kid." Two-Bit chuckles. "But it's as good an excuse as I've ever heard."

"Yeah…I know…Darry's gonna be so pissed."

"I wouldn't worry about it. Ain't a lot you can do now that we're in goddamn Winslow."

Boy howdy, Two-Bit's right. Since leaving at seven this morning, we've been in the car and on the road for 12 hours now, with Two-Bit doing most of the driving. Surprisingly, it's been fun. Even more surprisingly, we haven't gotten a ticket with the lead foot Two-Bit's got.

I managed to sleep for four hours this afternoon without any interruption from Two-Bit once I finally dozed off. Refreshed, I'm taking over the wheel, hoping I'm able to drive through the night without stopping too much.

"You think he's having fun?"

"What?"

"Darry. D'you think he's having a grand ol' time?"

"I hope so. It's probably good for him to get away…" The unsaid _from me_ lingers on my tongue but Two-Bit catches on anyways.

"You mean, away _from you_?"

I shrug, averting my gaze, trying to concentrate on the road when Two-Bit says, "Kid, no matter how much Darry yells, you got to know he'd never want you to go away. Ever."

Uncomfortable, I laugh. "When'd you get so serious?"

"Pony, you know that right?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do."

"Okay, good. Because I saw him when you took off for Windrixville and believe me, he was not a happy camper." Two-Bit laughs at the now-relevant pun and then shovels a fistful of fries into his mouth.

The lump in my throat's about the size of a grapefruit and I just keep staring at the yellow dividing lines in the middle of the road flashing by so fast they're blinding.

XxX

I stare at the pile of beer cans in front of me. "I can't believe I drank all those."

"Believe it!" Daniels says "You'll be famous!" In the light of the fire, blaring up around him, he looks crazed.

"Oh yeah, Guinness Book of Records here I come!" I pump my fist and half-burp, half-laugh.

Lucy screeches with laughter and waves the hot dog she has impaled on a stick in front of Jenny's face. "Want a wiener?"

The blonde girl with the short, spiky hair laughs, whose name I still don't know says, "That's more your style, Luce." She catches me watching her and raises an eyebrow.

So far, it's been a good night. Food, beer, friends; I didn't know I could branch out. The thought makes me chuckle and I reach for another beer. The cooler's empty, finding only ice. "We're out of beer," I announce.

"Well, go get some!" Adam says. "That way, muscles." He points to another cooler resting close to the Jalopy. Groaning, I haul myself up, pausing to swat the back of Adam's head and then dart off for the cooler.

Billy's lounging in the back of his Jalopy, feet kicked up. "Hey Bill, why don't you come join the party?" I squat down and haul up the cooler, balancing it against my hip.

"Maybe," he says. In the dim darkness, I can't tell if he's sneering or smiling. "I got some grass we can smoke. Teddy will appreciate that at least."

"You do what you gotta do," I tell him, shaking my head. "Count me out."

"Don't go for that?"

"Never have. I'll stick with beer."

"As long as you're buzzed," Billy says, hopping out of the jalopy. "Works for me." Then Billy gives a silly grin and claps me on the shoulder. "You're alright, man."

XxX

The night drive is quiet and a bit unnerving. With no one to talk or listen to – Two-Bit's zonked out and all I can get on the radio is fuzz – I have too much time alone with my thoughts. Despite it being past midnight, I'm wide awake. A light rain is falling, moon hanging high in the sky.

There's this knot in my stomach I just can't shake. Whether it's because of nerves or my excitement to get to California I can't tell. I think I just really want to get there so I can tell myself it was worth it.

I think of my brothers, trying to guess what they're up to tonight; Soda and Steve are probably off playing poker and playing girls. Darry...? I think of him sitting around a campfire, making s'mores and laugh at the thought of my oldest brother doing this.

Reaching over, I blindly feel around for the bag of gummy bears Two-Bit bought earlier. I grab one and then resume my game I've been playing for the last hour. I give Two-Bit a quick glance, eyes back on the road, and then shoot the gummy bear at his open mouth. The yellow candy sticks on top of his eyelid, five other ones are strewn across his shirt, one's even in his hair.

Snickering, I consider this payback for the SnoBall fiasco.

The green sign on the side of the road whips by and I see that we're almost to Kingman, Arizona. Flicking the windshield wipers on, I tighten my fists around the steering wheel and stifle a sigh.

And that's when it hits.

It comes from out of nowhere, a dark shape jumping into the middle of the road. It slams into the side of the truck, rocking us, and I punch the brakes as hard as I can, keeping my hands on the wheel. "Shit, Two-Bit!" I holler, seeing that we're not stopping. There's movement beside me and Two-Bit shouts something but it doesn't register.

The truck spins for what seems like an eternity, tires slick against the wet asphalt. We jerk hard to the left, my head slamming into the driver's side window. And then everything stops.

XxX

Yes, I left it there.

Pardon typos. Please review – they are so very appreciated!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimers: SE Hinton owns The Outsiders. Cursing below.

Thanks for all the great reviews and reads last chapter. Always appreciated and please keep it up.

Cheers!

Feisty

XI. Take Your Time (Coming Home)

XxX

The three girls are dancing around like the witches from Macbeth; a reference I'm sure even Ponyboy would appreciate.

"My name is Lucy!" Lucy hollers as she begins to hum the Beatle's _Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds_.

"Oh, get over yourself!" the spiky blonde snaps. She plops next to me in the dirt. "Your name's Ethel." She gives me a sneaky smile. "She only changed her name because of that damn song." She sticks her hand out. "I'm Pearl. And that's my real name."

Her handshake's fierce. "Darry," I tell her, noticing she's pretty cute and definitely has her wits about her, which is more than I can say for Lucy or Jenny. Before I can say much more, there's a funny feeling in my gut; that feeling I get when there's something wrong at home. I think of my brothers, Ponyboy especially, and I wipe sweaty palms on my jeans. But then the feeling disappears just as quickly as its come and I chalk it up to the beer and the firelight.

XxX

It's quiet. It's so quiet and silent I think both Two-Bit and I have gone to meet our maker. Then sound comes rushing back, like a freight train approaching, and Two-Bit's shaking me. "Kid! Ponyboy, are you okay?"

I glance around. We're fine, we're in one piece. The truck's haphazardly strewn on the shoulder of the road but other than that, we lucked out.

"Pony, Pony…"

"Aw, shit, Two-Bit, your truck…"

"I don't care about that right now – Jesus, kid, are you okay?"

"I'm okay…" I blink, realizing my hands are still gripping the steering wheel.

Two-Bit makes me look at him. "Yeah?" he asks. I nod. "Yeah?" I nod again and finally he slumps back in the seat, his face green. "Jesus Christ, what a way to wake the fuck up."

"I'm sorry," I tell him, reaching over to unhook my seatbelt. "Something ran into the road, I couldn't stop. Are you okay?"

"Just peachy." Two-Bit's seatbelt zings back and he says, "Well, let's go see what the damage is." He reaches under his seat, pulling out a flashlight.

When we get outside, we're stunned to see only a slight dent in the driver's side door. Two-Bit scratches the back of his head, the light from the flashlight bobbing around the truck. "Must've been a goddamn deer." He shines the flashlight in my face and I wince. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," I say, rubbing my temple while eyeing the dent. "I'm really, really sorry, Two-Bit…your truck…"

"Man, lighten up, Pone. It still works and 'sides you forget we know two mechanics. Steve'll pound this shit right out."

"Yeah."

"Come on, you ready to go? Think you can drive? Avoid maiming anymore Bambis?"

I scowl at my friend in the dark and crawl back behind the steering wheel. I resist the urge to honk as Two-Bit walks in front of the truck and instead call out, "You got something in your hair, Two-Bit."

There's a long beat and then, "Aw, c'mon, kid. What's with the goddamn gummy bears?"

XxX

Billy and I are the only ones left around the campfire, waiting for it to die out before we head back to our tents. Billy exhales and drains the last of his beer. "Man, I can't wait to get out of here."

"Not your idea of fun?"

He shrugs. "You've seen me and Ted. It's like pulling teeth with us. I don't even know why I try anymore."

"Ted's a good guy, Billy. I have two brothers and I can tell you it ain't always easy."

"Maybe so…but with Ted you just can't talk to him. Whatever I say goes in one ear and out the other. Or I don't know what I'm talking about, I'm wrong, because to Ted, I'm always wrong…" Billy stands up, kicking dirt into the fire pit to dampen the flames. "But now I really don't care. He may be my brother but it sure don't feel like it."

My tongue's turned to cotton, the situation so similar it's almost funny. Billy may be the one standing in front of me but all I can picture is Ponyboy saying the same thing about me one of these days and I sure as hell ain't laughing.

"So, what d'you want him to do?"

Billy looks at me, point-blank. "Just listen to me is all."

XxX

Two-Bit yawns.

I grin. "Guess where we are?"

Sleepily, he sits up, staring out the window. The sun is beginning to rise; faint golden hews brushing the horizon. It almost compares to a sunset but not quite. I know better.

"Heaven?" Two-Bit asks.

"California."

"No shit." Impressed, Two-Bit keeps his eyes on the rising sun before glancing over at me. "You drove all night, kid?"

"Yeah," I say. "Only pulled off once."

"You mean…aside from the deer incident?"

"Shut up, Two-Bit."

XxX

The dull throbbing in my temple is as much a reminder as I need to know I won't be drinking like I did last night for a long time. Already the simple task of breaking down the camp seems harder than it is. Groaning, I start bundling up my sleeping bag and belongings. A pair of boots settles near me and I look up, into the blinking sun overhead.

"How're you farin, Curtis?"

"Not as bad as Adam..." I tell Daniels, jerking my thumb behind me to where Adam is sitting on the ground, a blanket wrapped around his frame.

Daniels laughs. "Shit man, we had some good times last night."

"Sure did." Finished with my pack, I zip it up and survey what else I have left to do. The pounding in my head increases and Daniels stands there fit as a fiddle. "Hey man, how come you aren't feelin the pain?"

"Pearl makes a mean bloody Mary," Daniels says. "Want her to whip you one up?"

I hold a hand up. "No thanks, I had my fill last night." Glancing around the camp, I notice the Jalopy's gone. "Where's Billy?"

"Guess he took off."

"You know, maybe you and Bill—"

"I'll talk to the kid later." The look on Daniels face tells me he doesn't want to hear anything else about his brother from me so I decide to can it. Daniels nudges my pack with his boot. "Real glad you came out here, Curtis. Now back to reality, huh?"

"Back to reality." As much fun as I had, it'll be good to get home.

XxX

"Kid, your leg's jumping a mile a minute." Two-Bit pops a chip into his mouth. "You still shook up about that deer?"

I give him a look. "Who said I was shook up?"

"Aw, come on, Pone, you got a heart of gold. You couldn't even go hunting with your dad."

"Lay off, man," I snap, stirring my Coke with its straw. We've stopped at a diner on the side of the road in Bakersfield, California. Rock music's pumping throughout the restaurant, truckers talking loud and smoking in one corner.

"So what gives? Why the nerves?"

I point at the clock on the wall. "It's almost D-Day."

Two-Bit's mouth merges into a thin white line. "You know, Pone," he says, "I almost forgot about that part of the trip."

"That's called denial, Two-Bit."

"Hmmm, call me crazy but in another language it's survival. Thanks for the reminder, kid. So far it was shaping up to be a fun old time."

"Give it a few hours."

I sit back in the booth, rapping my knuckles on the Formica table. We're about four hours away from San Francisco and I can hardly believe it. Although my excitement is overshadowed by the fact that I have to call Darry sometime in the near future. But I can't chicken out now; I knew what I was doing.

"So Pony," Two-Bit says, offering me a smoke. I can tell he's trying to get me to think of something else besides my royally pissed off older brother. "What's the first thing you want to do when you get to San Fran?"

I don't even have to think about it.

"See the ocean."

XxX

Soda's eating a peanut butter sandwich and lounging on the couch when I get home. Steve's sprawled out on the floor tinkering with an auto part; grease speckled on the paper towels shielding the carpet from damage. The house is loud with competing sounds of the TV and radio and I doubt they even hear the door open.

Then Soda glances my way, shooting me a grin. "Hiya, Dar. Decided to come back to us after all?"

"Looks like it. Just couldn't escape you two." Soda chortles and I hang my jacket up, eyeing Steve who's dangerously close to spilling small can of oil. "Hey Steve," I tell him. "You wanna keep the mess on the towel?"

Steve snorts. "And he's back." He smirks, capping the oil can. "There you go, Superman."

"Scoot," I say, nudging Soda's feet over to sit beside him. He curls up on one side, making room for me. Sighing, I prop my elbow on the armrest, nestling my cheek in my palm. On TV, John Wayne's gunning down Indians. I try to stifle a yawn but Soda catches it.

"Looks like you're moving slow today, Dar." Steve glances at me and then the two of them grin at each other. "And," Soda continues, "that can have many reasons...women...booze...women and booze..." He ticks the small list off on his fingers.

"Just booze, Sodapop. Nothing else."

"Are you sure?"

"Mind your own business."

Laughing, Soda sits up, clutching his heart. "Oh, Stevie, our little Darry came back a man!"

"Is she walking bowlegged, Dar?" Steve asks, raising a suggestive brow as Sodapop begins howling.

"Jesus, you two are worse than Two-Bit." I tell them, punching Soda's arm hard. Their laughter suddenly dies down and I ask, "Wait, where is Two-Bit?"

"I ain't got the foggiest," Soda says. "He's been MIA and his ma said he just hopped in his truck and took off this weekend."

"Bum's probably huntin down a blonde. Or a job," Steve says with a scowl. "He'll be back."

"Yeah," Soda agrees, voice soft. I frown, thinking of when I'd seen him last; Two-Bit his normal, crazy self suddenly running off in a panic…something about a rash…

I frown again, shaking my head to clear it. "Pony here?" My eyes move to the hallway – not that I'm expecting my youngest brother to greet me with open arms – it'd just be nice to see him. In fact, after talking with Billy over the last few days, I need to see him, reassure myself that we're not Daniels and Billy no matter how bad it gets.

"Not yet...Figure he'll be back this afternoon sometime." I nod and Soda glances over at me. "Good to be home?"

"It is." I shut my eyes, rubbing my temple.

"You got a headache, Darry?"

"Yeah, where're the aspirin?"

"In the bedroom on Pony's dresser."

It's Steve who laughs. "Of course they are."

XxX

I don't think I've ever been so nervous. Ever. In my life.

It's at this moment I realize I've probably done something so stupid it may be irreparable; hurting me and Darry more than it will help. But I've followed my gut and I have to trust that.

Two-Bit's pulled over at a gas station about an hour outside of San Francisco, telling me I better do it now or never. It's about three in the afternoon and I know my brothers are expecting me home. I finger the change in my pocket and approach the phone booth like it's a time bomb.

"You can wait in the truck, Two-Bit," I hiss at my friend who's skulking slowly behind me.

He looks like he'd rather do nothing else but instead swallows and shakes his head. Two-Bit doesn't say anything, stuffing his hands in his pockets and resting his back against the phone booth's glass side.

I straighten up, trying to feel brave while dropping change into the machine's coin slot. Hesitating, I bite my lip and then punch in the numbers to my home.

XxX

I drop a load of laundry in the washer, add soap and slam the lid. Checking my watch for the third time, I glance at the clock on the wall for good measure. Ponyboy's still not home and while I'm not exactly worried, the uneasy feeling's beginning to build. Not talking to my youngest brother for 72 hours hasn't exactly settled me.

When I exit the laundry room, Steve has the phone in his hand. "Yeah," he drawls. "Sure taking your sweet time—" He winces and pulls back. "Ok, ok, shit kid, you ain't gotta yell. Which brother do you want?"

I tap Steve on the shoulder and he hands the phone off to me. "Ponyboy?" I ask, Steve retreating to the couch with a scowl.

"Hey Dar," Pony says. I let out an exhale, hearing my brother's voice.

"Kiddo, you okay?"

"Sure, I'm okay. How was camping?"

"Great, had a lot of fun. Caught some fish, slept in a tent, built a fire. You know the usual."

"That's great. Real great..."

I frown, noticing how far away he sounds, almost disjointed. "Pony, where are you? It's nearly four."

"Yeah, about that…"

"What's wrong? The bus late picking you up?"

"No…" he says. "Nothing like that. Well, I—I'm kind of a long ways from Tulsa. I took a little detour."

"What kind of a detour?" My eyes meet Soda's, popping his head out of the kitchen. He shoots me a _What-Now?_ look and I hold up a finger. "Pony, where are you?"

There's a long pause and I'm already patting my pockets for my keys when Pony says: "I'm in California."

Just like that it's as if the air's sucked from the room. I balk. "What?"

"I went to San Francisco."

"Ponyboy, if this is some sort of payback for forgetting to pick you up…ha-ha…you got me…"

"Dar, it's not. Listen, I had to get out of there…I'm really sorry but I didn't know what to do…I really did go to the University and I actually like it. You were right. But now…I'm really here and…" His voice is a mad rush to explain, desperation and fear evident. I zone out for a moment, Ponyboy's words background noise, the phone in my hand feels as heavy as a brick.

"I'll be back in a week…" He says when I finally pick up on his voice again. "You don't have to worry—"

I hear somebody say, "Oh, Jesus Christ," then realize it's myself, holding the phone tight against my ear and hearing my youngest brother tell me he's skipped town. "Don't have to worry?" I suddenly shout. "Ponyboy Michael Curtis, do you know how much trouble you're in?"

"I'm not ten, Darry," he says between gritted teeth. "I know what I'm doing."

"Damn it, Ponyboy. I can't believe you did this!" I swear, searching around for my wallet. _If I can get a bus ticket I can be out there and back by_…my brain searches for the math while I try not to think about my 15-year old brother alone in San Francisco. Then the next thought makes my stomach flip; anger and fear bubbling up. I start pacing the length of the living room, the phone cord trailing behind me.

"If the State finds out about this, they're not going to understand! They'll stick you in a boy's home—"

"I know! Don't you think I thought about that? Darry…I swear, I'll be back in seven days—"

"No way in hell. Are you nuts? Look, stay put, I'm gonna come get you and—"

"And what? Miss work? Lose some pay? C'mon, don't do that; I'm fine, I promise."

"Then get your ass back to that bus station and get a ticket home. I mean it, Ponyboy!"

"Well, I didn't exactly take the bus here…" Pony says slowly.

I shut my eyes. "If you hitchhiked, so help—"

"Two-Bit's here." Before I can say anything more he pushes on. "He didn't know anything about me leavin' until the bus stop and I was gonna go no matter what so…he drove," he finishes lamely.

I smear a hand through my hair, the headache worse than it was an hour ago. As relieved as I am that someone is there with Ponyboy, I'm seeing about ten shades of red right now. "I don't understand any of this, Ponyboy," I snap. "Running off again like last time—"

"This isn't like last time." Ponyboy sighs. "I know I'm in trouble and you're mad…but I had to go. I had to get away from…well, just for a little bit…"

I rest my forearm on the wall and drop my forehead against it. I don't understand my brother, putting his security in jeopardy, everything we've worked so hard for…when his words finally hit me. He had to get away. From me. The thought's painful knowing I've driven my brother 1,000 miles away simply because I can't listen to him. Forcing him, fighting him won't change anything…

_Three minutes remaining,_ the telephone interrupts in its mechanical voice. _To continue this call please deposit more…_

I take a breath and do something different. I listen. I try to really hear my brother.

"Okay, Ponyboy."

"Okay?" he sounds confused, like it's a trap. Behind me there's a squeak of protest from Sodapop, who by now, has picked up on enough of this conversation to know what it's about.

"You ain't off the hook," I tell him. "Not by a long shot. In fact, you're in it pretty deep, kiddo."

"I know."

"Where're you staying?"

"With Two-Bit's aunt."

"You got enough money?"

He sounds sheepish, "Yeah, we do. My savings and Two-Bit won a poker ga—Shoot, Two-Bit, I'm sorry! I had to tell him…Dar, you there?"

"Yeah," I grunt, mulling his answers over in my mind. They all sound reasonably well thought out and do a little to calm the tension currently building in my shoulders.

"Okay," I tell him. "You got a week – and that _includes_ the drive back, got it Ponyboy? Check in with me or Soda every day so we know what you're up to. You get your ass home and if we're lucky the State won't spring a surprise visit." I can practically see him smiling over the phone. "Now let me talk to Two-Bit."

He hesitates. "But Dar—"

"Ponyboy, I ain't asking twice."

There's a shuffling, hushed whispers on the other end of the line and then Two-Bit's croaking, "Hey there, Muscles…"

"Two-Bit, believe me, I'll deal with you when you get back. But right now…I want you to watch Ponyboy. He's your responsibility and if anything happens, I'm holding you to that."

"Yes, sir, Captain!" Then he swallows and says in a low voice, "You got it, Darry. Don't worry about the kid. I'll watch him good. I've got eyes like a bat."

In the background, I hear Ponyboy whisper, "Two-Bit, bats have bad eyesight…They actually use sonar to see…" And I have hide a chuckle, wondering if Two-Bit knows what he's got himself into.

"Ok, fine my eagle eyes…whatever," Two-Bit hisses back at Ponyboy. "Happy?...Now Darry, what else can I do for you this fine Sunday afternoon?"

I pull the phone over to the recliner and plop down."Nothing, Two-Bit. Just be careful and call if you need anything."

Two-Bit's quiet and then says, "Are you sure this is Darry Curtis?"

"I'd hang up now, Two-Bit," I tell him. "I ain't gonna be so understanding when you get back." Then the phone goes dead and I'm left with Steve and Sodapop staring at me like I've just gone crazy.

It sure as hell feels like it.

XxX

Pardon typos.

Please read and review! This was a tough chapter to write. Hope I did it justice.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimers: SE Hinton owns The Outsiders. Cursing below.

As always, thank you for reading and reviewing. Please keep it up!

Cheers!

XII. Over the Rainbow

Two-Bit hangs up the payphone. "Huh."

"Huh," I repeat, dazedly staring at my friend.

"Um…I'm just gonna put this out there…but…was that a dream?"

"I…don't think so."

"So, we're really alive?"

"I don't know," I whisper, afraid that if I'm any louder I'll wake up back in Tulsa.

Two-Bit suddenly straightens up, walks over to me and smacks my back with vengeance. "Well, hell kid! Look at that, we beat the system."

"Don't worry, heads are gonna roll when we get back." But right now I'm too happy to be worried about what punishment Darry has in store. All I can do is grin.

Two-Bit wiggles his eyebrows, relief evident on his face. "That may be true my young Ponyboy. But until then…the world is our clamshell."

"Oyster."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"So, you ready to hit the road again, kid?" Two-Bit pulls the jangling keys from his pocket. "Almost there. T-minus one hour and counting…give or take a few pedestrian hits along the way." He moves toward the truck, slapping the hood and murmuring, "Good girl."

I really can't believe it. It's as if I just got the green light to tour the world; I'm going to actually see something outside of Tulsa.

"Kid?"

"One second," I tell Two-Bit before running for the gas station. Inside, I spy what I need, grab it from the shelf, pay the cashier with a few bills and then am climbing in the cab next to Two-Bit.

"Look."

Seeing the book I've just held up titled: _Touring San Francisco: A Guide_, Two-Bit groans, dropping his face in his right palm.

XxX

"You're letting him stay?" Soda asks, reeling in disbelief. Steve's perched on the edge of the couch, eyebrow raised in amusement as he listens to our conversation.

"What do you want me to say, Sodapop? There's not a lot I can do over the phone."

"But—"

"Do you want me to call the cops, tell them he ran away?"

"Of course not, Dar." Soda slumps against the wall, moving a pack of cigarettes back and forth between his palms. "I just—I just can't believe he would do this."

Steve snorts. "Well, he's not exactly an angel..."

"Screw off, Steve," Soda snaps. "You ain't helping at the moment."

Without apology, Steve's eyes flash to me. "You think Two-Bit's got a lick of sense out there?"

As irritated as I am with all the questions, I got to give it to Steve – he has a point. San Francisco's a much larger city than Tulsa and my brother and Two-Bit aren't exactly world travelers. Street smart sure; but when it comes to a bigger city I'm not sure how they'll do.

"I sure as hell hope so." I pull myself out of the recliner, walking past my brother and Steve to replace the phone on the end table. "He better keep Ponyboy on tight leash." Steve looks like he wants to say more but keeps his mouth shut.

Damn it, Ponyboy. I hate that he put me in this position, having no plan to tell Soda of and feeling helpless. He's pretty much left me no options. He's right about Soda and I missing work, we can't afford it and we're not about to call the cops because we know where that would land all of us.

I take a deep breath; something I'm finding isn't so easy. Seven days. I'll give him a week and if he's not back I'll go down there myself and drag him home.

Soda's mouth is a thin grimace and I know what he's thinking: Our little brother is out there. Somewhere. Alone.

"Look, Soda, I'm just as worried as you are." I tell my brother, trying to sound reassuring when I feel anything but. "He's gonna be fine. And when he gets back we're grounding his ass."

Soda finally laughs. "You better believe it."

XxX

I'll admit it.

The lack of sleep and being cooped up in the truck for so long is making me loopy.

Two-Bit's fists are wrapped tight around the steering wheel as he makes his final drive into San Francisco, fighting clustered traffic. The city's horizon is in view, fog rolling around the tall buildings and gray skies. My eyes, fixed on the book in front of me, keep bouncing up to the window to narrate various tourist destinations.

"Knob Hill should be over there."

"Uh huh."

"The beaches are still cold in June. That's funny, right Two-Bit?"

"Sure, kid."

"Oh, listen to this! It says if you really want to see San Francisco we should take a trolley but since we have the truck I ain't too sure if we want to do that. The Golden Gate Bridge is supposed to be pretty tuff and then there's the Lombard Street, which is supposed to be the most crooked street in the world…and _that's_ right next to—"

"Kid, I'll go anywhere you want. Tomorrow. After I get a shower and a home cooked meal."

"You expect your aunt to cook for you?"

"I don't care. Kid, I'll take you to freaking Atlantis. Just please, please, put down the book."

XxX

"I think this is it," Two-Bit says, glancing down at the scribbled directions in his hand. He scratches his head and looks again at the house facing us. Sitting at the end of a street, the house is a pale blue with white shutters and a garden out front.

"What do you mean, you 'think'?" I ask climbing out of the truck and slamming the door shut. I hurry over to Two-Bit. The home in front of us is way too nice for a Greaser. It's not exactly Soc material – but close. "Are we on the wrong block?"

"Well, I thought she lived in San Francisco but now I'm thinkin what if it's another San? Bernardino? Diego? Juan? Capistrano? Jose…?"

"Two-Bit, you ain't serious..."

"That's a lot of Sans, kid. I can't keep them all straight."

I stare at my friend, at a loss for words when suddenly he reaches out and ruffles my hair. "I'm just busting your balls, Pone." He walks up to the front door and before knocking, looks back at me. "You coming?"

I shake my head, annoyed. "That's not funny, Two-Bit. Not funny at all."

He shrugs, a small smile on his lips. "Then how come I was laughing?" Two-Bit raps three times on the door and then it opens.

XxX

Wanda Mathews still has a faint trace of a drawl despite having lived in San Francisco for over 20 years. She looks exactly like Two-Bit's mom, 40-ish, blue eyes, sweet smile, except she has Two-Bit's rusty hair color and loud mouth.

So far, for the last two hours, she's fed us, scolded me for running off, and patiently listened to Two-Bit's story of our road trip here , exaggerated lies and all, without batting an eye. I only had to interrupt once; when Two-Bit added a tiger into the mix.

"Well, lordy, Keith," Wanda says when Two-Bit finishes his narration. "When Donna told me you were on your way, I didn't believe it." She squeezes Two-Bit's arm. "But it sure is good to see my nephew."

Two-Bit stuffs the last piece of peach pie in his mouth. "You too," he manages between swallows.

"How's that sister of yours?"

"Loud and mouthy. Just like most girls." Two-Bit nudges me with his elbow. "Am I right, Pony?"

"Your mother definitely has her hands full." Wanda chuckles, folding up her napkin. She eyes me. "I bet you're beat." Before I can say anything except nod, she stands, grabbing the cane that's resting on the back of her chair. "Let me show you where you two will be sleeping."

We follow her down the hall and she flicks the light on in the back bedroom. Inside the room two twin beds are shoved against opposite walls. Each has a nightstand and a bedside light with a cowboy hat lampshade.

"Ooo, do I get cowboy pajamas too? The ones with the feet on them?" Two-Bit asks, clasping his hands together.

I set my duffel bag next to one of the beds. "I think you outgrew those maybe…two years ago, Two-Bit."

Wanda points at me. "I like this one," she tells Two-Bit. "I can see why you keep him around."

Two-Bit rolls his eyes. "He's okay. For a Greaser." Aunt and nephew both share a laugh and then Two-Bit's smile falls away. He gestures at the room. "Are you sure, Wanda?"

"Oh shoot, go ahead." Wanda smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes. "It's been a long time, honey. Don't you worry." Reaching out, she ruffles Two-Bit's hair and then says, "I'll let you boys get settled. You're lucky I have crazy shifts at the hospital or else I'd make you hang out here with me and play cards your whole trip."

She winks at me and then leaves us, her cane making soft thumping noises as she slowly retreats. I watch her go, gingerly sitting on one of the beds. "Is everything okay?" For some reason, I get the feeling the room is more than a guest bedroom. I glance at the wall, a picture of twin boys, arms wrapped around Wanda.

"Sure, kid." Two-Bit sits on the other bed. "Let's just say we all have more experience with car accidents than we want to." He reaches out and pats my knee.

XxX

Through the wall I hear the shower squeak off. I stifle a yawn and try to focus on _Moby-Dick_. It's hard; with every line I read, my eyelids keep getting heavier. Suddenly, Two-Bit runs into the room, clad in boxers and dripping wet, a beer in one hand.

I stare at him. "Did you forget your clothes? Or maybe a towel?"

"It's freezing," Two-Bit hisses and I have to admit he's right. It may be summer but in San Francisco it's about 20 degrees cooler than Tulsa. He tosses me the beer while he hops into a pair of jeans, throwing on ripped t-shirt.

It's weird sharing this much personal space with my friend but it's not awkward. Like so many things lately, just a different situation. Taking the beer back from me, Two-Bit flips on the small black and white TV in the corner of the room and settles onto his bed. He smiles happily at the _Three Stooges_.

"What're you doing?"

"What?"

"Don't—" I yawn. "Don't you want to go out and do something?" Despite my tiredness and the soft bed beneath me, I have this urge to keep moving, to not waste a minute while I'm here. Unfortunately, Two-Bit seems to have a different idea, tearing his eyes away from the TV to glance my way.

"My, my, aren't you the life of the party. Forget it. Just watch some TV, kid. Or go shower. You smell like a sewer."

"No, I want to go out."

"And do what? Go dancing? Shit, the day's over Pony. We've been driving for two days straight. Try and relax would ya?"

I yawn again. "But—"

"Kid, take a nap or you're gonna pass out with that book on your lap."

"I won't, Two-Bit…'sides it's only seven…I ain't sleepy anyways…"

There's a soft laugh. "Famous last words, Pone."

XxX

There's dust all around, silky smooth and rough and rocky. It's filling up my palms like they're hourglasses, until it overflows, spilling to the ground like salt.

Darry keeps talking to me but I can't make out what he's saying. His words look urgent and I brush my hands against my jeans. I hold my hands up to my face only to see thin cracks snaking their way across the flesh. It expands and then cracks.

I open my mouth to call out and the only thing that comes out is more dirt…

And then it's a yell and Two-Bit is practically shoving my shoulders into the bed, trying to hold me still. "Jesus, Ponyboy!"

"I'm sorry, shit..." Breathing heavily, my wits already collected, I scramble back into a sitting position. I wipe the sleep from my eyes, wincing when I focus on Two-Bit's face. "Glory, Two-Bit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

Exhaling, Two-Bit lets out a nervous chuckle. "Maybe we need to rethink this sleeping situation."

"Yeah, maybe. There's a couch out there with your name on it."

"Shit, kid. You and Kathy have the same lines." He reaches out; ruffling my hair like Wanda did to him earlier and I chalk it to some type of Mathews Family tradition. "Are you uh…gonna be able to get back to sleep?"

"Why? Are you offering to tell me a story?" I try hard not to laugh.

"Shut up the hell up smart ass and go back to bed."

XxX

I'm bone-tired from the camping trip and the situation with Ponyboy hasn't helped any. I finish folding my laundry, stuffing shirts and socks into my dresser drawer when the phone rings. On my way out of the bedroom, I stub my toe on the edge of the wall.

"Sonofabitch," I swear, grabbing up the phone. "Hello?" I ask when all I really want to say is _now what_?

"Darry?"

"Hey, Two-Bit, everything okay?" I twist around to catch the time in the kitchen. It's 10 here, making it about eight in California.

"Right as rain. I uh, I just wanted to give you my aunt's phone number," he says. "Figured you'd want it."

"I do. Hold on…" I tell him, hunting around for a pencil and paper. I grab what's within reach – a Sharpie and one of Steve's car magazines. "Okay, shoot." He rattles off the number and I scrawl it on the hood of a red Chevy Corvair.

"Got it." I rip the page out of the magazine and tape it to the fridge.

"Yup, we finally made it to the old homestead. Had some chow, a cold beer for me, warm milk for the kid and now he's conked out and I'm stuck watching Lucy stomp grapes…or some shit like that…"

Two-Bit's blathering and I frown. "What's wrong, Two-Bit?"

"Um…did you know Pony's been having freaky ass nightmares again?"

"Damn it. Really?"

"Yeah, he had one in Norman and then one not 10 minutes ago. Screams like a girl I keep telling him that but he just won't stop…" Two-Bit's tinny whistle sounds through the phone. "Christ, Darry, I don't know how you and Soda do it."

"Sometimes I don't either…"

"So is there…like maybe a trick or anything to make him stop? I looked for an _off_ switch but I'm not finding that…"

I give a strained chuckle. "Soda's the one with the magic."

"Shit lot of good that does me."

"He'll be okay. I think he was having them back here but we weren't sure." I wonder if another doctor's appointment is in order and make a note to schedule one when Pony gets back. I clear my throat. My chest feels tight thinking about Ponyboy and I don't know what's gotten into me.

"Thanks for letting me know, Two-Bit."

"Sure thing, man. Least I can do." There's a long pause and then Two-Bit says in a low voice, "Don't worry, Darry. I got him."

XxX

We're on our way into the city the next morning when Two-Bit abruptly pulls off the main highway, taking a winding side road. "Hey, where're we going, Two-Bit?"

"Shoot kid, you told me the first thing you wanted to do was see the ocean didn't ya?"

Grinning, he taps his window and instantly I sit up straight in my seat. Up ahead is a sight I've never seen in person before: the ocean. The water blends in with the blue of the sky on the horizon and all of a sudden I realize the realness of it all.

XxX

My brother's pale, staring into the bathroom mirror. At least I think it's our bathroom. It's fuzzy, the edges blur and then Ponyboy reaches out placing both palms against the mirror. I tell him, No, stop it, when suddenly the glass shatters beneath his hands. He looks confused and then asks, Darry?

"Ponyboy!"

My alarm goes off, jolting me up with violent shock. Dazed, I reach out, pounding my clock into silence. I sit, frozen, the remnants of my dream drifting away.

XxX

The waves roll onto the shore, slapping gently at the sand like a rhythmic drum. The ocean's swallowed up in a thick gray fog curling around the miles of beach. It's chilly; making me glad I remembered a jacket for once. The beach is mostly deserted except for a girl walking her dog a few yards away from us.

Two-Bit sits beside me, staring out at the water, one of his hands making small sand piles. "Well kid, what do you think of the ocean?"

"Vast." That one word pretty much sums it up.

He gives me a sidelong glance, smiling thoughtfully. He's wearing the same sort of _am-I-really-here? _awe inspiringexpression I am. "It is pretty cool, ain't it? Hell, I never thought I'd be seeing the Atlantic ocean in my time."

"Pacific, Two-Bit."

"Potato, Potatoh…"

"No, not really…" But I bite my tongue to avoid telling Two-Bit about the differences between oceans.

With a shrug, Two-Bit dips his head, engrossed in the sand, his hands shaping and shifting it until I see what he's really doing. I laugh at Two-Bit's sand creations; the small round piles are clearly two boobs.

"Nice job there, Michelangelo."

Two-Bit examines his work. "Thanks. I thought so too."

We're quiet then, taking in the choppy, rushing water. A seagull screams overhead and I glance up at the dim sky. I look back out at the ocean, pulling my knees into my chest and wrapping my arms around my legs.

"I wish Darry could see this."

XxX

Pardon typos.

Please read and review.

Also, thanks to all who voted for my stories in the Outsider FanFiction Awards. Thanks for making "Fault Line" the Best Ponyboy! Woot! Woot!

Congrats to all who won!


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimers: SE Hinton owns The Outsiders. Cursing below.

Thanks for all the reviews and staying with this story. I still have quite a bit left and I hope you'll continue reading.

Long chapter below. Buckle up.

XxX

XIII. The Beat Goes On

"What about these?"

Grimacing, I stick a tongue out at the sunglasses Two-Bit's trying on. They're bright red cat-eyes with pitch black lenses and diamond studs in the corners. "Um, I think that gives the wrong impression, Two-Bit."

He whips them off like James Bond would and hangs them back on the rack. "I just can't win with you."

"Whatever, man," I tell him before scooting off to the cash register to buy some postcards to send back to Darry and Sodapop. One features two bikini clad blondes and the other is of the Golden Gate Bridge. I pause and turn back to grab another. This one has a picture of the San Francisco Library; I smirk, I'll send it to Steve.

I pay for the postcards and we exit the gift shop. After the beach, Two-Bit and I decided to make our way to Haight-Ashbury. We had heard about it on the news a couple of years ago and wanted to see for ourselves what all the fuss was about.

I have to admit, it's pretty damn cool despite the media claiming the hubbub had died down since what they called the Summer of Love. It reminds me of The Pass back in Tulsa; anyone and everyone's walking around the district. Hippies, dopers, mother's with their kids, bikers, business men with briefcases…

Two-Bit seems both amused and wary by the plethora of people on the sidewalk. I know Darry would hate it since he likes his own little bubble and I start to wonder how he did camping.

Two-Bit rubs his hands together. "Let's get some grub, Pony. I'm starving." He stops in the middle of the sidewalk, causing the person behind him to bump into his back. The person – a grungy guy in leather – mutters a choice curse, giving Two-Bit and me a nasty glare. He pushes past us, knocking me hard on the shoulder. He keeps walking but I see Two-Bit's eyes narrow, mouth open, and I grab his bicep.

"Don't, Two-Bit," I warn.

"Oh that's right," Two-Bit sings, all traces of annoyance gone. "I forgot we're not in Tulsa anymore, are we, Dorothy?" He wraps an arm around my neck and I blush as a cute girl wearing bell bottoms turn around. She smirks and flashes me a peace sign before joining a group of friends.

"Knock it off," I hiss, pulling away. Hurriedly, I look up, eyes brushing past the signage on the street, hunting for a restaurant so Two-Bit can get food into him and shut his trap.

That's when I see the sign in big, bright psychedelic letters—

_SOS: A Vinyl Experience. _

XxX

I don't see Daniels until lunch break. And even then he's not in the break room. He's out in the parking lot, sitting in the bed of his truck and picking at his sandwich.

"Hey." I bang on the hood as I approach and he nods a hello.

"Hey." He's about to take a bite of his sandwich, and then reconsidering, crumples it back up in its wrapping paper and tosses it into the dirt lot. "Shit, getting back to the grind is tough."

"How's Billy doin?"

"Wouldn't know," Daniels grunts. "Haven't seen him since he left camp. You get to catch up with your brothers?"

"Not as much as I wanted to." Daniels shoots me a questioning look and so I give in, telling him about Ponyboy's disappearing act. When I'm done, Teddy Daniels is shaking his head, an impressed smile on his face.

"And you're fine with him just taking off like that?"

"Hell no, I'm not fine with it. But like I told Soda, I can't do anything from here."

Daniels leans towards me. "Don't you ever…well, I'm gonna ask, Darrel and it's a shit thing to ask..." He holds a hand up, "But I'm a curious guy. Do you ever wish you didn't get guardianship?"

I've allowed myself to think about this idea maybe only two or three times since my parents died; but it's never been serious, only a passing thought, a tantrum thrown when things got tough with one of my brothers. Already this conversation is turning my blood cold, as if just by having it the State will get smart and sniff out Ponyboy's absence.

I bristle. "No way. Sure, I've thought _what-if_? but I'd never wish for it." Daniels cracks an apologetic smile and I sigh. "Man, you don't know how bad I wanted to wring Ponyboy's neck. Still do. But I just want him to get home first before I do it."

Daniels laughs. "That takes some pretty big balls, Darry, being that understanding."

"I'm trying, Ted," I admit.

"Maybe I need to take a lesson."

"Maybe you do."

XxX

"Hi, uh, excuse me," I ask the clerk at the counter.

"One sec," the guy mutters. He's shuffling through records, his back facing me.

Two-Bit's lingering in the doorway of the record shop, looking impatient. "You don't even own a record player, Pony so it's beyond me why you're so interested in vinyl all of a sudden." He groans. "Kid, my stomach's gonna eat itself pretty damn quick, can we just—"

The clerk turns around, maybe 20-ish, scruffy brown beard and stringy brown hair. He gives Two-Bit a nod. "There's a great taco joint, two shops down. "Cosmic Joe's. You should check it out."

"Go," I tell Two-Bit. "Get me one."

He eyes me warily. "Ok, but stay here."

"Two-Bit, don't—"

"I know you, kid. Don't move. Plant yourself. I'll be back." With that, he's out the door, chimes jangling.

There's a soft snort from behind the counter and the clerk asks, "Your brother seems pretty paranoid."

"Close enough," I mutter, propping a hand on the glass countertop. "He's just hungry."

"Aren't we all. Now, what can I do for you?"

"I know this is weird…but uh, does a guy named Joey work here?"

The clerk grins. "Shit yeah. He owns this place. How do you know Joey?"

"I met him in—"

"Hey, Joey!" The clerk hollers, craning his head towards a back office. "You got a rug rat out here asking for ya." I roll my eyes at the comparison and then the clerk's saying, "I'm Lincoln – Link – like the president." Sticking his hand out, he gives me a once over, a smile spreading across his face. "And I can bet you're not from around here."

"Just visiting," I tell him, taking his hand. "I'm—"

"Just Curtis!" a voice interrupts. Stepping out from behind the counter is Joey, the driver who picked up a hitch-hiking me not more than a week or so ago. It could be an eternity. "Christ on the cross, it's good to see you."

I'm taken aback when he gives me a brief hug; the way this guy's acting we could have been best friends for the past 10 years. Not to mention, he remembers someone he met for maybe 15 minutes in Tulsa, Oklahoma no less.

Joey slaps Link's arm. "This is the kid from Tulsa." Link says _ahhh_ and Joey laughs. "What're you doing here? Want me to pay for your library fine?"

"No...I sorta, uh, got inspired. Took a trip."

"Well, hell!" Joey says. "That's what I like to hear. I knew you were a cool kid. Finding my place…looking me up…"

I have to laugh. "Honestly, I had no clue. I just found the store by accident."

"There's no such thing as an accident, Just Curtis." I frown at that, wanting to ask what Joey means when he asks, "So you like my store?"

"Yeah, it's great…but uh…" I still have one question that gets me. "If you live here…what were you doing in Tulsa?"

"Ah, that. My ma lives in Arkansas." Joey slides a hand smoothly across the air. "Just a visitor travelin through." He eyes me, a cool grin spreading across his face. "Tell you what, you should stay with me. I got a place—"

"Thanks but I already have a place to stay." I don't know why but I feel the need to add, "Sorry."

"No worries. You'll _hang_ with us then."

I grin, finding myself enthusiastically agreeing. "Yeah, that'd be great. Real great." Joey's electric; I have to give him that. Whatever he says, it's interesting and he's earnest.

"Surfing," Joey nods. "Later today. We close up around three."

"Oh, I don't—"

"C'mon Just Curtis!" Joey reaches over the counter and grabs a record. He checks the title and then hands it to an employee passing by. "We'll show you the ropes. You gotta go with the flow." Joey chuckles. "You ain't never done that before have you?"

"Maybe," I tell him, thinking of Windrixville. "But I don't think it counts."

"Well, then, stick with us." Joey raises a brow. "We'll show you how to live."

"Who's doing what now?" Turning, I see Two-Bit entering _SOS_, a wrapped taco in one hand, the red cat-eye sunglasses in the other.

"Oh, you didn't," I groan.

"I did." He moves closer, passing the taco to me. His eyes flash to Joey briefly and then swivel back my way. "What'd you sign us up for now, kid?"

XxX

I'm on my way out of work when Teddy Daniels jogs up to the window of my truck. "Shit Darrel, I almost forgot." He holds out a white piece of paper.

"What's this?"

"It's yours," he says, grinning like a Cheshire cat as I take it. "Pearl's number. She wanted me to give it to you."

XxX

"Two-Bit."

"Joey."

The two of them shake hands and I watch in amusement as Two-Bit sizes Joey up. "You gave the kid a lift huh?"

"Sure did. Saved him from the mean streets of Tulsa," Joey says.

Two-Bit grunts in agreement and then eyes me. "So what are you two cookin up?"

Joey nods my way. "I told Just Curtis here we'd give him some surfing lessons."

Two-Bit arches a brow. "Really?" He begins laughing, holding his stomach, wiping fake tears from his eyes. "Ponyboy?" He points at me.

"Pony-what?" Link asks, confused.

"What's so funny?" I snap.

"Oh man," Two-Bit drawls, clapping Joey on the shoulder good-naturedly. "This kid can barely stand on his own two feet. You think he can balance on a board?"

"Ain't no harm in trying," Joey says with a shrug. "And if surfing ain't your style we got a few parties up our sleeve."

Two-Bit's ears perk up, a sneaky smile crossing his face at the mention of a party. He rubs his hands together greedily. "That I think I can do." He gives me a glance. "How's that sound, Pone?"

"Like a plan, Two-Bit."

XxX

I pick up the phone and put it back on the receiver. Again. And back down. Shit, I just can't do this right now. Get a grip, I tell myself. I'm preparing to actually dial this time when Soda and Steve enter the room. I ball up Pearl's phone number, crumpling it in my palm and shoving it in my back pocket.

"What're you doin, Dar?" Soda asks.

"Nothing. Why?"

"We should go to The Pass."

"What? Soda, I got stuff to do—"

"Like what?" Steve's smirking. "Cook dinner for the kid? He ain't here, Dar. And we can grab a burger on our way."

Soda's brown eyes are happy. "Come on, Dar. Steve's right. Live a little."

"Alright, fine." I throw up my hands, annoyed and amused at everyone's attempt to entertain me, like I have nothing better to do since Ponyboy's gone. "Let's go."

XxX

To kill some time before meeting Joey at the beach later this afternoon we end up at the zoo. Neither of us has been before. I shuffle my feet, walking past the animal exhibits. It's a bit lonely staring at animals trapped in cages and I think I know how they feel.

"You sure you wanna try surfing?" Two-Bit asks, interrupting my daydream. "You think those joker's know what they're talking about?"

"Sure they do. 'Sides it's nice to know someone, ain't it?"

"Yeah, suppose you're right," Two-Bit admits and I eye him with curiosity. Two-Bit's been pretty easy to travel with so far, letting me drag him places all over the city and I decide to ask him the question I've been wondering about for a while.

"Two-Bit? What do you like to do?"

"What's that now?" We're paused in front of the baboon exhibit, Two-Bit watching two baboons wrestling with each other across their fake desert landscape.

"What do you like to do?"

Giving me a questioning look, he turns, resting his back against the wall and crossing his arms in front of his chest. "What're you talking about, kid?"

"I mean…for fun?"

"Well…you know…drink, fight, play cards…hang out…" He shrugs. "The usual I guess."

"No…I mean…" I frown and pause.

I've come to realize I don't even know what Two-Bit's interests are. I know he likes beer and blondes and fighting and parties…but as for actual hobbies…I ain't got the slightest. It seems as if everything he does is for someone else. He's always hanging around with Steve and Sodapop at the track or the bars or with me at the movies or the arcade.

And I'd feel pretty lousy if we went this whole trip with me dragging him around to all my sightseeing spots without him putting a word in.

"Yeah, but…what do you like _to do_? Like hobbies or something." An amused smile spreads across Two-Bit's face as I continue, "I mean, are there any museums you want to go to? Or maybe we could find a beer factory but I don't know where we'd find one and that would mean—"

Two-Bit cuts me off with a chuckle. "Pony, you're giving me too much credit. I'm easy. I like whatever you do."

"No—but..." I sigh in exasperation. "That's not an answer. You just can't like something because someone else does."

He laughs again. "Shit, Pony. You got a lot to learn about women."

"Damn it. I'm not talking about women, Two-Bit…"

"Kiddo…"

"Just name _one_ thing. One thing _you_ like."

He grins and swivels his head as the baboons begin shrieking at each other.

"C'mon, Two-Bit," I groan. "You're killing me here."

"Ok, Pony," he says. "I like bowling."

"Bowling?"

"Bowling."

XxX

"You should call her, Dar," Soda admonishes. "I can't believe you." My brother's hanging on the fence, distracted, watching the cars fly by.

"I will," I mutter.

"Well, do you like her?"

"I don't even know her, Soda. We barely said two words to each other."

"Sometimes that's the best part," Steve interjects, looking wolfish. "I say, don't call her. Girls like the chase."

"Yeah," I snort. "I'll be sure and tell Evie that the next time I run into her."

Soda laughs into his fist, slapping his best friend on the back. "Stevie, Evie's got you wrapped around her little finger."

Steve glowers. "Yeah, that's funny. I'd say the same thing about you and Ponyboy." With that, Steve stalks off, pushing past people angrily.

"What's up his ass?" I ask Soda, puzzled by Steve's sudden outburst.

"They're just fighting a lot," Soda explains, glancing my way and shrugging. "He's touchy."

"What about you? You got a girl?"

Soda's playing with his lighter, flicking it off and on. His hair keeps falling in his face and instead of brushing it away, he lets it hang there. "No, not now. Not sure when."

I leave it at that; he's not over Sandy and I'm not going to push. You'd think two years would solve it but Johnny and Dallas still leave a hole so I'm not sure why I expected Sandy to be over and done with.

"It ain't no picnic, I know that."

Suddenly, Soda moans and dips his forehead against the fence, like he's forgetting something. "Aw, shit, Darry."

"What? What'd I say?"

"Jesus." Soda smears a hand down his face. "The day I was here with Ponyboy…he said the exact same goddamn thing. And I didn't even listen to him…" Soda's dark brown eyes move back and forth as if he's recounting the conversation. "I was too busy lookin at the stupid cars."

"Soda, don't beat yourself up. You talking to him wouldn't have changed a thing. He still would've taken off."

"I guess he's got some stuff to get out of his system."

"Yeah. Not sure why he has to do it halfway 'round the country," I mutter, once again feeling the sting of Ponyboy running away from me.

"He looks up to you Dar, you know that." Soda says, grinning. "He does too; he's just too damn stubborn to admit it."

Suddenly, Soda's eyes widen and he points at a passing Cutlass, ready to drag race. "Oh, shit, is that Steve?"

XxX

"I can't believe you talked me into this," Two-Bit mutters.

"I thought you were fine with it at the zoo. There's beer," I point out, nodding at two girls carrying a cooler across the beach. "And they're blonde."

"That's true but you and I both know we ain't surfers."

"We can try. Besides we're meeting people."

"Yeah, we are."

"And we're going to the party tomorrow night."

"Yeah, we are," Two-Bit says again, this time sounding loads happier. If anything can get some pep into him it's the mention of a party.

I take a step closer to the water, where Link and Joey are waving us in, only to find Two-Bit rooted to his spot. "Oh, come on; let's at least go swimming…"

"Fuck that. I'll sit on the beach and drink my beer." Suddenly, Two-Bit groans in agony. "Ah, you gotta be shitting me. It's Coors Light."

"I guess that takes this experience down two notches, doesn't it?" I tell him dryly, fed up with Two-Bit acting like an old man. "I'm gonna go, ok? I thought you'd at least be having fun."

"Cold water ain't my style." Two-Bit settles onto the sand, exhaling loudly. This time he sounds contrite. "Sure, Pony. I'll catch up. Go get wet and freeze your ass off."

XxX

"We're pretty low-key," Link's telling me. "Just wait for a wave and let it rock."

I nod, teeth chattering, as a red-headed girl bobs up to me in the surf. Her name's Denise. "It's easy, Just Curtis. Joey's been doing this a long time. He ain't no expert but he's pretty good. He'll help you out."

As I'm wondering how Joey's nickname for me has got out so fast, she swims away, over to Joey, giving him a kiss and then grabbing her surfboard.

We're in shallow water, floating in the salty ocean. The whole introduction to surfing is pretty informal – get in and use the surfboard. Something tells me these guys don't exactly play it by the book. I glance at Two-Bit; he's sitting at the edge of the beach, chatting up the blonde cooler girls. Now in a good mood, he waves to me and I wave back.

Joey swims up to me. He wipes his stringy wet hair out of his face. "How's it hanging?"

"Great…" I say, a stupid grin on my face.

"Kid, don't go in deep. Just belly surf, got it? Slow and steady." Joey glances back at a husky guy swimming over to us. "Mac's learning too. Link'll show you both."

"Sure," I nod eagerly. Already, I'm finding myself liking Joey. He throws himself into everything, no fear, no worries. He's like no one I've ever known before and I dig it.

I'm excited; the sun's come out. The afternoon, the people, like something out of a book.

Unpredictable and entertaining.

XxX

"Hey, kid," Two-Bit hollers. "Watch this!" He dives underneath the water; he's in the shallow end, and I watch as bubbles float to the surface. He surfaces, wiping wet hair out of his eyes. "Did it look like I farted?"

Mac asks, "Is he your friend?" Stone-faced, he stares at Two-Bit.

I want to kill Two-Bit. But instead I say, "Yeah. He is." I finally get Two-Bit in the water and he's making fart jokes. But at least he's having fun.

Mac shrugs. He's one of Link's pals, although I have no idea what he's doing trying to surf. His glasses are covered in water and they keep slipping off his nose. And every five minutes he keeps clearing his throat as if he has something in it. He's clean cut and pudgy making me think of one of those buoys bobbing around in the water.

"Okay," Link yells over, getting my attention. He points at thick wave rolling in the distance. "Get on your board. Just float, let it take you…"

"Oh my god, it's coming…" Mac whispers. "Oh…no, no, no. I can't do this…"

I give him a wary glance. "Man, it'll be ok. Just listen to Link." I climb on the board, getting my balance as best I can and soon the confident feeling is suddenly sucked away as I see the approaching wave. It's big. It's really, really big.

"Oh shit," I mutter, trying to paddle backwards out of the deep end as fast as possible without betraying my calm exterior. Although, the calmness fades quickly as the wave grows larger and closer. "What the hell am I doing?" I squeak aloud, catching Two-Bit's attention.

His brow furrows. "Uh, Pony…" He points at the wave.

"Yeah, I know!" I squeeze my eyes shut, bracing myself, as the rolling wave crashes over me, salt water choking my mouth and eyes.

XxX

Pardon typos.

Thanks for reading and please do the whole fabulous review thing.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimers: SE Hinton owns the Outsiders. Cursing, adult situations below…

Many thanks for the read and the reviews. Please keep it up.

XIV. Fallin' and Flyin'

I sputter, gasp for air and find myself bobbing far out in the ocean, waves crashing at my back, pushing me against invisible forces. "God," I half-laugh, half-choke, trying to get my balance, exhilarated with what I've just done.

Suddenly there's a tug at my body and my head goes under. I re-surface, choking, only to find Mac grabbing at my shoulders, pulling, shoving me under so he can stay afloat. He's panicking, struggling and I can't get him off.

"Calm down, man!" I shout, trying to jerk out of his grasp. To my right I see Joey and Link swimming furiously over but they're far enough away that I'm getting scared.

Mac's mouth looks like a shocked fish, sucking in hair. He dunks me again and this time I'm under, sinking, taking in the ocean until my chest wants to burst, so full, heavy and hurting…

I fight; I try and push up, shoot up like a rocket but he's stronger than me and I feel my lungs getting heavy. Then bubbles above me, something furious moving and I'm getting tugged upward, towards the sun.

I break through the water, choking, clawing for anything to stay afloat.

"Get the hell off him!" Two-Bit's shouting. His fist connects with Mac's nose and my friend shoves him away, into Joey and Link who've finally arrived.

I can't speak; I'm coughing too hard to say anything. Instead, I shake my head, trying to grasp onto the bobbing surfboard. "Here, here…" Joey shoves the board into my palms and I'm aware of a hand rubbing my back as we all push to shore.

"Mac, you stupid idiot!" I hear Denise scream far behind me.

Finally, I feel the sand beneath my knees and I crab crawl onto shore, still coughing, salt water stinging my eyes. When all fours are touching sand, like a cat, I stay like that, coughing, letting out the water.

"Pony, are you okay? God damn it…" The hand's on my back again, rubbing slowly.

"Ah, hell," I moan, finally finding my voice.

Two-Bit dips his head to look at me. His eyes are big and gray, mirroring the now-dark sky. "You gonna die on me, kid?"

"No, Two—" Another cough. "I'm okay. I just need to quit smoking…"

"Yeah, that's it." Two-Bit glances behind him at the surf where Mac and Link and a few others are climbing onto shore. "I'm gonna kill that guy."

"I'm okay. Don't worry about it, Two-Bit." I flop over, sitting on my butt in the wet sand. I rub my face, my eyes, saltwater and sand mixing.

There's soft padded footsteps and then Joey's on his knees next to me. "Here," he says, draping a jacket across my shoulders. "Shit," he tells Two-Bit. "Mac's a goddamn idiot. You're lucky you saw them."

"No, you're lucky," Two-Bit shoots back. "That's bullshit, letting the kid—"

"Hey, I'm sorry, man," Joey says, holding out a hand. "It's my fault. I never should have left him alone."

Two-Bit's jaw is tight but he shakes Joey's hand. "Goddamn right."

XxX

"Who's that?" Soda asks as I pull the truck into the driveway. Steve cranes his neck to get a better view of the girl sitting on the front step. Short-cropped blonde hair, unsmiling face…

"It's Pearl," I tell them, ignoring their shocked glances.

"She's stalking you," Soda whispers. But he sounds happy about it.

"Nice going, Darry," Steve says as I cut the engine. "She looks pretty…well, pretty angry if you ask me." Soda wolf whistles, popping the passenger's side door and climbing out.

"No," I sigh, wishing the two of them weren't here at the moment. "She just naturally looks like that." I crack my door, slowly emerging. Seeing me, Pearl flicks a wave and stands as the three of us approach, smoothing her hands down the front of her jeans.

"You never called," she says. But it doesn't sound like a lecture; just fact.

"I just got your number today. I was going to."

There's a snort from behind me and suddenly Soda's pushing forward. "I'm Sodapop Curtis, Darry's brother and this here is Steve."

Steve nods at Pearl and she fixes me with an amused grin. It's closed-lipped and tight but it's a real smile. "These are your brothers?"

I have to laugh. "Yeah. But this one's blood." I point at Sodapop. "The other two are MIA at the moment," I tell her, knowing that if Two-Bit were here right now, he'd be launching into a fake name and some ridiculous story.

Pearl takes off her sunglasses, considering. "Hmmm. Well, are you gonna invite me inside, Darrel?"

XxX

Wanda's on her way out when we walk in. "My, oh, my," she drawls, taking in my wet hair and clothes. "What on earth happened to you?" She pats my shoulder as Two-Bit practically shoves me in the living room.

"Water incident," Two-Bit says. "Towels?"

"Back shelf of the linen closet." Two-Bit darts off in search of a towel. Wanda pulls her keys out, talking louder so Two-Bit can hear her. "I have the late shift tonight. See you boys tomorrow. Keep out of trouble."

"Too late," I mutter as she pulls the front door shut, locking it. Despite trying to dry off at the beach, I'm still cold and wet. Not to mention I can practically feel Two-Bit wanting to gloat. I break into a sneeze.

"Pone!" Two-Bit launches a towel at me and I catch it awkwardly. "Dry off." He plops on the couch, kicking his feet on top of the glass coffee table, flecks of sand spilling out of his jeans. He watches me run the towel over my face and then says, "You know…"

Eyes narrowing, I pause from rubbing my wet hair. "Don't start…"

"I was only planning to say that maybe it wasn't the brightest idea to take a surfing lesson. That's all. Nothing else."

"Maybe so. But it was still fun." It was. Despite Mac the Idiot, I surfed. I have a story; I tried something different.

Two-Bit arches a brow. "Oh yeah? You got your kicks when that stupid shit was dragging you to the bottom of the ocean?"

Scowling, I throw him back the wet towel. "Just shut up, Two-Bit." I'm beginning to feel like it's Darry I'm bickering with and know that whatever Darry told Two-Bit, Two-Bit's taking it seriously. Clearly, Darry knocked some strict into him.

Two-Bit chews his lip and then shrugs his shoulders. "We should go get some food, kid. It's still early."

"Sure," I nod.

"You should call your brothers too."

Sure."

XxX

Pearl's staring at the photos of my parents on the fireplace mantle. I shift awkwardly; she's giving them so much intense attention that it's making me nervous. She picks one frame up, examining. The photo is of me, Sodapop, and our mother, pregnant with Ponyboy at the time.

Pearl taps my mother's stomach. "Where's this one?"

"He's at camp," I lie. I'm not stupid; I know the more people I tell, the better the chance the State will get wind of it. I'm paranoid like that but no one would blame me.

She moves to another picture. "This him?" It's Ponyboy, maybe 13 years old, one of our mother's candid shots. He's on the porch, smoking a cigarette and reading a book, his face highlighted in shadows.

"Yeah, that's him."

"He looks deep."

Taken aback and before I can ask what she means, Pearl sets the frame back down. "Your folks sure seemed like nice people. Sorry to hear about what happened. But I bet you get that all the time, don't you?"

"Yeah, so much sometimes that it doesn't even register anymore."

"I can dig that." Eyes wandering, Pearl suddenly points at a picture of me in high school. I'm on the football field, dressed in my uniform. "You played?"

Behind me the phone rings, Soda answers it and I start telling Pearl about my fourth quarter touchdown against the Central High Braves.

XxX

"Hey, kiddo!"

"Hey, Sodapop! How're you?"

Soda's voice turns sour. "I'm good…but hey, as happy as I am to hear from you, I keep forgetting I'm supposed to be mad at you for up and disappearing like you did."

That's right; I haven't talked to Sodapop since I left. Wincing, I pull the phone tighter and sit down in the kitchen. I'm still damp and not wanting to get any of Wanda's furniture wet, I take a seat on the cool linoleum next to the fridge.

"Sorry…"

"Why didn't you talk to me before you took off? I know I've been busy but—"

"Hey, no, it's not your fault, dummy." Soda chuckles on the other end of the phone and I continue. "I guess I just didn't feel like talking." I lower my voice. "So is Darry going to kill me?"

"Yeah, he just might. I'll probably help."

I laugh. "Well, that really makes me want to hurry back."

"Don't get any bright ideas," Soda says, voice tinged in amusement. "So, how's California, kid? Having fun?"

"It's pretty great. It's a whole lot different than Tulsa, I'll tell you that."

"Doing anything cool?"

"Well…" I hesitate to tell and then decide to share. "I tried surfing today. It was nuts! The waves just kept getting bigger and bigger and then when they hit…it was wild…"

"So did you actually surf?"

"No," I admit with a laugh. "I just got tossed around a little bit." From somewhere in the house, Two-Bit sing-songs, "_Liar…!_" and I scowl at his eavesdropping tactics.

"I'm glad you're having fun, Pony," Soda says, calling my attention back to the phone. His voice sounds sad and I frown. "Just don't forget to come home, kid, you savvy?"

"I won't, Sodapop." I grip the phone tight. "Is Darry there?"

Soda laughs. "He's busy right now. I don't want to bother him."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. He's got a girl over here."

I nearly drop the phone.

XxX

The next morning, Wanda takes us out to breakfast. We go to one of her favorites spots down on Fisherman's Wharf. Two-Bit gets pancakes and bacon and I get eggs and French toast and when we're done we're both proclaiming it the best meal we've ever had.

From there we end up spending the entire day walking around the Wharf. Wanda's fun; showing us the sites, taking us around. And I get a rare view of Two-Bit: attentive, sweet to his aunt, trying to make up for what she lost.

At lunch, Two-Bit suggests we go see a movie and I nearly choke on my Pepsi. But we do; deciding to see _True Grit_. Wanda actually enjoys the movie as much as I do, the two of us chatting about the film the entire Trolley ride back to the house.

Then the day winds to night and soon we're driving to Joey's party. Two-Bit, all geared up for a night of booze and blondes, smells like he bathed in a bottle of cologne. I wrinkle my nose and end up sneezing a few times in succession.

Two-Bit glances my way. "Don't you get sick on me. That's the last thing I need to tell Darry about."

"I'm not. It's your cologne. You smell like sweat."

"That's not what the ladies say."

XxX

"Going out with Pearl?" Soda asks with a grin. He's in the kitchen, hunched over at the table, circling ads in the newspaper.

"Yeah," I grunt, buttoning my shirt up. "I think dinner…or something."

"That's good, Dar. She seems…interesting."

Interesting is right. The other night, she had ended up hanging out at the house for a few hours, asking questions, just intent on doing whatever we did. Finally we drank some beers and watched a movie on TV. Not exactly what I had in mind for our first date but apparently she didn't seem to care.

Soda scribbles something on the newspaper. "What're you doing, Soda?"

"Looking for spare parts. Steve and I are—"

I hold a hand up. "Don't tell me. This way I can claim ignorance when you get arrested for whatever the two of you are cooking up."

Soda grins. "You're so smart, Darry."

Soda saying "smart" automatically triggers thoughts of my youngest brother and I frown. "Hey, has Pony called lately?"

"Oh yeah, he called yesterday. I talked to him. He seemed good. Went surfing."

Surfing?

"He did?" I glance at the fridge, Two-Bit's aunt's number still tacked to the freezer door. "Why didn't you let me talk to him?"

"Aw, shoot, Dar. I didn't want to interrupt you and Pearl. You know…young love and all…"

I shake my head, grabbing my wallet and pocketing it. "Soda," I tell my brother as I make my way for the front door, "You're getting as bad as Two-Bit."

Grinning, Soda shouts, "I won't wait up, big brother!"

XxX

It's a real party, alright.

The beach house is small, two levels, with kids filtering in and out, yelling and hollering, smoking and drinking. The air smells like pot. Already it seems wilder than most parties I've been too; and that's not saying much seeing as how I haven't been too many.

Two-Bit's grinning, surveying the scene. We move inside, deeper into the mess of people and I scan the crowd for Joey. A group of kids are walking around handing out plastic cups. I take one, the red juice inside sloshing over the rim.

"It's Peace Punch," a black girl tells me. Raising the cup, I take a sniff.

"Okay, listen…" Two-Bit takes the cup away from me. "Don't drink this."

"Two-Bit, I wasn't—"

"Pony, it's probably spiked to high heaven with whatever hippie shit they're using. So, don't drink anything they give you or take any pills."

I cross my arms, amused and annoyed at his lecture. "I ain't stupid, man."

Two-Bit eyes me carefully. "You hear me kid? Drink a beer, I don't give a shit. Drink two. Darry ain't here to bug you; I know you'll be smart. Just don't drink the punch." Looking around, he spies a garbage can and trashes both our cups.

"Excuse me good sir," Two-Bit asks a random boy. "Can you point me in the direction of the beer?" The boy doesn't say anything and Two-Bit looks stricken. "You have beer here, right? Please God…"

I tug Two-Bit's sleeve. "It's over there." There's a large cooler on the stairs, kids pooling around it, cracking open Bud Light's.

"Hallelujah!" Two-Bit praises. "See? You come in handy, kid. Now go get me a beer."

Laughing, I give him a shove. "Get your own beer."

Then there's a shout from across the room and Joey's waving, making his way over to us. I grin. Two-Bit claps me on the shoulder. "Let's have some fun, kiddo."

XxX

Two-Bit's in the corner chatting with a blonde girl. She's in a short skirt, a tattoo snaking its way up the back of her calf, wrapping around her thigh and I'm beginning to wonder what Two-Bit's getting into. She kind of scares me.

Joey hands me my second beer. "So Just Curtis, I throw a pretty cool party or what?"

"Yeah, I dig it Joey." I take a drag of my smoke and a suck of the beer. I have to admit, I'm enjoying my newfound freedom. Two-Bit may be around but he's not watching me like a hawk and I have friends who don't see me as Darry and Soda's kid brother.

It's an interesting feeling.

"Whose place is this?" I ask before ending up in a sneeze.

Joey points at Denise who's talking up one of her girlfriends. "Her mom's and sister's. Her mom's an actress in Los Angeles so Denise gets free reign." Joey looks at me. "So you thinking about moving out here?"

"Oh, uh, no, no," I stammer, the question catching me off guard. "I gotta go back to Tulsa. This is just a break."

"You think you're finding what you wanted?"

"Maybe. I think so."

"Well, you're better than me, Just Curtis. I could never stay put, just settle. I have to keep moving, see what's out there." Joey pats my head and I want to yell; why does everyone keep doing that?

"Yeah," I mumble, suddenly feeling confused and lonely. "I think I'll figure it out."

"Shit, figuring it out is easy," Joey says. "Getting it is the hard part." Joey's eyes are bright red, like the Peace Punch and I know he's so stoned he probably doesn't know what he's saying.

But then I don't know why he sounds so right.

XxX

I go down to the beach to get away from the noise. But it still follows me, the voices screaming in my head. It came on fast but all of a sudden I feel lost. And it could be the beers I've had or the conversation with Joey but now I'm not sure what I want to do.

Did I run away because I don't want to face something, instead of trying to find it?

Whatever the question, I sure as hell don't have the answer. I sit on the sand and watch the waves roll in.

XxX

When I pick Pearl up, she's carrying a long black bag. She slings it into the bed of the truck and when I ask what's inside she just smiles and says, "You'll see, Darry. You'll see."

Pearl tells me she doesn't want dinner and instead has an idea for our first date. She points me in the direction of the Lake – the very one Ponyboy goes to daydream at – and I steer the truck down there.

She cranks on the radio, singing lightly to The Monkee's _The Last Train to Clarksville_. "What?" she asks, catching me watching her.

"You don't seem like the type to like this song." I chuckle, taking a left down the rocky bank.

"Oh yeah?" She crosses her arms. "What is my type?"

"I figured you for a more _The Doors_ or Janis Joplin type girl."

"Whatever moves me," Pearl says, giving me a look. "I like it."

XxX

"Can I sit here?"

I glance up at the voice; it's a brown-haired girl in a white peasant blouse, a long bag slung over her shoulder. She's my age, maybe a year older. "Sure," I tell her. I watch her settle onto the sand and she smiles.

"I'm Denise's sister, Rachel."

It makes sense and I groan. "Did they tell you to come find me?"

"No," she says. "I followed you out here. You looked lonely. And it can be loud in there." Rachel digs her hands into the sand, letting the grains flow through her fingers.

She's really pretty and I blush, thankful it's dark so that she can't see my face. "So, you live here with your mom?" I ask her.

"Yeah."

"You like it?"

"Not really? That gets lonely too."

"I bet," I say, thinking of my brothers and suddenly missing them.

"You want a beer?" Rachel's face is lit up by her smile and I find myself saying yes. Then, before I know it, we start talking; our voices carrying in the wind, drowned out by the slapping waves.

XxX

"Oh shoot," Rachel says.

"What?"

She bites her lip. "We've been out here for two hours." She laughs. "I guess we're not lonely anymore."

I can't wipe the stupid smile off my face. "I guess not."

Standing, she brushes the sand off her jeans. "C'mon, let's go join the party." We walk back to the house, tromping through the sand and somewhere along the way she slips her hand in mine.

When we get inside, Joey and Denise come running over, laughing. "Well, well, look at the cute couple," Denise squeals, grabbing her sister by the shoulders. "Tell me the details, Rach." Giggling, Rachel begins whispering to her sister as they drift off into their group of friends.

I watch her leave, not sure what to make of the events. But then I remember the stories Soda used to tell me about parties and the girls and I figure things like this end just as quickly as they start. Either way, I still can't stop grinning.

"Leave him alone, Denise," Joey shouts, rolling his eyes. "Women."

I rub my clammy palm on my shirt. "Yeah, women." It's hot inside and I wipe my forehead. "You seen Two-Bit?"

"Him and that tatted broad went upstairs a while ago."

Grimacing, I eye the stairs. "I hope she doesn't beat him up." She didn't seem like Two-Bit's type but then again, we are in a different state. I guess you never know.

Joey waves a joint in my face. "You want a hit, Just Curtis?"

"No thanks," I tell him. He takes the hit and someone dims the lights and then Jimi Hendrix is playing on the record player.

XxX

"Wow, this is really cool."

"I know," Pearl breathes. "Isn't it? See that one…?"

"Yeah…it looks like a line…"

"That's Orion's belt, Darry. He's the hunter of the sky."

We're sitting on the roof of the truck, looking at constellations through Pearl's telescope. Never in a million years would I have thought I'd be doing something like this. It's more Ponyboy's style. But it's relaxing and I'm beginning to see why Pony likes stuff like this.

Pearl re-focuses the lens and lets me take another look. "Yeah, I see it," I tell her.

"Good. Keep looking." Pearl slides off the roof gently and disappears out of my sight but I can hear her rummaging in the bed of the truck.

"What're you doing?"

"I brought wine." Pearl appears in front of the truck, holding up a bottle of red. She smiles thinly yet she looks happy.

"How come you do that?" I ask as she starts climbing on the hood of the truck. Soda would shit himself if he saw that but I'm in too good of a mood to care.

"What?"

"Smile without showing your teeth?"

"Because they're crooked in front," Pearl says without a hint of embarrassment. "I hate it." Reaching the windshield, she holds a hand out to me. "Help me up."

I pull her back onto the roof. "You shouldn't care. I don't."

There's a long pause as Pearl considers. Then she smiles broadly, showing full white teeth, with one crooked in the middle. "Good," she says. "I'm real glad."

XxX

It's really hot and I can't seem to stop sweating. Or sneezing. I'm beginning to think Two-Bit's right, that I'm coming down with a cold. Damn you, Two-Bit.

It's nearly ten and the party's in full swing. Everyone's dancing to whatever vinyl Link puts on and some are passing around little pink pills. I steer clear of those. The beer's made my brain fuzzy and I really just want to leave, not in the mood anymore. I still haven't seen Two-Bit, which I think is strange because he's never been quiet for so long at a party.

I grab Joey. "Hey, you know where Two-Bit went?"

"I think he left."

"Left? What do you mean left?"

"As in he peaced it out."

"Shit," I swear. "Are you kidding me? I don't—" Here, I sneeze. "I don't believe him." Irritation begins to boil, not to mention anxiety at getting left alone out on the beach with about 50 people I don't know and the ten I do know are stoned out of their mind.

"You lookin to leave, Just Curtis?" Denise bounces over, red curls flopping, reminding me of Cherry Valance. "You feeling ok? Drink too much?"

"No, I'm okay," I say, glancing around. "I just—I just need to get out of here."

"Some kids just headed out for the night," Denise says. "I'm sure you can hitch a ride with them."

"Thanks."

"We'll tell Two-Bit you left," Joey calls out as I make for the door.

"Yeah, you do that," I shout back.

XxX

Pardon typos.

Please review. It'll make me do a jig.


	15. Chapter 15

Hey all – sorry it has been so long for this update. Got out of the groove and am now back (I hope).

Disclaimers: SE Hinton owns The Outsiders.

Please review and I will be much obliged.

XxX

XV. I'm Alright

My ride drops me off in front of Wanda's. I thank my lucky stars I was able to remember the directions back into the city. The kids in the jeep peel out and I wave back a _thanks _to their glowing taillights. I dig a key out of my pocket as I walk up to the front door. The light's are off inside as I let myself in; no Wanda or Two-Bit.

"Stupid Two-Bit," I mutter, annoyed at being deserted at the party on the beach. I knew Two-Bit was half-crazed but never thought he'd just leave me hanging for some girl.

Sneezing, I close the front door behind me, lock it and sit on the couch in the dark. Inside the still house, it's strange. I think it's one of the first times I've been alone in nearly a week…in a long time, really. And all of a sudden, I'm lonely, really lonely and missing my brothers something fierce.

_What am I doing here? _

I stare at my shadow on the wall and let out a breath of air. Then something inside of me twitches and I eye the phone on the kitchen wall.

XxX

It's late and the phone's ringing. And after my date with Pearl, that's about all I know. I toss the toothbrush from my mouth, its foamy contents spilling into the sink, as I run for the kitchen. Instinct kicks in: _Something's wrong_. _It's Ponyboy, I know it_.

I grab the receiver. "Ponyboy?"

There's a long pause and then, "Dar?" His voice is squeaky. "How'd you know it was me?"

"I just know, Ponyboy," I tell him, rubbing my temple. My heart's pounding, my breath heavy from running for the phone. "What's wrong? Everything okay?"

"Yeah, um…are you—? I mean…did I interrupt—?" He's stuttering and I frown, wondering what's going on with him when suddenly I wonder if Soda's told him about Pearl. Catching myself, I steady my breathing.

"I'm fine, kiddo. Just caught me getting ready for bed."

"Oh…okay…I, uh, I thought maybe you had—or were—"

I grin. "Soda told you about Pearl, huh?"

"Yeah, he did. That's good though, Dar," he rushes on. "You like her?"

"I do. Now, what's going on, Ponyboy?

"Nothing. I just…wanted to talk."

"Okay." I tug the phone cord into the kitchen and sit down at the table. Ponyboy's voice holds an undercurrent of something stronger. My brother may just say he's calling to "talk" but with Pony it's never that simple.

I have to admit, it scares me what he's planning to say next. So I jump in: "When're you planning to come back, Ponyboy?"

"You know when, Dar. Two days we're heading home. Don't worry, I'm coming back. Although I have been thinking about Alaska for my next trip…"

"Very funny. Well, you just make sure you're back and standing in this house by Sunday afternoon."

"Yeah, I figured you'd say that. You know, Dar, I don't think you'd like San Francisco. Too weird for you." There's a hint of a smirk in his voice, the smartass 15-year old that left a week ago and surprisingly I miss it. I miss him.

"You find what you were looking for out there?"

"Not yet. Not really." He sounds disappointed and as mad at him as I am for taking off like he did, I don't want him confused any more than I am.

"You know," he continues, "maybe I already had it. I mean it's cool being somewhere different but it just ain't home. Not by a long shot." The phone erupts with a sneeze and over the line I hear Pony mutter a curse.

"You getting sick?"

"I hope not." He sniffles and then says, "I wish you could have seen the ocean, Dar. It's really something."

"Maybe one day…"

"Yeah," Pony says. "We'll both go next time."

I smile, trying to imagine us somewhere in California, when Sodapop enters the house, closing the front door softly behind him when he sees I'm on the phone. _Ponyboy?_ Soda mouths. I give him a nod and he grins.

"—go…"

"Wait, what, Pony?"

"I should probably go. I don't want to be running up Two-Bit's aunt's phone bill."

"Sure, listen, Ponyboy—"

"I'll talk to you soon, Darry. Thanks."

I want to ask _what for?_ but he hangs up before I have the chance.

XxX

I turn the bathroom faucet on, dipping my head down to wash my face. A door slams somewhere in the house and I figure it's either Wanda or Two-Bit. I crank the water off and when I bring my face back up, Two-Bit's lounging in the doorway of the bathroom, all the lights in the house now turned on. I stare at him through the dripping water and grab a towel.

"Looks like you made it back," I say, my voice muffled as I dry my face off.

"Funny, I was gonna say the same thing about you."

I frown into the towel at the odd tone in Two-Bit's voice and then come up from the soft cotton. Two-Bit's eyes are steely gray and I squint to get a better picture of him; to see if he really looks as serious as I think he does.

Yup. He does.

"Jesus Christ, Pony," Two-Bit exclaims. "Why in the hell did you leave? I spent the last hour thinking you walked into the ocean or got picked up by a gang of hippies."

"You're the one I couldn't find. Where were you?"

Two-Bit turns red. "I was helpin a girl out."

I fix him with a cold stare, annoyed that I'm getting all the blame. "Yeah. I bet you were."

"Shit kid….That don't make it okay for you to just _leave_. I gotta keep tabs on you for the big guy."

"Denise and Joey said you left…I just figured…" I shrug. "Sorry."

"Yeah, those pot heads are all kinds of correct information."

I toss the towel on the ground. "What did you want me to do, Two-Bit? Wait around all night for you to get your rocks off?"

There's a long beat as Two-Bit's jaw tightens. Finally, he gives a nod. "Lordy, I'm beginning to see why Darry gets so worked up about you sometimes."

It's a punch to my gut and I feel myself flinch. "Thanks a lot." I step past him, ready to be done with this conversation.

An apology flickers across Two-Bit's face but before he can say any more I end up sneezing, three short bursts. "You should go to bed, kid," Two-Bit says, watching me closely. "It's been a long day."

XxX

The next morning, Two-Bit stops me at the door. My friend clears his throat. "Pone, where are you going?

"Out for a walk. Gonna mail those postcards." I show him the ones I bought on Haight/Ashbury, scribbled notes on the back for Darry, Sodapop and Steve. Still ticked off from last night, I let myself get one jab in. "Is that allowed?"

He scowls but moves back into the kitchen where his bowl of cereal is waiting. "I'll see you later, kid."

XxX

"Darry…Darry…" A voice whispers, low and soft. It's Ponyboy, standing in front of me, palms out, filled with brown dirt. I take a step backwards.

"What is it? What do you want?"

He smiles and retreats, stepping into the fountain from the park. The water comes up to his knees, soaking his pajama bottoms. "Pony, don't do that," I tell him, breaking from the spell and moving forward.

When I reach him, he coughs, catching sand in his palms. Roughly, I grab his hands, ready to inspect what damage is being done to my brother. But when I glance back up, I'm staring back at myself. "Pony—"

"Darry!" Soda hollers, causing me to jerk from my sleep. "Get up or you're gonna be late." Passing by in the hallway, he kicks my closed door with his boot and I sit up in bed, examining my shaky palms.

XxX

Morning fog swirls around my feet as I reach the mailbox a few blocks down the street from Wanda's. It's next to a convenience store and a bus stop, which has a few people lingering around outside. I watch the folks for a few moments, not ready to go back. I'm not used to being upset with Two-Bit for more than a fleeting moment – usually for some stupid stunt or remark he's made.

Even though he's my best buddy, Two-Bit and I've reached the point where we've become comfortable enough with each other to get annoyed easily. Spending nearly a week with each other is apt to do that.

I open the mailbox lid with a squeaky clink and give the cards a cursory glance before I drop them in one by one. Steve's library, Soda's Bikini girl and Darry's Golden Gate Bridge. I pause before sending Darry's card into the mailbox abyss, instead staring at the photo of the bright orange structure on the front.

A small smirk crosses my face as I let the card go. There's still one place I haven't gone.

XxX

I enter the walkway and walk about halfway across the bridge before stopping. The traffic whips fast behind me, exhaust stinking the air.

The walkway's thin and narrow, making me slightly claustrophobic. Luckily, there are not many people at the bridge today; only a man in a green army jacket and two women smoking a few feet away. The blowing smoke from their cigarettes ignites a craving and I pull out my own pack.

I take a deep drag and stare out over the orange railing. The choppy water shimmers in the sunlight, a few seagulls scream across the sky. Again, as it had back at the house, the same feeling of loneliness hits me. It wasn't a mistake to take this trip, but it was a mistake to think I'd find something that would give me an answer.

Ashing my smoke, something splashing far off in the water catches my eye. Eager to possibly catch a glimpse of a dolphin or even a whale, I move nearer to the railing, sticking my tennis shoes on the lowest rung to get a boost. Leaning over carefully, I make sure to keep my hands wrapped tight around the rail.

"Whoa, kid, c'mon. Get down from there."

I look around, confused as to who the man's talking to. His voice carries urgency, not bossiness. "What? Me?" I ask, realizing he's still staring.

"Look, don't jump." He raises his hands and my mouth drops open. "I'm sure you have family out there who cares about you. Whatever's wrong, this ain't the answer."

"Oh, no, no, no," I say, jumping back from the railing. "You got the wrong idea, mister. I wasn't gonna—I was just—I—I thought I saw a whale," I finish lamely.

Now the man's grinning in amusement. "You did, did ya?" Raising an eyebrow, he nods. "Can I bum a smoke?"

"Sure," I pat my pockets for the pack, hold it out and he takes a single stick. He uses his own lighter. "So someone out there cares enough about ya, eh kid? No jump today?"

"Uh, yeah. I mean no! No jump today." I chuckle nervously, cursing my awkwardness and then peer forward to watch the water. My eyes drift back to the stranger. "A lot of people do?"

"Out here it's a disease."

"Great tourist attraction," I mutter.

The guy laughs. "Sorry about scaring you, kid. The expression on your face…well…you looked a bit confused." Laughing again, he waves a hand in front of his face, moving the cigarette smoke away. He gives me an intent look, lips pressing together in a straight line. "It's good to know someone's alright out there." Taking one last puff, he tosses his smoke over the railing. "I'll see ya around."

I watch the stranger walk off, leaving me the last one standing.

XxX

I change from my work shirt into a white t-shirt. I slam my dresser drawer shut hard and the photo I have tacked to the mirror falls to the ground. Bending, I retrieve the photo and stick it back where it belongs. It's of me, Soda and Pony; right after Ponyboy recovered from his concussion and the trial. His hair's still bleached white in it.

"Darry!"

Soda's voice floats into the bedroom. I crack my door open. "What is it?"

"You, uh, might want to get out here…" There's scurried movement in the living room and then Soda's in front of me before I can step out of my bedroom. "The state's here, Dar. Mrs. Burrows just climbed out of her freakin Caddy." Soda's dark brown eyes jump.

"Shit." I plow into the living room, fighting the urge to stay calm and come up with a competent story, as my worst nightmare comes true. Feeling Soda at my back, I turn around. "Camp, Soda."

"I know, Dar."

"Okay." Taking a breath, I open the front door before Mrs. Burrows can knock.

"Why, Mr. Curtis, you're on top of things."

"We saw you coming, Mrs. Burrows." I open the door wide, letting her in.

Giving a curt nod, eyes brushing around the room, she settles on the couch, smoothing out her pleated skirt. "I am impressed," she tells Soda who sits beside her. "I don't think I've ever seen your house this spotless." She giggles. "And it was tidy before this, let me tell you that."

Soda shoots me brief look of relief; the only reason the house is so spic and span is because I practically browbeat Soda and Steve to keep it clean in case Pearl came around.

Now turning his attention back to Mrs. Burrows, Soda works the charm. "It's all, Darry. He runs a tight ship." Ducking to pick up the TV Guide, I roll my eyes; _way to lay it on thick, Sodapop_.

Another chuckle from Mrs. Burrows and then she clears her throat. "Now boys, I know this is a surprise visit but I just wanted to stop in and check on Ponyboy."

I sit in my recliner; if I don't sit, I know it won't be too long before I start pacing. "Ponyboy is—"

"At camp," Soda finishes.

There's a long pause and then Mrs. Burrows says, "I see. Is this camp in town?"

"Yes," Soda says. "Same county even."

"How long is he gone?" Mrs. Burrows forehead is wrinkling and I can feel mine is too; each of us trying to think if we're breaking any rules or regulations.

"A week," I tell her, keeping my expression neutral. "He's back Sunday." Soda's face is white, Mrs. Burrows pursing her lips. And then there's a quick tap at the screen door and Pearl walks in, a stack of letters clutched in her palm.

"Darry, I just—" Pearl freezes, taken off guard by the presence of the social worker.

Soda jumps in. "This is Mrs. Burrows. Ponyboy's Social Worker." He speaks slowly, giving Pearl the hint.

Nodding, she recovers quickly. Pearl extends a hand to Mrs. Burrows, who stands, taking it. Soda and I jump up too, as if we have to break up a fight.

"I'm Mrs. Rita Von Wadsworth. I live down the street from the Curtis's."

"Oh, oh, well," Mrs. Burrows stutters. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise." Pearl takes off her sunglasses. "My boy Charlie's at the same camp as Ponyboy. It was a last minute trip." She glances my way. "I do hope Ponyboy and Charlie have fun, Darry."

"Yeah, I do too. Can I talk—"

Before I can finish, Pearl's giving Mrs. Burrows a secretive smile. "If you must know, it's so nice having the kids away."

Blinking once and then chuckling, Mrs. Burrows nods in agreement. "I do know that feeling." She cocks her head and evaluates Pearl. "But my, you don't look old enough to have a teenager."

Pearl shrieks in laughter, patting Mrs. Burrows' shoulder. "Oh, you are a dear. Believe me, I am ancient." Then, Pearl presses a hand against her mouth in shock. "I am so sorry; I just realized I completely interrupted your conversation."

She puts her sunglasses back on and begins flipping through the stack of letters she must have picked up on her way in. "I just came over to give you your mail, Darrel. I got it by mistake again….Oh, look, a letter from Ponyboy….How sweet." Pearl nods at Mrs. Burrows. "Nice meeting you."

Then she's gone. Before Soda or I can say anything, Mrs. Burrows murmurs, almost to herself, "Such a lovely neighbor…especially for this neighborhood….Now, Darrel…" The older woman folds her hands together. "Normally, you're to alert Social Services if Ponyboy is out of your care, but seeing as how he is in town and with friends, I feel secure letting this be."

I want to fall over; instead, I keep a straight face and try to appear shamed. "I appreciate your understanding and I'm sorry if I overlooked something."

Looking more like a mischievous young girl than a stern social worker, Mrs. Burrows makes for the door. "It was a mistake; you didn't do it on purpose. I'll be back on Monday to check in," she trills, heading down the drive.

Soda smears his hands down his face. The tips of his long fingers rest against his chin as he glances at me. "Oh, holy shit, Darry."

Wiped out, I sit back down in my recliner. "Hell, you're telling me."

There's a rustling outside and Pearl pops her head back in. She eyes me. "Camp huh?"

XxX

A trolley ride and two bus trips take me back to the house. It's like coming home, someplace safe and secure; the experience on the bridge having exhausted and invigorated me. When I get inside, Two-Bit and Wanda are plopped on the couch watching an _I Love Lucy_ rerun.

Hearing the door open, Two-Bit twists around. "Hey, you're back." His voice is soft and I realize Wanda is sleeping, head tilted back to the ceiling. He scoots out, careful not to make noise and meets me at the door.

"You have fun?"

"I guess. Went to the Golden Gate Bridge."

"Yeah? Anything good there?"

"Just the view. What'd you do?"

"Nothing. Watched Soaps with Wanda. Did you know that twin sisters can be raised from the dead?"

I laugh. "No, I didn't. Sounds interesting."

"Oh, you bet it was, kid." Two-Bit leans against the wall, eyeing me. "So, whaddya want to do, Pone? We still got the rest of today and tomorrow. Your call."

"Let's go bowling, Two-Bit."

"Bowling?"

"Yeah. Bowling.

Reaching out, Two-Bit ruffles my hair. "You got it."

XxX

Pardon any typos! Thanks for reading and I appreciate any reviews.

As a side note – I'd like to mention that I have been published for some of my short stories and poems I've been writing (non-Outsider related, of course). So yay! I just wanted to share and thank everyone for reading my Outsider stories and giving feedback. It's made me a better writer.

Cheers!


	16. Chapter 16

Thought I'd get an update in today. Thanks to everyone for reading and reviews. Always adored. And as always, please review. Few more chapters to go. Thanks for sticking with me.

Disclaimers: Cursing. SE Hinton owns The Outsiders.

XxX

XVI. The Other Side

"Whoo whee," Two-Bit spouts. "Never woulda thought I'd beat Ponyboy Curtis at a little bowling." He coughs. "Three times, may I add."

"Is this like poker, Two-Bit? You're really a pro and you're scamming me?" I finish my smoke and toss the butt in a gutter.

Two-Bit sticks his hands in his pockets and whistles. He's walking in the street of downtown San Francisco and I watch him warily. He's not used to trolley's, nearly getting creamed at least two times since leaving the bowling alley. It's early evening, the sun setting on the horizon, and my stomach grumbles for dinner.

"Nah, kid. It just must come naturally to me."

"Right."

"Aw, you're just jealous that you found something you can't beat me at."

"Whatever, man." Spying an old-looking bookstore, I make a quick veer to the right. "Hold up. I wanna check this place out."

There's a groan from behind me. "You and your books. You ain't even read that big one you're lugging around."

"It's _Moby Dick_," I tell him. "And I'm nearly done. Unlike you, I finish a book."

"Maybe if they had pictures, I'd find them a little more interesting."

I pause in the doorway of the store, holding the door open. "You coming in or—?"

Two-Bit's oddly worried voice catches me off guard. "Pony…wait."

I follow his gaze. Across the street I swear I see the buildings sway. I take a step backwards and it's still like my surroundings come at me. I cock my head, confused. "Do you hear that?" I don't know why I say this; it's the first feeling that comes to mind.

"Hear what?" Two-Bit asks. "What're you—?"

Then the ground begins rumbling and Two-Bit heads my direction.

XxX

"You could have told me you know."

"I know."

"I wasn't gonna narc." Pearl raises an eyebrow, glancing Soda's way. "Is he always this paranoid?"

Soda chuckles. "I'll give her that one, Dar." But then his face turns serious and he shrugs. "When it comes to the state and Ponyboy, we don't take chances."

"Admirable," Pearl says. "And noted." She folds her hands together. "I can't wait to meet your little brother. He sounds like all kinds of trouble." She's perched on the edge of the couch next to Sodapop. There's a twig stuck in her hair from her hiding place in the bushes.

"Believe me, he is," I mutter before telling her, "It's ok, I think you saved us from Mrs. Burrows with your story."

Pearl grins. "The more the merrier. Especially at camp, am I right?" She winks at me and I feel myself redden. I clear my throat.

"Shit, I was sweating there for a second." Soda looks exhausted and eyes the front door as if the old social worker will come bursting through it once again. "Close one."

I rise from my recliner. "I'm calling him. He needs to leave tomorrow."

Soda nods. "Good idea."

XxX

Two-Bit and I watch in horror as, all around us, the earth shakes and roars. The buildings in front of us sway, cars skid to a stop in the street. Somewhere in the distance a siren sounds.

Two-Bit falls onto one knee, unable to keep balance. "Shit, what is this?"

I crouch in the doorway of the bookstore, propping a palm against the building's storefront to keep from falling over. "Earthquake, I think?" I crunch my eyes close, the herky jerky movement making me dizzy.

"Just hold still, Pone, it'll be over soon," Two-Bit says, sounding unsure. His jaw jumps as he finds a way to stand, albeit shakily.

"Hold onto what?" I mutter. The shaking's not stopping; seeming more to me like it's getting worse.

"Kid, just shut—oh, shit."

My eyes pop open in time to see part of the building across the street crumble in a small pile of rubble. "Damn it," I hiss as the building I'm leaning against begins to creak and moan.

"Pony, get out of there! C'mon!"

Two-Bit sticks an arm out, reaching towards me. I dart out from the shelter of the bookstore, Two-Bit takes a step closer to make a grab for me and then it all comes falling down.

XxX

I dial Two-Bit's aunt's house for the second time, eyeing the phone number taped to the fridge. Again, I let it ring; no answer. I slam the phone down, the knot in my stomach tightening.

"No answer?" Soda asks.

"No answer." I run a hand through my hair, eyeing my brother. "I swear to god, Sodapop, that kid—"

"You shouldn't worry, Darry," Pearl says. "It's still early there. He's probably out having some fun. San Fran's a big place."

"Have you been?" I ask.

"Oh yeah. A few years ago. It was pretty crazy."

"Great," I mutter, picking up the phone. I dial again. An unending feeling of uneasiness has settled around me but what's causing it, I can't place.

Pearl stands up. "Why don't we go get something to eat? And when you get back I'm sure he'll call. Or you can call him again."

I glance at Soda. "You wanna go?"

"Sure," he shrugs. "Let's swing by and pick up Steve." He smirks. "No sense in me being the third wheel."

Pearl smirks. "Steve sounds like such a good boyfriend."

Sodapop laughs long and hard, holding the front door open for Pearl. "You coming, Dar?"

I give the phone a last look and then follow my brother out.

XxX

The first thing I see when I open my eyes is dusky darkness. Confused, I squint to get a better view; dust clouds float in the dry air, faint streams of sunlight filter through cracks in the collapsed wooden beams. My right hand's clenched into a fist under my side. I pull it out and open it, watching gravelly dirt spill from my palm. It's my dream.

I blink.

It takes me a while to gather my bearings, figure out where I am since it feels like I got tossed ass over teakettle. I'm lying on my shoulder on my side. I look up.

I'm in a small space, room to sit up, but not stand; maybe 10 x 10. In front of me, I'm staring at the closed door with the words _Book Cellar_ stenciled on. Above me and to the sides are crumpled walls, beneath me rocks and dirt. And a small puddle of murky water, soaking my jeans. I check to see where it's coming from but can't find a source.

Suddenly, I think of Two-Bit. I glance around the space but he's MIA. My mind works for the last time I saw him, _he reached, he took a step…he_….

I call out for my friend but my voice sticks and it comes out as a weak whisper. Coughing, I lick my lips and try again.

"Two-Bit!"

I wait for a response and get nothing.

Fighting off the choking sensation of panic, I roll over onto my back. The pain that shoots up my left shoulder is instantaneous. I let out a cry and fling my right hand out to grip the shoulder, pressing it tight.

"Damn it," I swear, having no idea what's wrong. Only that my arm feels on fire. Gritting my teeth against the pain, I decide to sit up, pushing myself back with my feet. That's a mistake too. Because once I sit up, the room sways. Bright colors cloud my vision before once again going dark.

XxX

Two-Bit's voice is mixed with sirens and at first I'm not sure if there's a difference. Then the clouds clear and I open my eyes. I'm still in the room, still successfully sitting up. "Two-Bit!" I yell, hearing my friend, but having no idea where he is.

"Pony! Jesus, kid!" Two-Bit's voice is hoarse and thick. "I've been hollerin for nearly an hour. Are you okay? Where are you?" There's a sound of Two-Bit moving, body crunching on dirt, and I listen closely for where the sound's coming from. "Pony? You there?"

"Just keep talking Two-Bit…" I scoot forward, gripping my throbbing shoulder. As I do this, I notice it's hanging at an odd angle next to my side. The sight makes me sick and I concentrate on my friend's voice.

"Keep talking? It's dark as shit in here and I really gotta piss but somehow I think that's the least of our worries…"

His voice is floating through the Book Cellar door. I make a fist and rap against the wood. "Do you hear that?"

"Holy shit, is that you? You're on the other side?"

"Yeah, head towards the light, Two-Bit."

"Ha ha, fuckin hilarious."

I stare at the door, the obstacle sectioning off Two-Bit and I from each other. "Are you okay?"

"I think so. Except for the shrapnel wound."

I frown. "Are you joking?"

He groans. "No, I ain't joking. Something cut me pretty bad but I'm survivin. How 'bout you?"

"Something's wrong with my arm but I'll be ok." I don't mention my head.

"Like how wrong?"

"Like I can't move it."

"Shit. Darry's gonna kill me."

I have to laugh. "You can't control an earthquake, Two-Bit."

"Maybe not. But I sure as hell feel like I should've." He's silent for a moment and then erupts, "Shit! God damn it!" The door between us rattles as Two-Bit hits it with something, causing a light dust to fall from the wooden beams above. "I can't goddamn believe this. Stuck in some stupid bookstore….You know Pony, this vacation better make your top ten."

The room sways and I shut my eyes, fighting fear. "Someone's coming for us, right?"

"They'll come, kid. Can't you hear 'em?"

There's noise around us; cops, ambulance sirens, people yelling. General chaos. The streams of sunlight have long since vanished, now replaced with shadowy darkness. Spending the night down here isn't on my list of _to-do's_ for this vacation.

"What if they don't?"

"They will." And just like that, Two-Bit opens his mouth and begins to holler.

XxX

Steve's already got the cards out when we get back from grabbing a burger. He and Soda sit at their usual spots at the kitchen table and begin bickering over whose turn it is to shuffle. Why they care so much about that, I never know, I can only assume the first one to shuffle gets first crack at cheating.

I've dropped Pearl off at her place and while it took my mind off Ponyboy for the time being, the minute I get inside I'm heading for the phone.

"Back to the grind, huh, Darry?" Steve snickers as I pass him.

I smack the back of his head and grab up the phone. "Shut it, Steve."

"Shit, Dar!" Steve grumbles.

"Yeah, not tonight, man," Soda says, sitting back in his chair, watching Steve shuffle cards.

"Whatever."

Soda grins. "You know, I think you miss Ponyboy. Because even though he's 500 miles away you can't stop ragging on the kid."

"Are you kidding me?" Steve scoffs. "Maybe Two-Bit, sure, I miss him. But the kid…no way."

I smirk at Steve's obvious discomfort and dial Wanda's number. Oddly, there's a long wait before it connects and when it does I get a busy tone. Thinking Ponyboy's trying to call me, I hang up. When there's no call after five minutes I dial the number again.

Finally, it connects and a harried woman is saying, "Hello? Two-Bit, is that you?"

"No, uh…this is Darrel Curtis, Ponyboy's brother. I was calling to talk—"

"Oh my lord, of course. You don't know."

My stomach drops into my shoes. "Know what?"

XxX

"There's water over here."

"Where?"

"On my side."

"How much?"

My eyes brush over the spreading lake of water lining the bottom of my dirt cell. More now than earlier. "I'm sitting in it."

"You sure you didn't pee your pants?"

"Shut up," I tell him, trying to shift my weight to get out of the wetness. But no matter how delicately I try to move, I jerk wrong and my arm tweaks. "Shit!" I cry out.

"Damn it, Pony, just sit still! Stop moving around, you're gonna make it worse. And stay out of the water."

"You sound like Darry," I snap. "Like I have a choice."

Two-Bit lets out a long breath. "I know you don't."

We sit in quiet. My eyes have adjusted to the dim darkness and I spy something resting near my leg. I grab it up, shaking the water out of it. "Hey, Two-Bit," I say. "I found my lighter." The mere thought of getting any illumination in the darkness gives me hope.

"Don't light it," Two-Bit urgently calls out. "You hear me? There could be gas or something in the air."

"Oh," I say, feeling dumb for not thinking of that myself.

"We'll be okay, kid. We'll get out of here. Don't worry." Instead of reassuring me, Two-Bit's seriousness only scares me. It's not normal. None of this is.

I toss the lighter aside, watching it lay in the shadows. I let out a breath and close my eyes. I think of Darry and Soda.

"I know."

XxX

Soda's kneeling on the ground, in front of the television, watching the local news for any mention of what's going on in San Francisco. Steve's on the couch, his leg bouncing up and down. I'm on the line with Wanda, simultaneously talking to her while catching quick sound bites of the news.

_5.9 magnitude…damage to downtown San Francisco…outskirts not affected…power out…building collapse…injuries unknown at this time…now back to you Mike…_

"—go down there and volunteer." Wanda's voice in my ear makes me jump. Her voice is shaky but stern. "Try not to worry, Darrel, they might not have even went downtown."

I don't say it aloud but I know that's exactly where they went. The churning in my stomach, the instinctual feeling that something is very wrong has me alert.

"Call me the minute you hear anything." I twist the phone cord around my fist, the tightness cutting into my skin. "Even if you don't. Just—just call me." I'm barely aware that Soda's staring at me from his place on the ground.

"I will." Wanda hangs up.

I stand, my back to Sodapop and Steve, choking back a curse and the fear that threatens to boil over. I take a breath, preparing myself. When I turn around, Soda's still watching me, dark eyes intent for news.

"Is it bad?" He rubs his palms on the knees of his jeans. "How bad? Darry?"

I'm still holding the phone when it begins shrieking at me to hang it up. I look at my brother and then down at the phone, its weight heavy in my hand. "I don't know, Soda. I just don't."

XxX

"They can't hear us," I mumble miserably. I'm sitting with my back against the door, my arms propped limply in my lap, dusty palms staring up at me. I cough, choking on the thick cloud of sand hovering in the air.

Two-Bit stops whistling, waiting until I'm done coughing to say, "They will. They probably can't find us in the dark."

"Yeah, I bet."

Two-Bit shifts on the other side. There's a sound of ripping fabric. "You doin okay over there, kid?"

"Just peachy. You?"

"Fine and dandy."

"You know," I give a little laugh. "Figures this is what I get for not listening to Darry."

Two-Bit chuckles, his laugh reverberating around the small space. "Aw, c'mon. You can chalk it up to an adventure when this is all over. Besides I should be thanking you. Never thought I'd set foot outside of Tulsa. Now I can tell people I saw the bright lights of San Francisco. And the inside of a collapsed bookstore. All thanks to Ponyboy Curtis."

"Two-Bit, if it weren't for m—" What I'm going to say next is forgotten as the darkness in front of me becomes speckled with bright needlepoint lights. My vision fuzzes over.

"—alk to me. You there? Pony…"

"Damn," I whisper, touching fingertips to my temple. The lights bob on and off in the corner of the room. "I think I'm seeing things," I announce. "They're all blurry."

Two-Bit's quiet. Then, "That's not the answer I want."

"Sorry."

There's a long sigh on the other side of the door. "It's okay."

XxX

Please pardon typos. Thank you for reading.


	17. Chapter 17

Happy (Late) Thanksgiving. Hope everyone had a great break/holiday/etc.

Thank you so much for last week's reviews. I didn't want to make you wait so long…so here is the next chapter. Again, thanks for reading and please review.

Disclaimers: SE Hinton owns The Outsiders. Cursing below.

XVII. Break On Through

We've been hollering for the past 30 minutes; Two-Bit alternating between a high-pitched whistle and a deeper yell. My throat's hoarse and sore but it's the least of my worries.

Two-Bit stops, leaving me and my yell the only thing ringing through the dark. "Face it, kid. No one's out there. At least tonight," Two-Bit amends.

I ignore him and grit my teeth. "Hey! Hellooooooo….Anyone? Can anyone hear us? Hey!"

"Pony…"

"Help!"

"C'mon…Pone…"

"Fire!"

"Fire? Really?"

"I heard that's the best thing to yell when there's trouble." Angry, I kick the door with my soaked tennis shoe. The ceiling above quivers but I pay it no attention. "Damn it."

XxX

"It's all your fault, you know that right?"

"It is, is it?"

"You should have never let me go."

"I should have dragged your ass home from the bus station."

"Yep."

"Back to Darry."

"Yep."

Two-Bit's laugh echoes around us. "I'll remember that next time."

I rub my dry eyes and smile.

XxX

I hang up the phone for the second time tonight, exhausted from talking to Two-Bit's mom. "Is it true, Darry?" she had asked me. "He took Pony with him?"

"More like Pony took him," I grumbled but stopped myself from getting into the details any further.

"Oh, those two," she huffed. We chatted a bit longer, each of us making the other promise to call with any news.

Dragging the phone with me, I stand in the middle of the living room, feeling useless. "Soda, you should go to bed," I tell my brother, hovering in front of the TV like it has all the answers.

He doesn't look at me.

Steve, on the couch flipping through one of Pony's library books, says, "Yeah, man, we can't do anything from here." His voice is soft, not the usual curt tone. Steve gently closes Pony's book and shoves it under a pillow. Then he just sighs and turns his attention to the TV too.

I watch them for a long moment and go to my bedroom, the phone still in my hand. I'm sleeping with it tonight. I find the phone jack, buried behind the bed, get on hands and knees to plug it in and when I straighten up, Soda's in my room. His face is ghost white. He props a hand in the doorway, eyeing me.

"We should have made him come home."

"It's too late to do anything about that now. As much as I want to." I sit on the edge of the bed, tugging off my boots. Beneath me the bed creaks like worn, weary bones.

Soda keeps fixing me with his dark frown and I work up the guts to look him in the eyes. I swallow whatever guilt I carry. "I know you're worried, Soda. I am too. I just think we shouldn't get worked up until we hear something. For all we know those two are completely fine."

"But why haven't they called then?"

"Soda—I—"

"You know, Ponyboy. The last thing he'd want to do is worry us." My mouth works for an excuse but before I can find one Soda pleads, "Dar, something's wrong. Something happened."

"We don't know that."

"_I_ know it! Jesus, I _feel_ it." Soda waves a hand in front of his chest in a circular motion, letting it hover over his heart. "Right _here_."

XxX

Two-Bit's been quiet for a while. Taking this into account plus the small snores drifting over onto my side, he's asleep. I don't know how he does it; it's not particularly comforting to fall asleep under a collapsed building.

The darkness has me on edge. I can't stop seeing objects and lights in my periphery; it's a pretty miserable place to be at the moment and I want someone to talk to. I think of my brothers, eager to see them and suddenly groan, remembering.

"Thursday," I murmur. Shit. Tomorrow – or maybe it's now today – is when we need to leave to make it back to Tulsa by Sunday. I shut my eyes, stifling a yawn.

Darry's gonna kill me. He's flat out going to.

XxX

I can hear Steve and Sodapop talking in low tones through the wall. Every once in a while they'll say, "the kid" or Steve says, "Two-Bit" followed by a long curse.

I brush my teeth, wash my face, do the methodical things that make sense but when I turn off the light and get in bed my brain won't stop. I don't know how much longer I can pretend that things are okay. Because Soda was right; Ponyboy would have called. He wouldn't have wanted us to worry.

The irony isn't lost on me and I rub my eyes. My chest hurts and I pray that all the resolutions I want to make – to listen to him more, to try not to yell, to give him the benefit of a doubt – don't fall on deaf ears.

XxX

There's a low creaking.

It wakes me from the light doze I've finally slipped into and I crack an eye open. That's when I notice that the roof of the corner opposite me is sitting a bit lower than I remember. Both eyes open.

The wooden beams groan and dip before crashing down like someone's dropped a bowling ball through them. Wincing, I pull my knees into my chest, huddling closer to the white door, trying to get as far away from the collapsed roof as I can get.

Dust chokes the air, covering my hair and clothes and I cough on the grit. Two-Bit's yelling.

"What the hell happened? Pony!"

"Part of the damn ceiling caved in. That's all."

"Oh. Well ok, if that's all it was. I thought it was something serious," Two-Bit snaps and I can practically see him rolling his eyes. "Jesus Christ, what a fuckin wake-up call." His groan floats through the small space.

I eye the mess in the corner, wondering how we're going to get out of here when Two-Bit mutters in a real low voice, "God damn it."

I knock on the door. "You okay over there, Two-Bit?"

"Well, I tell ya what, Ponyboy. I'm kind of scared."

"No shit."

"I'm scared," he continues. "Because I ain't too sure what to do at the moment. Dig out, wait it out…shit, kid, it's a whole lot harder with you here. If it was just me, I think I'd be tearing the wall down by now."

"Stop. You're getting too serious."

"Hell, I mean it, Ponyboy. This is pretty goddamn, six-ways-to-Sunday, serious."

"Speaking of Sunday…we do have to get home by then."

"Yeah, I know we do. But right now, I hate to break it to you, Pone. We're kind of stuck at the moment."

XxX

Faint streams of sunlight float through the cracks in the caved mess. It gives me enough light to see my surrounding. I blanch.

"Hey, uh, Two-Bit…" I call out, eyeing the lowered ceiling that's now above me. "I, might want to take you up on that diggin out of here, offer….Two-Bit?" For a brief second, I think he's already done it; dug out and left me. But I know better.

"Two-Bit?"

"What's up, kid? Bad over there?" Two-Bit's solemn voice is in my ear, meaning he's right up against the other side of the door. He sounds flustered and I wonder if he really is okay.

"Ain't any better. Low roof."

"Low roof, huh?" He chuckles but there's no humor in it. "Where's Darry when we need him?"

I let out a wheezy laugh. "He's the smart one. He stayed home."

"Yeah, but we'll have the stories."

XxX

Soda and I practically collide the next morning when the phone rings.

"Where is it?" Soda asks, staring at the empty space on the wall.

"Shit! I left it in my bedroom…" We both tear down the hallway to my room, Steve jumping out of the way. Soda launches himself across my bed, grabs the ringing receiver and lobs it at me like it's a football.

"You answer it," he tells me, breathless. Scared.

Wanda's on a payphone. "It's not that bad down here, Darry," she tells me. "They got the searchers out, looking around. The electricity works, the only buildings down are really ancient ones…but…"

"But what?"

Her voice is thick. "But they're not here. And Two-Bit's truck is. It's fine. I'm lookin at it right now. It's right next to the bowling alley. I swear those two are nothing but troub—Oh!" Wanda cuts out and then says. "Hold on. I have to call you back."

XxX

I wonder if Darry's thinking about me. It's weird that my dreams – dirt in my hands, water in the fountain – have led to this. Instead of scaring me, this at least gives me a little comfort. Maybe I'm on the right path after all. Although, I sure wish my dreams had showed me some sort of escape route. Because an escape route would give me an escape. Isn't that right? Or maybe it's break? Or maybe—

"Ponyboy? Ponyboy? Wake up…"

"Wha—ow! Shit, Two-Bit. What?"

"You're talking to yourself over there, kid."

I rub my head. "I was?"

"Yeah." Two-Bit sounds strained. "You're creeping me out, Pony." There's a clatter on the other side of the door as Two-Bit starts scooting around.

"What're you doing?"

"Listening – shhh, be quiet."

"Ok." I look at my hands and then decide it's more fun to talk. "I thought I was dreaming, but maybe it's real. Can dreams be real?" The door creaks between us. I sigh. "I wish I had a book." There's a long silence. "Two-Bit?"

"Pony?" Two-Bit asks suddenly. "You still got your voice?"

"Sure do."

"Then yell, kid. Loud. We're getting out of here."

I place a palm against the door. Above us, I hear people.

XxX

"They might have found them," Wanda says.

"What? Where?" I dump my coffee in the sink, trying to move quickly into the living room to tell Soda but the phone cord's wrapped around my waist and legs, holding me tight. I curse silently, starting to disentangle when I realize Wanda still hasn't said anything.

"What is it?"

"Darry…the rescuers think they may be under a collapsed building." And just when I think I'm going to be sick to my stomach, Wanda rushes on, "They heard yelling last night and this morning, so that's how they found them. They're working on getting them out. I'm at a diner across the street. They're letting me use their phone…I'm watching…although I should probably be over there helping…"

"Stay on the line," I tell her. "I need to know what happens." I lean back against the counter, trying to breathe.

"Of course," she says. "Of course."

XxX

The bashing and commotion over on Two-Bit's side has gone on for so long I barely notice when it stops. Someone shouts, "Ready?" and then there's a louder bang. I wince and back away from the white door. But nothing comes through it.

Low voices and then Two-Bit begins shouting, intermixed with other, more adult, composed arguments. "The kid! He's on the other side…No, you have to listen….There's someone else down here—"

"Now son, just calm down—"

"No! You gotta get—"

"—et us check out that leg—"

"The roof—before it falls—get him—"

The voices fade as they get farther and farther away. Ice begins to boil in the pit of my stomach and I slam my good arm against the door. "Hey! Hey! Where are you going?"

XxX

"Oh my word ! Two-Bit!" Wanda erupts. "Darry, I'll be right back…Don't you dare hang up this phone," she instructs someone in the background. There's a clatter as the phone hits something hard and faint sounds of excited gibberish reach my ear.

"Wait—what about—goddamn it!"

XxX

"Two-Bit! Two-Bit!" I yell. The one person I'm connected to, just up and gone. "Damn it, Two-Bit…" I swear, rubbing my stinging eyes. "Don't leave…"

More people are above me, trying to get inside, get me out, but I don't want them. The walls shake, ceilings move and I swear they're going to cause the entire place to collapse on top of me. My arm aches and I draw it into my lap, cradling it. I hear Wanda someplace to my right, talking fast, but it could be my imagination. I squint, concentrating on the voices.

Then Two-Bit shouts, "Pony! I'll be right back, ya hear me, kid?" His voice cracks. "I'm just gonna go talk to your brother…okay? Sit tight…I'll be back, I ain't leaving…" Scuffling sounds outside, as Two-Bit leaves me thinking, what the hell is Darry doing here?

XxX

Soda's hitting me with questions I have no answers for. "Are they okay? She just left? She didn't say anything else? They're under a goddamned building?"

"Soda, just be quiet, okay? I can't think right now." I pinch the bridge of my nose. Soda's perched by the fridge, holding Wanda's phone number in his hand.

"Stupid. Stupid," Steve mutters, shaking his head.

"—arry?" A tinny voice comes through the phone that's resting on the counter and all three of us jump. "—ou there?"

XxX

A guy is lowered into the pit. He's older, wearing a uniform; a shock of grizzled beard on his chin. He shines a flashlight in my face. My eyes get big.

"Hey."

"Hey."

XxX

I whip the phone up to my ear. "Hey, hello? Two-Bit? You okay? How's Ponyboy?"

"Darry, they're getting the kid out right now. God, I'm so sorry…. I think he's okay but I ain't too sure and he's talking about lights and colors…" Two-Bit's babbling, his voice loud and anxious, so loud the entire room can hear. Steve raises his eyebrows. Soda's ghost-white and finally goes to sit down at the table. He watches me for a long moment.

"Two-Bit," I keep a firm voice, tamping down alarm. "Are you sure _you're_ okay?"

"I'm fine, Dar…I got a bum leg but nothing I can't han—" Two-Bit abruptly cuts off.

XxX

"Doin alright?" The rescuer tugs on the rope behind him. "Any injuries?"

I think about what hurts. "My arm?" I say, offering it like it's a question, still amazed at the situation in front of me. Behind him, I see the gray sky and faint sunlight and I'm very ready to get the hell out of here.

"Well then." He holds out a gloved hand. "You ready to go?"

"Glory, am I ever."

XxX

"Hello? Hello?" My hand's wrapped around the phone so tight, I'm nearly throttling it. "Damn it…"

There's a long silence and then Two-Bit's back. "Sorry," he says, his voice catching. "It's been a long night."

"It's okay, take it easy…" There's a rap at the door and I turn around, seeing Pearl through the window. "Here," I tell Soda, trying to pass the phone off. "Talk to him."

Soda drops his eyes, shaking his head. "I can't, Dar…"

"I'll do it." Steve takes it instead, keeping a lighthearted tone. "Heeeeey," he drawls as I go to answer the door. "'Bout time you crawled out from whatever rock you were under…" Soda, sitting at the kitchen table, laughs into his hands.

I swing the door open. "Hey Pearl."

"I heard what happened. Is there anything I can do?" She hands me the newspaper from the front porch.

"No, not right now…" I exhale.

"They're okay though, right?"

"I'm thinkin so but we're wait—"

"Darry!" Steve shouts urgently. He's holding the phone out, gesturing at me to hurry up. I rush back, forgetting about Pearl, forgetting about everything except what's on the other end of the line. I grab the phone with a shaky hand.

"Two-Bit! What's wr—"

"Oh, holy shit! Hooowheee!" Two-Bit's practically screaming, whooping in a laugh only he can pull off. "He's out, the kid's goddamn out!"

XxX

Pardon typos.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

XxX


	18. Chapter 18

Agh, please don't stone me! I know I am horribly late with this chapter. Writer's block…too many other projects…stupid excuses but I know I'm a heel.

Read and review. Always loved.

Disclaimers: Cursing below. SE Hinton owns The Outsiders. I just like to toy with them.

XVIII. Weary Wanderers

Dirt. I'm covered in dirt. That's the first thing I notice when I'm out – that and the sun. I squint, shielding my eyes against dull brightness. I can feel the dirt on my eyelashes, coating my lids, my teeth. I spit onto the ground, washing grit out of my mouth. I want to ask if anyone has a toothbrush but I doubt that's high on their list of concerns.

"Drink this." A cup of water is shoved into my good hand. Blanket draped around my shoulders. Cops and paramedics throw questions at me and I answer them while scanning the crowd for Two-Bit. Now that I'm able to stand to full height I notice my right arm's turned out at a slight angle. I must make a face because a female EMT tells me to sit down.

I sit on the lip in the back of the ambulance, feeling weird. I set the water down.

"Does this hurt?" someone asks.

"Does what—Ow! Yes!" I eye the paramedic to my right, who's poking and prodding my arm. He doesn't look the least bit sorry and instead just prods a little more gently. I crunch my eyes shut.

"Dislocated shoulder," the paramedic mumbles. He pats my back. "Not so bad. An easy fix. Sit tight and we'll get you right."

"That rhymes," I tell him. He gives me a funny look before hopping out of the back of the ambulance. He walks off in the direction of a second ambulance, leaving me surrounded by police men and gawking strangers.

"Swell," I mumble and then perk up, seeing one familiar face pushing toward me through the barricade of people. Wanda.

She glares at a cop who tries to block her access. "I'm a nurse and this boy's aunt and you'll let me through right now, sir." The cop moves aside and she rushes over. "Ponyboy!"

Wanda smoothes dusty hair off my forehead; her touch cool. "Oh, you poor thing!" She gives a hearty laugh, still cupping my face and bends to kiss my cheek. "It's so good to see you! A relief that's for sure! How are you?"

"I'm okay. Where's Two-Bit? Is he okay?"

"Yes, he's fine. Just fi—" Wanda cuts off as there's a sharp yell. As if to prove her point, Two-Bit comes flying at us in an odd sort of limping run. He runs across the street from a small diner, dodging a TV crew. He's headed toward me and I brace myself.

"Ponyboy Curtis!" Two-Bit has a sort of sick, giddy look on his face. He flings his arms around me. He squeezes hard. My arm kills but that doesn't matter.

"Hey, Two-Bit," I laugh into his shoulder, hugging him back the best I can with one arm. His clothes reek of mud and sweat but I've never been so glad to see him in my life. "Long time no see."

"Shit, you're telling me." He pulls away, ruffling my hair, smoothing it back. "God, I'm glad we're out of there. You okay, kiddo? What about that arm of yours? Shit, they ain't done anything for it yet? What the hell kind of bull—"

"Two-Bit, your leg…" I frown, seeing the amount of white gauze wrapped around his thigh, the top of the bandages tinged pink. He waves me off.

"It's nothing, Pone. Nothing a little beer can't handle." He chuckles.

"That ain't funny," I say, watching as Wanda checks it out. "What if it's serious or you—? Hell, why didn't you tell me you were worse off?"

"Don't worry about it, kid."

"Don't tell me what to worry about," I hiss, suddenly annoyed at Two-Bit's secretiveness. My palms itch, chest tight. "What if you were really—"

"Hey, hey," Wanda soothes. "No need to get worked up." Two-Bit takes a step closer to me. I take a gulp. The weird feeling's back.

"Where's Darry?"

Two-Bit gets a real funny look on his face. He looks sick, like he's going to cry or he just bit into a lemon. "Pony," he starts, "What're you talking—Darry ain't here kid…" Wanda nudges him and whispers in his ear. Suddenly, Two-Bit jumps.

"Oh! Oh, you meant the phone call….Lordy, kid, I swear, I thought you were losin your mind for a sec." He exhales. "I talked to Darry. We'll call him when we're done. You sure you're okay?"

"I'm okay. My mind's just fuzzy."

"Hell, after that whose isn't?" Two-Bit sits beside me, placing a hand on my knee. His voice gets low. "It was scary down there, Pone." I nod assent. Then the paramedic's back, brandishing a stethoscope.

XxX

Soda and Steve are on the porch. Soda's pacing, the faint sounds of his work boots making a _clop clop_ across the wood floor. Cigarette smoke filters through the screen door. Without hearing their conversation, I already know Steve's telling Sodapop to relax.

I'm planted by the phone, waiting, _needing_ for Two-Bit to call back. After his initial scream and the good news, he had hung up with a, "I'll call you back, Dar," and then was gone. And as glad as I am that one of my best friend's is safe, I really need to hear from my brother.

Pearl asks, "Do you want a drink?"

"Like what?"

"Scotch?"

I give her directions to where I hide my parents' hard liquor and she comes back with a bottle of amber liquid my dad used to drink on special occasions only. Taking the glass she pours, I definitely consider this a special occasion.

She sits in a kitchen chair while I sip. I take a long one, a gulp, the alcohol numbing my stomach. "He's okay, Darrel."

"I know. You think so?"

Her ice cubes clink together. "I do. I think the worst thing is the wait. After that, when you talk to him and he's okay, when he comes back, it'll be smooth sailing." Instead of saying anything, I just watch Pearl drag her hand across the air like a ship floating on water.

XxX

After checking and re-checking Two-Bit's leg and declaring it a minor wound that needs a bandage and salve, the paramedic wraps it up tighter and suggests that Two-Bit visit his local practitioner as soon as possible. Two-Bit rolls his eyes but I catch his wince as the paramedic squeezes the bandage.

When he's done with Two-Bit, he turns to me. "Let's pop that arm back in," the paramedic says. He reaches out and I inadvertently jerk away. My eyes move to Wanda, surer about her capabilities. "No. Let her do it." The paramedic and Wanda exchange some sort of look and then the paramedic steps back, his pride hurt.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, you do it."

Wanda's biting her lip. "Okay. But Ponyboy…this is gonna hurt, kiddo." She takes a step forward. She bends my elbow, rotating it slightly. "Keith," she says. "Hold him. Just in case."

"Okay," Two-Bit whispers, stepping forward to squeeze my shoulders.

I shrink back. "In case of what?" My voice cracks.

"In case you want to pass out on me." Then without warning, Wanda twists and rotates, pushing my entire arm into some sort of abnormal position. It pops. It hurts like hell. I scream. Two-Bit steadies me upright, his hand on my neck, telling me to breathe, take a breath kid, c'mon; and slowly but surely the black spots in front of my eyes disappear.

"Oh, Jesus," I gasp.

"You're okay," Two-Bit says, making me sit down on the curb. He sits next to me, rubbing my back. The paramedic steps up and suggests we both go to the hospital to get further checked out. I shake my head no while Wanda tells him she'll take care of us.

"We gotta get home, Two-Bit," I murmur.

"I know, kid. Let me figure that out."

"Oh!" Wanda exclaims, thinking I mean her house. "I'll get the truck." She takes Two-Bit's keys and hurries off, leaving us sitting on the curb, foreign wanderers in a strange land.

XxX

Wanda takes charge when we get back to her house, ordering me into the shower and making Two-Bit a pile of food. Before entering the dark bathroom, I blindly feel for the light on the wall, flipping the switch. Hastily, I climb into the shower, turning the water on as hot as it can go and letting the spraying streams wash away the dirt and muck. It's surreal that not more than 24 hours ago I was trapped underneath a bookstore and now I'm in a completely different direction. It's like Windrixville all over again. I cover my face in the shower and take a breath hoping the fuzziness in my mind goes away. My arm aches but it's a million times better than it had been.

When I'm done I toss on jeans and a t-shirt, going to join Two-Bit in the kitchen. He has two long lines of dirt smudged beneath his eyes, making him look like a football player. "You're up next." I place my shaky hands on the back of the chair.

"Thanks, kid."

He's sitting at the table, the crusts of his sandwich on his plate. I point at the crusts. "Ain't you a little old for that?"

He blinks and then shakes his head. "Pony, we're staying here tonight."

"What? We gotta get back or we ain't gonna make it by—"

"We'll make it by Sunday. We'll go Friday – tomorrow – that gives us two days and then some, Pone. We'll do it." Two-Bit reaches out to graze my arm. "Have I ever lied to you?"

My face crinkles into a frown and I think – really think about it, all the years I've known him. "No," I admit. "You haven't."

"Okay," he says, going through the checklist in his brain. "Now you gotta call Darry."

XxX

Pearl's long since gone home. I put our glasses in the sink and turn on the water. Steve's hovering around the living room, Soda having gone out to get smokes. Steve, fumbling with a magazine, says, "I bet Soda comes back with a carton."

"Or smokes a pack on the way back to the house," I add.

A smile clouds Steve's dark face. He's not showing it but talking to Two-Bit earlier shook him up. The phone rings and being the closest to it, Steve grabs it. "'lo?" There's a quick silence and then Steve laughs loud. "Oh, holy shit am I glad it's you." He frowns, listens. "No, I ain't joking…Shit, I'm not that much of a bastard, kid…"

At _kid_, I start, and wipe wet hands on my jeans, heading to Steve. "Yeah, right…hey lookit, Superman wants to talk to you…" He hands the phone over to me and leaves the house muttering about Sodapop and cigarettes.

"Ponyboy?"

"Darry?" he squeaks.

Hearing his voice, I shut my eyes, sitting down on the couch. "Ponyboy, where are you? Are you—"

"I'm at Wanda's," he says, rushing on. "And I'm fine, Dar. You ain't gotta worry. I just had a dislocation. They popped my shoulder back in, it was pretty gross." He chuckles, a brave front that I'm not buying.

"Ponyboy, are you sure you're all right?" I ask thinking about what Two-Bit said about Pony seeing colors and talking about lights.

Quiet. And then Ponyboy chokes out, sounding about all of six-years old, "It was scary down there. I didn't think we'd ever get out." He takes a shuddery breath. "Thank god for Two-Bit. He—he was almost normal down there…almost—almost too serious."

"Now that's a sight I'd like to see."

"I didn't exactly see it," Pony mutters. Another sigh. "I just want to come home, Darry. I'm real sorry about everything."

"Pony, I don't care about any of that," I tell him, meaning it. "You're safe and that's all that matters."

"We're leaving tomorrow morning. We can still make it back by Sunday."

I consider the two of them, driving in their condition on little sleep and while I don't like it, there's not really another option. I'll have to trust that Two-Bit knows what he's doing. "Don't push yourself," I begin. "Get back, but Pony, I'll buy you a goddamn plane ticket if I need to."

He laughs. "I know you would, Dar."

The screen door squeaks and Soda's in front of me, holding his hand out. "Lemme talk to him."

I give a quick nod and motion _one second_. "Pony, Soda wants to talk to you. You call me from the road, you hear?"

"I will, promise."

I tell my youngest brother goodbye and then hand the phone over to my impatient middle one. Steve's smoking in the house; he holds up the carton of smokes Soda bought. Soda sits on the armrest of the couch. He raises the phone to his ear.

"Ponyboy," he says. "I'm gonna kick your ass when you get home."

XxX

After I hang up from talking to my brothers, I just sit there in the living room, thinking. Everything seems out of balance, there's a timeline to beat and it's my fault. Stupid Two-Bit, I think wishing my friend would have dragged me home or told Darry on me. Stupid me, I think, pinching the bridge of my nose. Me and my bright ideas.

Two-Bit's out of the shower as I'm walking back to the bedroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, one around his head turban style. "Talk to Darry?"

"Yeah." My voice is flat. I can feel Two-Bit staring at my back. I flip the light on in the bedroom, wincing but also basking in the yellow glow. "Soda says he's going to kick my ass."

"Huh. Sounds about right." Two-Bit sighs. "Pony, don't worry about it. They ain't mad at ya. Shit, you didn't cause the earthquake. If anything they'd be mad at ya for—"

I give him a look and he shuts up.

"I just feel lousy."

"Your arm?"

"Yeah."

"Wanda was tellin me she's got something for that." Two-Bit evaluates for a quick second and then removes the towel from his head. His rusty hair sticks up in wet spikes. "Go to bed kid, you look like you're going to fall over."

"What about you?"

"In a second."

I plop onto the twin bed, the soft mattress welcoming. My arm gives a twinge and my eyes widen. I suck in a breath and hold my bad arm with my good. Two-Bit doesn't say anything, just cursing softly. "I'm gonna go call my ma. G'night, Pone." He turns to leave, flipping the light off.

"Hey, uh, Two-Bit," I call out. His head swivels my way. "Can you, um, leave the light on?"

Something wary flickers across Two-Bit's face and then he grins. "Shit, you're more work than my little sister, you know that Ponyboy?"

Laughing, I throw a pillow at him. "Shut up, Two-Bit."

XxX

The fountain's cold, water up to my knees, books bobbing on the surface, their spines face up and curved. I just stand in the center, stupidly, as the water rises in the deep circle. I can't move. It's too dark. My arm throbs, hurts. Then he walks out of the shadows, impressive and all-inspiring. He looks like my dad but it's my brother.

Darry says my name and stops at the edge of the fountain. He stretches a hand out, palm up. I take a step forward and reach. The pain flares but I force it to move. Our fingertips brush and—

"Ponyboy…shhh…you were dreaming…"

Opening my eyes, I see Wanda squatting beside the bed. I blink and realize I'm gripping my shoulder. She gives me a soft smile and holds a finger to her lips, looking back over her shoulder. Behind her, Two-Bit's snoring softly. She pats my leg. "C'mere honey."

XxX

I sit on the edge of Wanda's bathtub as she searches her medicine cabinet. She drops a bottle of lotion in the sink, swears and then finds an orange pill bottle. "Your arm's inflamed, which doesn't make for good dreams I'm sure." She gives me a sympathetic smile. "I can give you some painkillers but you really should have seen the doctor."

I want to tell her that dreams aren't anything new for me but I don't. Wanda pours one pill into my palm and I stare at it, still feeling Darry's fingertips on mine.

Wanda chuckles and hands me a glass of water. "Go ahead, it ain't gonna bite you."

I take the pill, swig some water. "You know, you remind me a lot of my boys," Wanda suddenly announces, causing me to nearly choke. "Will especially. They were young…but the innocence in you…it brings them back a little bit."

Despite the water, my mouth is dry. I lick my lips. "What, uh, what happened?"

"Car accident. Same as your folks. Two-Bit told me about them. I sure am sorry."

"Thanks," I tell her. "Same here." I give Wanda back the glass. I swallow the lump in my throat.

XxX

"Here," Two-Bit says early the next morning when I wander into the kitchen. He shoves a piece of burnt toast into my hand. "Eat this." He takes a bite of his own and then grabs up his duffel bag. "You packed, Pone? I'm takin this out to the car," he mumbles through a mouthful of toast.

I shoot Wanda a surprised look at Two-Bit's bossiness but follow him outside after retrieving my pack. He's got everything loaded; even _Moby-Dick's_ resting in the passenger seat. "I'm impressed, Two-Bit."

He raises a brow. "Hell, if I'd forgotten that book I'd hear about it for the rest of the trip." Then he grins. "We're ready to hit the road Jack."

He limps back to the house and I hurry to catch him. "Hey, Two-Bit, are you sure you're okay? Your leg—"

"Just a limp, Pony. I ain't dying."

"I know but…"

"Shit, relax, kid or you're gonna get a permanent frown."

"I am not."

XxX

Wanda kisses Two-Bit on the cheek, pulling away to grip him by the shoulders. "Now you drive safe, Keith. And if either of you get tired, stop and get a motel. No sense in rushin, you understand me? I packed you some iced tea in that thermos there and there's some sandwiches in that cooler. I gave you Ponyboy's pills right? Here, take this…"

Two-Bit half-nods, half-laughs, shoving away the cash Wanda offers him. "Yeah, I got it, Wanda. Don't worry. And yeah, I got the drugs for the kid." He hugs his aunt again. "Thanks for the use of your house."

Wanda cackles. "I'll send you a bill." She turns to me. "And you, you go easy on that brother of yours so you don't have to do this again."

I smile shyly and let her hug me. She brings her cheek close to mine and whispers, "Even though I know you had a blast. Keith too. He just won't admit it." She lets me go and makes a peace sign. "Two pills a day if you need them. No more."

Two-Bit and I both nod again and Wanda claps her hands together. "Okay, ya'll better git." Wanda shoos us out the front door, giving Two-Bit one last hug. We make the short trip across the lawn, to the truck and climb inside the cab. Two-Bit guns the engine and in the faint morning sunlight, we leave Wanda and San Francisco. I watch the ocean pass us by, pressing a hand against the window. My palm leaves a smudge that I don't wipe off.

XxX

Pardon any typos.

Please read and review. I am sorry if this is dragging. Soon to be wrapped up.

Everyone have a great holiday!


	19. Chapter 19

And so, I apologize for the horribly long wait (or maybe it wasn't. Maybe you just didn't care anymore about this story b/c I slacked and that's my fault.). But I care and I do apologize. My mother has been in town for three weeks, leaving me not to write, but to entertain her.

Alas, I am back. And so is this story. Almost done. 1 chapter left after this.

Disclaimers: SE Hinton owns The Outsiders. Cursing involved below.

Please read and review if you are able. Cheers!

XxX

XIX. Tightrope

"I'll miss the ocean," Two-Bit suddenly announces.

I look over in surprise as he pulls the truck onto the freeway, exiting San Francisco. "You barely went in. And even that was to punch someone."

He grins. "I still liked it. It was peaceful."

I try to hide my smile by fiddling with the radio. "Yeah, it sure was."

"And you know what I liked even more?"

"What's that?"

"These babies."

With a flourish Two-Bit unveils the red cat-eye sunglasses and positions them expertly on his face. Groaning, I sink low into my seat and turn up the radio, letting the Beatles take us out of San Francisco.

XxX

Teddy Daniels claps me on the shoulder as I'm filling my thermos full of coffee. "Rough night? Maybe with a certain girl we both know…" He wags his eyebrows.

"Rough is right but it doesn't involve Pearl." I sit down at the break room table and tell him the story of what went on in California. "They're on their way home today," I finally finish.

"They better move their asses," Daniels says. "Cutting it close."

"You don't have to tell me." I take an awkward sip of coffee, burning my tongue. I curse inwardly, figuring this day is already shot. "We've already had one run in with the State and that was enough for me." I check my watch and stand up to start my shift. "How's Billy?"

Daniels's face softens. "He's actually okay. He came home the other day and stayed with ma. Made her happy." I just nod as Daniels continues to grin. "See Curtis? It all works itself out in the end."

"I sure as hell hope so."

XxX

Out of the corner of his eye, Two-Bit watches as I unscrew the cap off the bottle of pills Wanda has given me. "Your arm still hurt, kid?" he asks.

"It sure don't feel _good_." I say, fumbling with the cap. Finally, I manage to pour two in my palm, after an internal debate, I add a third for good measure and then pop the pills in my mouth, taking a swig of iced tea. The arm's been aching for the last 50 miles or so.

I give a sigh and then roll my head over to eye Two-Bit. "Are we there yet?"

Two-Bit laughs and rubs a long sideburn with his thumb. "Ain't even close, Pone. We just hit Bakersfield." He points to a sign whizzing by in a blurry mess. "You doin ok?"

Irritated, I shift in my seat. But I give a smile to show him I'm fine. "Yeah, just impatient." We've only been driving about four hours but already I'm sick of the truck. I feel antsy, like I need to move, get out of the small space. I shift again and the seat squeaks. I try to take a gulp of air.

"What's with you? Kid?"

"I can't breathe."

"What?"

My hands frantically begin rolling down the passenger seat window, the glass sliding lower and lower. Finally down, I stick my head out and greedily drink the air. The heat in my body goes away; the choking sensation in my chest fades.

I flop back into my seat. That's when Two-Bit says, "I've been feeling that ever since we got pulled out of that mess." Surprised, I can only watch my friend. He pats my knee. "It'll be okay."

I nod, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

XxX

The pain pills make me feel weird. They knock me out. I dream the wildest things –

In one, my whole family is at home – mom and dad included – except they're underwater, everything's floating and when I speak my words go unheard. Instead I scribble what I want to say on a piece of paper and only then do they see –

The second is the old tried and true dream I've been having since I left Tulsa. Darry and I face off. I'm in the fountain and he extends his hand. I reach, stretch, and finally I grip his hand. His palm is rough and firm and full of strength. He pulls me up and out of the water, setting me firmly in front of him on the concrete.

He places hands on my shoulders. "You know," he says, he keeps repeating like a record. "You know."

"Know what? What, Darry?" I can feel the frustration, my voice shakes.

"You just do," he says in his stern Darry-voice. I almost take a step backwards but then he pulls me in and hugs me. Darry wraps his arms around me and squeezes.

I hear the ocean, the waves and then—

I wake up.

The truck's parked at a rest stop, Two-Bit nowhere to be seen. The windows are cracked, late afternoon sunlight filtering through, making the cab warm and lazy. The clock on the dash reads 6:00pm, meaning that Two-Bit's been driving for about six hours straight while I've been conked out.

I yawn and then see Two-Bit exit a bathroom, zipping his fly up. I roll my eyes and slide into the driver's seat. "I'll drive," I tell him as he whips open the door.

"You're up." He sounds surprised.

"Sorry I slept so long."

"Those pills really knocked you out." Two-Bit has a funny look on his face that I can only guess what it's about.

"Was I dreaming again?"

His face breaks into a smile. "Glory, Pony, your dreams must be somethin' else. I almost drove off the road any time you'd holler. Which by the way, I feel it's my duty as a friend to tell you, you scream like a girl."

"I do not." I sock his arm, looking around to check out the rest stop. I rub my bleary eyes. "Where are we?"

"Flagstaff, Arizona," he says. "I heard there's a good diner to get some grub."

"Who'd you hear that from?"

"Trucker in the bathroom. Move, kid."

I scoot over, letting him take the wheel once more. "I don't even want to know."

XxX

The diner's nearly empty, Two-Bit and I at a lone booth in the corner. We're devouring burgers and fries as fast as we can, making me recall when it was Dal, Johnny and I at the Dairy Queen in Windrixville. I slow down and sit back in the booth.

"How's your leg, Two-Bit?" I noticed he was limping as we entered the diner.

"Right as rain," he says but I catch the wince. At my scowl he amends, "Okay, okay, it's not fine but it's not bad. Just a little sore."

"I'll drive some tonight," I tell him. "You can sleep."

"Are you sure?" He frowns. "You took those pills—"

"Yeah, seven hours ago. It's fine. I'll be fine. Stop worrying."

Two-Bit chews thoughtfully on a fry. "Boy howdy, I can't wait to pass that torch back to Darry."

I roll my eyes. "Speaking of Darry…" I pat my pockets for some change. "I'm gonna give him a call."

"Tell him hi for me," Two-Bit sings as I head for the payphone on the opposite side of the diner. "Tell him I miss him and ask him why he never calls me!"

Quickly, I cross the diner and climb into the phone booth before Two-Bit can embarrass me even further. I shut the door and then after a second re-open it to get air. It's a small space and I can't do that yet.

I put the change in and wait a beat before I dial. I let it ring and when no one picks up I miss my brothers even more.

XxX

It's Friday night and I'm still not finished with inventory. I eye the clock on the wall, wiping my hands on my jeans. A few others are milling around, Teddy Daniels is in the office finishing up whatever paperwork is left to do.

I check the clock twenty minutes later and even though I'm still not done with inventory, I grab my lunch pail and my tool belt and call it quits for the night. "See ya, Curtis!" Daniels calls, giving me a wave.

XxX

All the light's are on inside when I pull into the driveway. Steve's truck sits on the curb. Out of habit I check the mail before going inside. When I see what's stuck in between the pile of bills and letters, my chest gets tight.

But not in a bad way.

XxX

Two-Bit curls up against the door, yawning. "Pull over if you even yawn. We don't need a repeat of the Bambi incident…"

"Two-Bit, shut up, and go to sleep."

"Roger." With that Two-Bit shuts his eyes and in less than ten minutes he starts to snore. Figuring it's a long shot that he'll wake up, I crank the radio and settle in for a long drive.

XxX

Inside, Soda and Steve are concocting something in the kitchen that I can't see but can definitely smell. I'm barely shutting the front door before calling out, "Any word from Pony?"

"I just got home myself."

I toss my keys and some of the mail onto the coffee table, keeping three pieces in my hand. I wander into the kitchen. "You got some mail," I tell Sodapop. "You too." I nod at Steve.

Steve looks confused but as soon as he examines the postcard he utters a coarse laugh. "That little shit," he mutters, a smile playing across his face as he stares at the photo of the San Francisco Library on the front of the postcard. "Think I can't read or what?"

"Kid's got good taste," Soda says with a grin, showing me the two blondes on the front of his postcard.

"Yes he does," I say, going to the fridge and tacking my postcard up for all to see. The Golden Gate Bridge gleams orange.

XxX

I've just crossed the New Mexico border. When I reach the small town of Thoreau, I decide I've had enough and pull over at a lookout point on the side of the road. It's midnight and pitch black outside and I don't think I can keep my eyes open any longer. I make sure both doors are locked and then with Two-Bit still snoring beside me, I pull my jacket tight around my shoulders and try to get as comfortable as I can in the seat.

Sleep comes quick.

XxX

A scratching on the roof of the truck wakes me.

I twist onto my other side, my shoulder resting painfully against the driver's door. I try to listen, to hear what the sound is. I shiver. A hiss in the dark of the truck makes me jump.

"Pone?"

"Glory! Ain't you asleep, Two-Bit?"

"Did you ever hear that story about that Tulsa couple?"

"What? What are you talking about?" Rolling over, I stare at Two-Bit who looks ghostly in the blackness. I rub my eyes, wondering why he wants to tell stories at this hour. "What story?"

"Well…" Two-Bit lowers his voice. "There was this couple and they go out to The Pass to play kissy face. The put a little mood music on and in the middle of the Beach Boys a newscast comes on about an escaped killer who's roaming the outskirts of Tulsa…"

"I don't remember this."

"You were in diapers, kid. Now don't interrupt your elders."

My frown deepens and I want to ask how he remembers since he isn't _that_ much older than me, but he's off again. "So they're out there all night, screwing around, guy gets a little action and then decides he has to take a whiz. He leaves the girl and it's all fine and dandy until she starts hearing this tapping sound coming from the roof of the car."

My eyes dart above me, where the scratching is still coming from and I shake my head. "Two-Bit, this ain't fun—"

"Again with the interrupting, Pone. So, it's like a tap-tap-scratch," Two-Bit continues. "Now the chick's really freaked out because her guy ain't back yet. She waits a few more minutes and then decides to go outside to see what the problem is...When she gets outside," Two-Bit's practically whispering now. "The escaped killer's on the roof of the car, the boyfriend's decapitated head in his hands."

"You're such a liar." I manage a weak laugh. "That never happened."

"Maybe. Maybe not. I guess you'll never know."

I swallow, trying to ignore the blackness outside, the scratching sound still above me and Two-Bit's stupid story. Two-Bit ruffles my hair and flips onto his other side. "Night, Pone. Sweet dreams."

"I hate you," I tell him, squeezing my eyes shut and burrowing into my jacket, Two-Bit's soft chuckling floating around us in the truck.

XxX

Soda's on the phone at about six in the morning. Hearing his low voice rippling through the house, I pry myself out of bed and plop in my recliner, waiting for him to finish. "Where are you at, kiddo? Thoreau? Wait – what – he's a writer? _Like_ the writer? Sure, Pone, sure…I got it. Someplace in New Mexico…"

I yawn into my hands as Soda finishes. "Yeah…I will…drive safe, kiddo." He holds the phone out to me, "Here, Dar."

I take it. "Hey Pony. You're in New Mexico?"

"Yep. Only 12 hours to go. We stopped at some gas station. Two-Bit's eating Necco Wafers for breakfast."

"Yeah, well, you two drive safe. Don't rush it."

"We won't, Dar."

"And get a good breakfast."

He laughs. "I will."

"Okay, kiddo. Call me later."

"I will." He hesitates and then adds, "Love you, Dar."

He hangs up, leaving me torn between wringing Pony's neck or hugging the hell out of him when he first makes it back home.

XxX

We really get a move on. From Thoreau we drive to Albuquerque, stop so Two-Bit can change the bandage on his leg, and then continue on until we hit Amarillo where we grab some lunch. Instead of stopping we pull through the drive-through at McDonald's. I chase my pain pills with a slurp of Coca-Cola.

"Arm still bothering you?" Two-Bit's drinking coffee so I know he's more tired than he's letting on.

"Yeah. It hurts something awful." I rub my shoulder with my left hand. I don't know if I slept on it wrong or how I tweaked it but either way, the throbbing is back. I rattle the bottle, the few remaining pills making a weak noise.

Two-Bit takes a back road, proclaiming it a shortcut despite my protests that shortcuts are never good ideas. We drive in silence for an hour. We're on a long stretch of road that's barren and dry and desolate. The pills kick in but something feels off, like a haze. My palms itch, my arm numb.

"So, whatcha think of the trip, Pone?" Two-Bit asks. His voice is loud and I close my eyes. "Was it all what it was cracked up to be?"

"I think it was. But," I sigh, "You know, I probably shouldn't have gone…messed things up with Darry even more…Do we have any water?"

"No, you didn't kid. What're you talking about?" The truck swerves as Two-Bit points at the ground. "The water's down there, Pone."

Fumbling with the cap for a long minute, I finally manage to get it off. I take a long swallow, hoping my dry mouth evaporates. I spill some on my lap. I hold the jug out to Two-Bit. "Want some?"

"No thanks – kid, are you okay?"

"Shoot, I think – hey, look what I found!" Moby-Dick is on the floor of the cab. Struggling against the seatbelt, I dip low and pick the heavy book up. I glance over and see Two-Bit has the bottle of pills in his hand, scrutinizing them. "Do you want some too?"

"Do I – what? No, I don't. Now shut up, Ponyboy." I shrug and go back to the book, flipping through the pages until I find the phone number that started it all.

Two-Bit swears low under his breath at something. "Fucking fantastic." With one hand he begins rolling down his window, muttering, "You're supposed to be a goddamn nurse Wanda…" He tosses the bottle of pills out the window.

"Hey! Those were mine."

"Those were expired." Two-Bit glances my way, tension on his face. "No wonder you're bouncing around like a squirrel monkey." He reaches a hand out, brushing it against my forehead and I swat it away. I unsnap my seatbelt and crouch on the seat.

"Jesus, sit still, will ya? I'm trying to—What're you doing?"

"Throwing things out the window." With that I roll my window down, pick up Moby-Dick and chuck the novel out at 80 MPH. I watch as the book rolls, shredding itself into a million pieces.

"Hey!" Two-Bit snaps. "That's a goddamn library book!"

I laugh. "Well, it _was_…"

"Damn it, Ponyboy! I oughta—" Suddenly, the truck gives a sputter and a lurch. I bounce off the seat as Two-Bit manages to veer us onto the shoulder of the gravel road. "Shit, shitty shit, shit," Two-Bit curses, slamming his fist on the dash.

I sit in my seat guiltily, the blood rushing from my face. I wait until he's done to ask, "Was that my fault?"

XxX

It's about two in the afternoon and Two-Bit's jabbering. "Okay, kid you were right. Never should have taken that shortcut." He's pacing in front of the truck, both of the doors propped open. "Because there's sure as shit ain't anyone out here!"

His yell echoes in the air. My eyes widen. "It's okay, Two-Bit. Here, have some water." He waves it away and I take a drink instead.

A brief smile flicks across his face before it disappears. "It ain't okay, kid. Because you don't look so hot right now, my leg's killing me and we've got a deadline I don't think we're going to make." He groans. "Darry's going to kill me. I'm going to my grave. Today, tomorrow, it don't matter."

"It won't be today."

"Thanks a lot, Pony."

XxX

I'm back in the collapsed bookstore. Water's rising around me, drips of wetness leaking through the roof. I try to get air but I choke. It's hot; my stomach coiling at the taste and smell of rancid, boiling water—

"Pony, wake up…"

I instantly sit up in the cab. "Was I sleeping?" I blink, noticing we're no longer on the back road. "Where are we?" My heart thumps hard in my chest.

"Someone came along; I got us a tow to the main road." Two-Bit wipes a palm against face. I feel my hair stick against my sweaty forehead. "You slept through it."

"I did?"

"Yeah." Two-Bit's eyes are a deep grey as he stares at me. "Listen, I'm gonna hitch a ride with this guy," it's then that I notice a large truck parked off to the side of the road with an older man sitting behind the wheel.

"I'm gonna call Steve or someone and have them come get us. Would you believe we're only about 4 hours from Tulsa?" His chuckle is bittersweet. "Stupid ass truck just wouldn't hold out."

I try and scoot off the seat, panic rearing. "I don't want to stay here alone. I wanna come."

Two-Bit shakes his head, the motion making me dizzy. "No, you gotta stay with the truck, Pony. I'll be right back. The phone's right up the road. Two minutes. I swear." He covers me with my jacket, tucking the ends taut. "Sit tight, kid. Don't move. Do you understand me?"

"I thought we weren't supposed to hitchhike, Two-Bit!" I holler as he climbs into the stranger's ride and they pull away. "Damn it." I scowl, pissed at getting left once again.

XxX

Oh, this chapter makes me happy for cell phones.

Even though I don't deserve them because I am a shitty updater, I would still really love reviews. That said, thanks to all for reading.

XO.

Feisty


	20. Chapter 20

Yes, you all made dirty liars out of me. This is not the last chapter. Argh.

Anyways, so many thanks from the bottom of my heart for all the amazing reviews last chapter. I appreciate mucho.

Disclaimers: Cursing below. SE Hinton owns the Outsiders. And she is amazing.

XX. Lost and Found

XxX

I check my watch. Only two in the afternoon. I shift my weight and eye my brother in the cereal aisle. "Soda. It can't be that hard. It's cereal. For God's sake, pick a box."

"Darry, there are very important choices to be made here." He shoos me away.

"I'm gonna go get milk," I tell him before wheeling the cart down the opposite aisle. "Come find me when you're done debating." I stop in front of the cooler case, grab a jug of whole milk and add it to the pile of food in the cart. Since Pony's absence Soda and I pretty much fended for ourselves when it came to meals. Now the house has no food and we need to stock up.

Having a taste of life without Pony was as scary as it was interesting; because while I enjoyed the freedom it wasn't the same. It wasn't my life I was living. Sure, a taste of another life at a different time but not the one I was meant for…

I'm so lost in thought a voice behind me makes me jump.

"Which one?"

"Damn, Sodapop!" I furrow my brow. Soda's holding two boxes of cereal out to me – Frosted Flakes and Lucky Charms.

"Which one?"

"Whichever Two-Bit won't eat."

Soda chuckles. "So I guess that means I should get Raisin Bran." After a minute he puts Lucky Charms into the cart and nestles the box of Frosted Flakes next to a loaf of bread. I shake my head, unwilling to scold him and move the cart down the lane, Soda falling into step beside me. "I'm nervous, Dar," he suddenly announces.

I turn to look at him. "For what?"

"To see Ponyboy…I mean," he laughs lightly, "What if he comes back different or…I don't know…" Instinctively, we both slow and Soda grabs a bottle of Hershey's Syrup. Soda glances at me out of the corner of his eye. "You planning to yell, ain't you?"

"Soda, he can't go running off, not tell anyone and get off Scott free," I grumble, feeling like the bad guy already.

"I know that, Dar. Hell, I'm planning on doin' some yelling myself." Soda smiles. "I just really can't wait to hug the living daylights out of him."

I nod. "I know the feeling."

XxX

It's been 15 minutes and Two-Bit still hasn't showed up. I keep picturing different horror scenarios – the man in the truck kidnapped my friend, they got in some sort of horrible car accident before Two-Bit could call my brothers and I'll never be found, Two-Bit got arrested…

I shake my head, clearing it of crazy nonsense. I check myself out in the rearview mirror and stifle a groan. Two-Bit was right; I don't look so hot. I see the sun in the back window – high in the sky and bright as hell. I lay down on the seat, wishing Two-Bit had left his sunglasses.

I try to lay still. But I'm hot and anxious and just can't do it. My arm throbs something fierce and the pills in my stomach aren't having the desired affect I wanted. Wiping sweaty palms on my jeans, I scoot around in the seat, trying to find my lighter and a pack of smokes. Finally, I spot them on the floor underneath the roadmap. "Two minutes my ass," I swear as I shakily light the cigarette. "C'mon Two-Bit, where are you…?"

Exhaling, white smoke fills the air around me, bringing with it a sense of calm. I take another deep breath and an odd sort of queasiness hits. I place hot hands against the cool dash of the truck and shut my eyes. The cigarette dangles from my lips. I wait. And after a long minute I know I'm going to be sick.

I fly out of the truck, not even bothering to shut the door and run down into the ditch to let it all out.

XxX

The TV's on when Soda and I get home. Soda dumps his grocery sacks on the kitchen table, glancing around the supposedly empty house. "Hello?" He arches an eyebrow my way. "Think they're already home?"

"Nah," I tell him, but am already headed down the hall. I crack their bedroom door, "Kiddo? Pony?" Bedroom empty, I join Soda back in the kitchen. He gives me a weird look.

"What? What is it?"

"Steve was here." Soda holds a piece of paper out to me. "He left this."

In Steve's chicken-scratch the note reads: _Two-Bit's ride broke down. I went to get him and the kid. Call you soon."_

XxX

I feel better; empty and weak but better. I wipe my mouth, wishing I had some water. I rub my arm, almost an ingrained motion by now and stare out across the dry, brown road. We're probably somewhere close to Oklahoma. It's comforting being so near to home but even more annoying that we couldn't finish the short drive back. I close my eyes, hoping Darry doesn't bust a gasket when he gets the call.

It's cool down in the ditch, a place to hide from the muggy air near the highway. A faint breeze touches over the deserted field and at first I think I hear my name being called. I ignore it for a moment and then as the light wind changes direction I really hear it. Someone shouting, "Ponyboy Curtiiiiiiiiis!"

"Shit," I mutter, scrambling back up the sloping earth, knowing it's Two-Bit finally come back. When I pop up over the ditch, there's Two-Bit pacing back and forth in front of the truck, hands cupped around his mouth. He gets as far as "Po—" before seeing me. His eyes widen.

"Where in almighty hell have you been, kid?" he snaps as I approach."I told you to stay in the truck. I told you to stay put. But do you ever listen? No. No you don't. Next time I'm bringing handcuffs."

"I threw up. Did you really want me to stay in the truck for that?"

"Valid point." He looks me over. "You doin ok?"

"What took you so long?"

"Well, if you must know…" Two-Bit picks a sack up that's lying on the ground beside him. "I got us some water and you some ginger ale and then I decided to buy a beer or two—"

"The phone call, Two-Bit. Did you talk to Darry?"

"_Oh_, the _phone call_ _that's_ what I went to the gas station for…"

"Two-Bit!"

"Relax, kid, I talked to Stevie. Your brothers were MIA so he's on his way down here."

I roll my eyes and open the passenger's side door of the truck. "Cursing and swearing all the way." I sit on the soft seat and lean my head back.

"I'm sure more swearing than cursing but that's our Steve." Two-Bit shrugs and begins rifling through the sack. "Hope he can fix ol' Bessie here." Finding what he wants, Two-Bit cracks the can of ginger ale. "Drink this so you don't ralph all over again."

"Thanks a lot."

"Hey," Two-Bit says, standing up and walking over to me, "don't say I never done nothin for you."

"That's a double negative."

"I know it is." He pats my shoulder and I grip the sweaty can of soda tight.

XxX

"Darry."

"Steve, what's goin' on?"

"I gotta go save two idiots is what I gotta do," Steve grumbles but then his voice changes. "Two-Bit's truck pitched a hissy fit and it's on the side of the highway right now."

"Where're they at?"

"They're in Texola; shouldn't be too bad of a trip." Steve sighs and I hear the sound of rushing traffic in the background.

"Shit, I'm sorry," I tell him. "You should have waited for me and Soda we could have gone and picked them up. No use in you wasting your gas."

"Ain't a problem, Darry," he says. "Besides, uh, I guess Pony's arm is giving him some trouble and uh, I figured it was best to get down there."

"What kind of trouble?" Steve hesitates. "Steve." I press.

"I don't really know, Dar. Two-Bit just said Pony threw a book out the window and wasn't feeling too good so I figured it was pretty serious."

I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Serious, huh?"

XxX

"Would you relax, kid? Stop worrying."

"I can't believe I did that," I murmur, my hands covering my hot face. "I threw my book out the window."

"Chucked it."

"Oh no…"

"And not just your book. A library book. Think of the late fees."

I groan into my hands. _Moby-Dick_ and the phone number, gone all gone. I briefly remember the wild urge and then the sensation of rolling down the window and flinging the heavy novel out the window. It sure had seemed like a good idea at the time.

I unfurl my fingers from my eyes, watching Two-Bit. He's sitting in the driver's seat, door propped open, legs kicked up on the dashboard. He's reading a magazine and every five minutes keeps glancing my way.

"Would you stop?"

"Stop what?"

"You know what. Eyeing me. I'm fine."

"Yeah, well…" He sticks an arm out and feels my forehead. I roll my eyes but don't bat him away. "Don't get too excited, kid." My hair sticks to my forehead when he peels his palm away.

XxX

"How much longer you think?"

"Two hours, maybe."

It's nearing four and then sun is lower in the sky, a kind of dull, yellow light. Two-Bit's cleaning his nails with his switchblade, reminding me of Dallas. I stare out the window, my stomach lurching. "You think Steve can fix the truck?"

"Aw, hell, Stevie can fix anything," Two-Bit says. "He's got the gift."

I think about it and agree with him. Steve is good when it comes to anything with four wheels and hubcaps. I think about it some more and then say, "You know, Two-Bit, I'm really sorry."

"For what?"

"For...for not listening to you in the first place. For dragging you along…for wrecking your truck."

"You didn't wreck my truck."

"Yeah, well then how come it feels like I did?"

Two-Bit's quiet for a long time. When he finally speaks, he says, "You know, kiddo, I'm not sorry. I reckon it's the first time I've ever been out of Tulsa and who knows when I would have gone out on my own. I tend to be lazy that way. And I saw some pretty cool shit. Got some hotshot glasses, saw the ocean."

"Plus," Two-Bit continues. "We were in a goddamn earthquake. We got the stories nobody else does."

I smile; the memory of San Francisco still fresh in my mind. "Yeah. We sure do."

XxX

We're in the middle of a game of "Go Fish" when there's a loud honk. "That's Steve," Two-Bit says without moving his eyes from his card hand. I glance up in time to see Steve's beat up Chevy swerve across oncoming traffic and screech to a stop a few feet away from Two-Bit's truck.

"I win," Two-Bit declares before suddenly bolting out of the truck. "Stevie!" he hollers as an irate looking Steve takes his time getting out of the Chevy.

'Bout goddamn time," Steve swears, slamming his door shut.

"You're my knight in shining armor," Two-Bit crows.

Steve cracks a smile before slugging Two-Bit in the arm. "Good to see you, man. Looks like the kid kept you in one piece." He eyes Two-Bit's leg. "Mostly."

Steve watches me climb out of the cab, his eyes dark and solemn, so much like Soda I can't wait to get back. "What about you?" he asks. "You still alive?"

"Get my postcard?" I return.

Instead of the scowl I was expecting, Steve snorts and moves toward me. He squeezes my shoulder. Hard. "Hell kid, am I glad to see you."

XxX

Steve's brought his tools and Soda's too and is tinkering underneath the hood of Bessie. Every so often a soft swear will erupt. Two-Bit's sipping a beer and hovering behind Steve watching his work. Finally, Steve stops and steps away, looking confused. "You got a jump right?" he asks.

Both Steve and I see the smart-ass comment that flickers across Two-Bit's face and before he can say anything, Steve holds out a finger. "Straight answer, man. I ain't in the mood."

"Yep," Two-Bit says. "Battery wouldn't start." He scratches a rusty sideburn. "That was my first thought too."

"Hmm…maybe if I…" Steve leans forward into the hood of the car, his dark head disappearing. "Hey, Pony," he calls out. "Can you dig in my bag there and find a wire brush?"

I hunt around and find what looks to be an oversized toothbrush with steel teeth. I give it to Steve who mutters a brief thanks and then starts scraping away at the battery. "If I drove all the way out here for this…" he grunts between scrapings, "I'm gonna kick your ass Two-Bit…"

XxX

The truck starts. Dirty battery posts.

Steve doesn't say much when it does, instead just looking like he wants to strangle Two-Bit with the jumper cables. He packs up his things and dumps them in the bed of his truck.

The sun's setting, nearing seven in the evening. It'll be close to midnight by the time we make it back to Tulsa. Two- Bit and Steve are talking in low whispers as I start throwing the cards and empty soda cans into the truck. I wince as my arm gives a twinge and wish I still had the pills. No matter how wonky they had made me at least they numbed the arm.

"Hey, Two-Bit," I ask. "Did you grab any aspirin?"

Steve looks embarrassed and says before Two-Bit can respond. "I, uh, grabbed some from your house before I left." He reaches into the cab of his truck, fumbling and then tosses me the plastic bottle. "Two-Bit said your arm hurt so I figured…" he trails off awkwardly.

Surprised, I manage thanks, holding the bottle like it's a time bomb. Two-Bit snorts. "Yeah, let's give the kid more pills."

"Shut up, Two-Bit." Taking two, I cap the bottle and stick it in his truck for later. "I'm sure you could use some yourself."

"I prefer to walk it off, thank you."

"If you can walk with that bum knee."

"I can do more things with this knee than—"

Steve bangs his hands on the hood of his truck. "Stop bitching. God and to think I almost missed this. Shit, let's get the hell out of here." He climbs into his seat, glancing over casually. "Kid, you wanna ride with me?"

"Uhhh…"

"Or don't. Doesn't matter." He slams his door shut.

"No, no, I will…" I blabber unsure as to why Steve's asking but not wanting to rock the boat. I turn to Two-Bit. "That okay?"

Two-Bit shoves me in the direction of Steve's truck. "Go for it, kid. Although, I never knew Stevie wanted some alone time with you."

Steve holds up his middle finger and revs his truck as I climb in next to him. "Keep talkin' Two-Bit. I'll leave your ass out here."

Two-Bit smirks. "I love you too, Stevie." Two-Bit points at me. "See you back at the old homestead, kiddo. First one back to Tulsa has to wash my truck."

XxX

"God," Sodapop moans. He's coming in from the porch, stinking of cigarette smoke. He lets the screen door slam behind him.

I look up from my book. "What?"

"So this is what it feels like when they're all gone? Pony, Steve, Two-Bit," he checks the list off on his fingers. "I'm so bored."

"Relax, Soda." I eye him nervously, already able to see Soda's antsiness kicking into full gear. But he's right. It's too quiet and too uneventful without everyone around. It's also sobering to realize how much of an impact our friends have.

"Do you want to play cards?"

"Cards?"

"Yeah, poker?"

I close my book. I glance at the clock on the wall and start counting down the hours, wondering how many rounds I can last until Sodapop gets bored again.

XxX

"Thanks for comin' out to get us, Steve," I tell him when we're about 20 miles down the road. "I really appreciate it."

Keeping his eyes straight ahead he says, "Sure thing, Pony. Although, don't think I won't cash in the favor."

I utter a soft chuckle. Outside, lights and road signs are a blur as they whiz by. The soft bouncing of moving along the road makes my eyes droop and I'm almost asleep.

"So how was it?"

My eyes open. "How was what?" I glance at Steve.

He looks at me like I'm an idiot. "The trip, kid. You know the thing you ditched town for and lied to your brothers about?"

"It was…pretty great," I admit.

Steve grunts and flicks his lights on. "Worth earning the wrath of Darry?"

Sighing, I run a hand through my hair. I exhale. "He's pretty furious ain't he?" My palms start sweating and I rub my hands together. All of a sudden, going home seems a lot scarier than before. I sigh again. "I know it's my fault, I'll fess up to that. I just…I didn't mean to be…careless..."

Steve's quiet for another minute and then says, "You're a stupid kid sometimes, Ponyboy, and granted you don't use your head all that much, but I don't think you screwed up as bad as you think this time."

Coming from Steve, that's a compliment. I fix my stare on the headlights of the oncoming cars. I swallow the lump in my throat, my aching arm reminding me it's there.

"Thanks. I guess."

"You'll be ok, anyway. Don't sweat it, kid."

Steve clears his throat. He reaches out to turn on the radio, saying, "'Sides, even though you and Two-Bit are both in the shit for sure…Darry ain't too bad." A sly smile sneaks across Steve's face. "He had his own fun when you were gone."

"Yeah. He mentioned something."

"I'll bet he did."

We both snicker in the dark cab of the pick-up truck. Steve keeps turning the dial, flipping between radio stations and static. I prop my elbow on the windowsill, resting my chin in my palm. "You know Steve," I finally tell him, watching his dark profile. "I think this is the first time we've ever had a conversation."

"I think you're right, kid. It's a nasty habit."

I smile into my hand.

XxX

I sit up in my seat when I see the "_Now Entering Tulsa_" sign approach in the darkness. Steve checks his mirror and I see him grin sneakily. He punches the gas and the truck lurches forward.

"What? Steve – what're you—" Passing by Steve's window is Two-Bit in his rusted ride. Our friend gives us a thumbs-up, sticks his tongue out and speeds past Steve, Bessie sounding like she's going to collapse at any moment.

"Oh, no you don't…" Steve murmurs as Two-Bit merges into our lane. "I'm not washing your goddamn truck..."

"Steve, he wasn't serious…"

"Really? You remember last Christmas and the five gallons of eggnog? Everything's a bet with Two-Bit."

"C'mon, Steve," I groan as he shifts gears and switches lanes to pass Two-Bit. The MPH's keep climbing. "Let's not bust your truck."

"We won't." He gives me a quick look, double takes and then swears, "Goddamn it, Pony, you ain't got your seatbelt on? Buckle it up, kid and keep a lookout for cops."

I give him a stare and suddenly he jams the breaks, nearly causing me to smack the dash. I brace myself with my bad arm, flinching. "Jesus, Steve," I snap, reaching for the seatbelt. It clicks into place.

"I told you."

He smirks as his truck gains on Two-Bit. I slump in my seat, covering my eyes and wondering if we'll make it home in one piece.

XxX

"Darry!"

The shout from Sodapop causes me to abruptly end my phone conversation with Pearl. "I'll talk to you later," I tell her before hanging up and darting into the living room.

"They're here!" Soda whoops, as two pick-up trucks barrel down our block at high speeds, the glow of the headlights bright and yellow in the dark night. Soda pulls the front door open and we both suck in a breath as Steve's truck hops the curb, narrowly missing taking out our mailbox. Two-Bit's truck nearly rear ends Steve's before swerving into the drive way, the horn blasting.

Before I can make sense of who's in what truck, there's a sharp cry of "Darry!" and suddenly a long-legged Ponyboy is barreling out of Steve's and headed my way.

I take off down the steps.

XxX

As always:

Pardon typos.

Please review.

Floss regularly.


	21. Chapter 21

XXI. Finally Begin

We swerve onto my block and I cover my eyes as Steve hops the curb. "Shit, Steve!" I swear as his truck jolts and lurches, almost sideswiping our mailbox. Braking hard, he mutters his own choice curse and then cuts the engine.

We sit for a beat and then swivel our heads to watch Two-Bit barrel into the driveway. I give Steve a nod. "We beat 'im."

"Damn right we did."

Then I look back toward my house and see the two dark figures standing in the doorway. It seems as if time stops; the odd feeling of being home and the wrongness of being away. And then, suddenly, I'm out of the truck, skirting the front lawn and making a beeline for my brothers.

XxX

I grab the kid up and I just squeeze. His face is smashed up against my chest and I can't hear a damn word he's saying. Finally, shakily, I let him pull back. I can't believe it. He's only been gone a week but he's tall than I remember, his hair long and shaggy. My heart hurts. "Pony, I—"

He opens his mouth, "Dar—"

Ponyboy goes flying as Soda slams into him for a hug. It's practically a tackle as he knocks Pony onto his ass. They both land on the lawn, darkness shielding their faces, reminding me of the night Pony and I chased Soda after our one big fight.

Pony wriggles beneath Sodapop's grasp and they both pull away, laughing. Pony rolls up into a sitting position. Soda sits back on his heels and the two of them lock eyes.

"Kiddo," Soda says, "I missed you so goddamn much."

XxX

Despite the late hour, the house is warm. It's alive. Darry's dragged in the luggage while Steve's bitching to Sodapop about Two-Bit's stupid truck. Not one of my brother's has laid into me about my trip. But I know I'm in for it. The look in Soda's eyes on the lawn had said everything.

For now, I'll take what I can.

I pull my legs under me and settle on the couch. I stifle a yawn, watching Soda laugh, thankful to be back. Darry walks by, touching me on the back of the head and asking if I'm okay. I give him an answer he wants and he disappears into the kitchen.

XxX

Two-Bit finds me in the kitchen as I'm dumping some coffee grounds into a filter. It's going to be a long night, no one wanting to go to bed, instead staying up to catch up. Laughter floats in from the living room.

"So, uh, Darry…" He has his hands in his pockets, face solemn. "I, uh, wouldn't blame you if you wanted to pound me…"

I turn around and face him. "Two-Bit, I was plannin' on skinning you when you got back, you know that?"

He nods, curt. "Yeah, I had a feeling."

"And I still ain't happy but I'm gonna deal with Pony and hope that you…" I trail off and then snap, annoyance and anger getting the better of me, "Well…hell, Two-Bit, what were you thinkin? Takin him to California?"

"If you wanna get all technical, he's the one who took me, but," he hurries on, "that's neither here nor there. And for what it's worth, Dar, I'm sorry." He lowers his voice, wincing. "Really sorry."

I don't say anything, instead taking a mug from the cupboard as the smell of freshly brewed coffee fills the kitchen. Two-Bit pulls a chair out from the kitchen table and plops down. "If you want…you can hit me." He sticks his chin out and shuts his eyes. "Go ahead…"

I chuckle. "Is that gonna make me feel better or you?"

"Definitely me. Possibly you. Maybe Steve."

I pour myself a cup of coffee. "Do one thing for me."

"Name it."

"Tell him no, the next time he gets some stupid idea."

Standing, Two-Bit puts a hand over his heart. "I will. I promise. Scout's honor." He gives a grin and nods my way. "We good?"

"We're good. But one last thing…" I smile inwardly as Two-Bit automatically tenses up. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"For keepin' an eye on Pony."

Two-Bit's face softens almost imperceptibly. "Aw heck, ain't nothin to it. Although if you want to know, I shoulda been paid by the hour," he says, giving me a grin before joining the guys in the living room.

XxX

Ponyboy falls asleep on the couch. Soda covers him with a blanket and waves goodbye to Steve and Two-Bit. They close the front door softly behind them.

"You should go to bed too Soda," I tell my brother. "The state comes tomorrow."

"Yeah," Soda says. "I filled Pony in on our story."

"Lies, Soda. In on our lies."

He arches his eyebrow. "Hey, whatever works." He's quiet and then asks, hesitant, "When are you going to talk to him?"

"Tomorrow. You?"

"Tomorrow. I didn't want to ruin it tonight…ya know?"

"Yeah." My voice is husky. Not wanting to spoil Ponyboy's homecoming both Soda and I hadn't the courage to lay into our youngest brother.

Soda groans, wiping his face in his hands. "What is my problem?"

"We're chicken shits, Soda."

"Yup."

XxX

I wake up on the couch, rubbing my eyes and my sore arm. I use the bathroom, brush my teeth with my left arm and then find myself standing in the middle of the living room wondering what to do next. It's a strange sensation; like I left a part of myself behind in San Francisco.

I go outside, sit on the porch and light a smoke.

XxX

The door cracks open behind me. I turn and it's Darry, freshly showered and in one of his tight-fitting t-shirts and jeans. He sits beside me. "How're you doin, kiddo? You look tired."

"M'okay, Darry."

He sighs. "We need to talk, Pony."

I rub my hands on my jeans. "I know it."

"I'm gonna make this short."

"Sure, Dar." I can see he doesn't want to rehash gory details and for that I'm thankful.

"You're in deep shit, kiddo." Darry exhales sharply, like he's been holding all that in and then says, "I hope you got whatever it was out of your system in California because you're grounded, Ponyboy. For a long time. Dishes, dinners, they're all yours until I say otherwise. No parties, not even movies…"

"I know."

"I mean it, kid. You got a lot of trust to earn back."

"I _am_ sorry, Darry."

There's a long silence. And just when I think we're done with the conversation, Darry clears his throat. "Why'd you – I mean, was it because…" Darry trails off, suddenly looking nervous and strangely sad.

I'm confused. "Was it what?"

"Look, I know things ain't been good between us for a while and that I shouldn't yell at you so much and I should listen more but that don't give you a reason to go running off like you did."

He swallows thickly and I get it.

Darry puts a hand on my back. "What if something had happened to you? And I couldn't have been there…or…or…" I keep my eyes on the ground, afraid to look at my brother because I really don't want to see his face.

"I'd never forgive myself, Ponyboy. Do you understand that?"

I don't know what to say. I just nod. Darry reaches out and tugs me over, closer to him. He kisses the top of my head. "You're a good kid, Ponyboy but so help me god, if Soda and I have to lock you in the bedroom for the rest of your life, we will."

XxX

Mrs. Burrows comes and goes. I repeat the story about camp that Soda's told me and she swallows it. I thank my lucky stars it's this easy and that I made it back in time. Darry walks her to her car, leaving me and Sodapop inside.

I grab the teacups, Mrs. Burrow's red lipstick smudged on the side of one, and head to the kitchen. I dump the cups in the sink and begin filling it with hot water. Soda follows me back.

"I know Darry gave you the lecture so I'll spare you, but the next time you do something like this," Soda crosses the kitchen and swats the back of my head, "I'm going to brain you."

"Hey!" I twist around, rubbing my hair. "Jeez, Sodapop, not you too."

"Yes, me too," he says. "You know, this is the first time in my life I've really wanted to kick your ass Ponyboy Curtis."

"So why don't you?"

"Because I don't want to hurt the one good arm you have. Especially now that you're on dish duty."

I raise an eyebrow. "Funny."

A smile snakes its way across Soda's face. "You better believe it, kiddo."

XxX

Things go back to almost-normal.

Darry's calmer. I even get to tell him and Soda some stories about the trip. I tell them about surfing and Haight Ashbury and the ocean. I don't tell them about the earthquake or the choking sensation that threatens to creep up on me when I think about it.

My brothers go to work while I stay cooped up in the house, taking care of chores, only going out to do the grocery shopping or cut the grass.

Two-Bit doesn't come by. Steve tells me he's avoiding Darry, which is understandable. And as much as I try to tell myself it's no big deal, it hurts. I miss him.

It's hard as hell not going to the lake or to the movies or even The Pass with Steve and Soda but I try to sit tight and stay out of trouble.

After all, it's my own making.

Night's the worst. That's when I dream. I dream of the ocean with its waves and dark spots and I go back to the earthquake, the bookstore and the close, shadowy quarters.

I lay awake at night, fending off sleep, swimming in a murky haze. Soda snores beside me but I don't breathe a word. My arm still aches even though it's healed.

XxX

Pearl's laughing as we enter the house. She clasps her hands together, whispering. "So I finally get to meet this mysterious, trouble-making brother of yours?"

Pony twists around at the kitchen table, eyes widening slightly. "Hey, Dar." A sandwich sits in front of him, a book next to it.

"Pony, this is Pearl," I tell him as Pearl heads towards him and Pony stands from his seat to shake her hand.

"Nice to meet you."

"Delighted," Pearl quips. "Wow, you are the spitting image…." She points at me and then back to Pony, waggling her finger. "Not sure if it's Darry or Soda…but you are a cutie."

He blushes and mumbles thanks. "How was dinner?" he asks me.

"Good. The house looks nice, kiddo," I tell him. In fact, the house is spotless, Pony keeping up his end of the bargain. As my eyes brush over the house and then fall back on my brother, I frown.

"Thanks Dar," he picks his plate up, dumping the remnants of the sandwich in the trash and then quickly washing his plate. He asks Pearl, "So you're the girl he met camping?"

I nearly groan. But Pearl laughs. "One of them," she tells him. This time, I do groan.

A sneaky smile appears across Pony's mouth. "Guess it's a good thing I disappeared for a week."

Pearl chortles. "Oh, I like this one." She plops on the couch. "Want to watch TV with us? That's okay, right, Darry?"

"Yeah, sure," I mutter, amused at Pearl's enthusiasm for my brother. She's a people person, reminding me more and more of Sodapop with her outgoing personality. I turn to Pony. "Kiddo, are you—"

"I'm tired," he says before I can get to the point. He smiles at Pearl. "Thanks but I think I'm gonna go read and then go to bed." He hurries out of the living room, leaving me and Pearl alone.

XxX

I suck in a scream and sit up in bed. Soda's nowhere to be seen, probably still out with Steve. Shakily, I turn on my bedside lamp, the yellow glow lighting up the room. It's the darkness that gets me every time.

I climb out of bed, heading for the door and when I open it, Darry's standing there. I blink. "What—?"

Darry rubs his mussed hair. "I thought I heard something. You're up."

"I can't sleep," I tell him. "I keep dreaming about…the dark."

Surprisingly, Darry understands. "Oh, kiddo." He places strong hands on my shoulders. "You know what..." He pulls me in and gives me a hug.

"What, Darry?" My voice comes out muffled against his t-shirt. He smells like soap and cologne.

"You'll be okay. It's just a dream." Flashbacks hit me, bringing me to this moment that suddenly feels exactly where I should be.

I squeeze Darry back just as hard. "You're right," I tell him, really meaning it.

XxX

Two days later, I nearly trip over Ponyboy. He's lying in the middle of the living room, on his back, holding a book I've seen him read two times earlier this week, high above him.

I tap the sole of his shoe with my boot. "Go."

He lowers the book, his green eyes big. "Go where?"

"To the library. I know those books need to be returned."

He sits up fast, almost in disbelief. "Really?"

I have to laugh as he scrambles up. "Yes, really. Now get out of here but Ponyboy—" He stops on his way to the door. "You get an hour, kiddo."

He grabs up his books, stuffing his wallet in his back pocket and then groans. "I have to pay for _Moby-Dick_."

"Yeah, I figured that. Next time don't go throwin books out windows."

He gives me a smirk and is almost out the front door before he stops and pops his head back in. "Darry, next time I go to California—"

"Ponyboy, so help me god—"

"You're coming with me," he finishes quickly, flashing me a beaming grin before flying outside, the bright sun ricocheting off the mesh screen. I shield my eyes, watching my brother go and feeling like everything's as it should be.

Pony and I—we're okay.

XxX

"Hey, kid, where're you headed?"

"None of your business."

"Aw, that's mean to say. C'mon now, those books look heavy."

"Ain't too bad."

"Want a ride?"

"Can't take rides with strangers."

"Well, that's a crock."

Ignoring the truck tailing me, I shift the weight of my backpack to the other shoulder, relishing my freedom if only for an hour.

"C'mon Ponyboy, don't be a stubborn ass," Two-Bit finally hollers. He honks at me and swerves over to the sidewalk, blocking my path. "Besides I brought you a present."

"What."

"This!" Smoothly, Two-Bit flashes me with a copy of Moby-Dick.

"Where'd you get that?" I ask, stepping forward.

"Bought it. Just for you. Figured you could use it to replace the one you trashed."

I reach for it again and Two-Bit pulls it back. "Now get in the truck and I'll give it to you." I roll my eyes but walk around to the passenger side and climb in. Two-Bit watches me for a minute and then sighs, handing over the book. "Look, kid, I know you're pissed I haven't been over. But I thought I'd let Darry cool off some."

"Yeah," I murmur, turning the book around in my hands. It's a new copy, the cover shiny and clean.

"'Sides," Two-Bit continues. "I've never been on a trip like that before. Being back's scary."

"You have dreams?"

"Kind of. More like shadowy figures in the corners."

"That makes sense."

"Only to you, kid. Only you."

I sit back in my seat, in the truck that Two-Bit and I took cross country not more than three weeks ago. A lifetime ago, if I'm honest about it. I evaluate my friend, rusty sideburns and all, and give him a grin. "Let's go then, I only got an hour."

"Look at you, Ponyboy Curtis listening for once."

"Shut up, Two-Bit."

Two-Bit revs the engine and peels out down the strip. I watch Tulsa pass by like a slideshow. "Tell me something, kid," he announces suddenly.

"What's that?"

"Would you do it again?"

I'm a bad person. I know it. To put my brother's through hell by disappearing, disobeying, and lying to them both. I want to tell Two-Bit that I'm sorry, so sorry, and never should have done it in the first place but then I think of the Golden Gate Bridge and I'm not _that_ sorry.

I give him a look.

A smile curls on Two-Bit's face. "Yeah, so would I."

XxX

AND it's done.

Meh. I hope, hope, hope this ending is satisfactory. I wanted to tie it up – but not too neat. Loose ends are meant to be left. Please review if you so choose.

Thank you for reading. And bearing with me. And all your great feedback.

XO,

Feisty.


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